Apparently, Candy Isn't So Dandy

As if there wasn’t enough to worry about these days… now eating too much candy can lead to a life of crime.

I know, I can’t believe it either.

But in an October study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry (which I read religiously), they looked at kids who ate candy daily at age 10 and found that 69% of them were ARRESTED for a violent offense by age 34.

Now, if you told me the study showed that 7 of every 10 British kids who ate candy daily had horrible teeth, I’d believe you. But violent crimes? C’MON! This smells like propaganda from the International Broccoli Council to me. I guess “Just wait until your father gets home” and “Think about the starving children in Africa” are no longer persuasive enough motivation techniques.

“Eat your veggies or wind up in the Big House” carries that extra je ne sais quoi.

The study further goes on to explain that parents who regularly bribe their kids with sweets in exchange for good behavior are doing harm. Hmm. What about parents who bribe their kids with clothes and shoes and jewelry and handbags in exchange for good grades? Because that’s pretty much how I grew up, and I’ve got news for these Brits -- it worked like a charm (bracelet).

Anyway, I seriously doubt I ate candy DAILY as a kid (unless carob chips count -- my mom went through a health food phase where we had a lot of “nature’s chocolate” lying about). So, maybe I should eat candy daily at age 36 and see if it inspires a crime spree by the time I turn 60…

Here are the delicious sweets that would turn me sour (aka my 7 Candy Sins):
1) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
2) Whatchamacallit
3) Butterfingers
4) Twix
5) Gummy Cola Bottles
6) Skittles
7) Cherry-flavored Jolly Ranchers

And here’s the horrible candy that I’d never eat, thus keeping me on the straight and narrow:
1) Wax Lips
2) Candy Buttons
3) Good & Plenty
4) Jordan Almonds
5) Mounds Bars
6) Necco Wafers
7) Red Hots

What treats would turn YOU to a life of crime? List them below! (Bonus points for calling out more horrible candy…)