My Summer of Grilling

Did you know we eat 50 BILLION burgers a year?  That translates to about 3 PER WEEK per American.

That's a lot o' meat.

Now, I think by now you know I love to cook. And yet somehow, I went nearly 42 years without ever grilling. Probably because I think of barbecuing as Man's Work, like fishing and taking out the trash. And other stuff I don't feel like doing.

But I decided that's silly. Back in May, I bought a Weber at Home Depot and a ton of tools. (I love any excuse to accessorize.)

And you know what? Cooking outdoors is fun!

I think I know the reason that it's so popular: Because nobody invites friends over to microwave.

So throughout the summer, I fired up the grill.  Well, okaaay, I plugged it in and turned it up really, really high.  They say you can't have an open flame on the terrace...

Damn you, safety!

Anyway, you'll see I made burgers, and chicken, and steak, and seafood, and even s'mores.  What you won't see here is ribs.

Why?

Watching someone eat ribs is like watching the nature channel. It's gross. I feel the same about wings.

Personally, I love animals -- they're delicious. But if you don't like meat, this post probably isn't for you...

I started the summer making bacon cheeseburger sliders with ketchup and grilled onions. Yum.
"Man, I wish this was made of tofu," said no one ever. One nugget of advice -- just say NO to pre-made patties.
Make your own (and don't forget the salt & pepper). It makes all the difference.

Next up was Mexican turkey burgers. These were really tasty, if I do say so myself.
I mixed chorizo & green chiles with ground turkey, then I melted some pepper jack cheese
and slathered a brioche bun with guacamole on the top and chipotle mayo on the bottom.
I made it up as I went along, but it was a fiesta in my mouth!

I was feeling oddly Polynesian on this day, so  I made a teriyaki, brown sugar, mustard marinade
for salmon and grilled up some pineapples. That yellow lumpy stuff is rice. And that mason jar
is filled with pineapple lemonade wishing it was a cocktail.

This looks a little like chicken, but it's not. I wanted caprese salad, but needed something heartier
because I was, per usual, STARVING. So I made a spinach salad with heirloom cherry tomatoes and
marinated mozzarella balls and tossed it all in balsamic. Then I topped it with flank steak
marinated in Italian salad dressing and sundried tomato paste. I even remembered to let it
rest after I pulled it off the grill and I cut it against the grain so it wasn't chewy.
Two decades of watching Food Network finally paid off!

Here's a BBQ classic! This actually IS chicken, boneless and smothered in BBQ sauce. I used Sweet Baby Ray's
Hickory & Brown Sugar. To get it to steam, I soaked the corn in water for about an hour before I
wrapped it in foil with some butter and ranch seasoning. Then I grilled it with the chicken.
Once I shut the grill off, I loaded it up with s'mores to get some melty marshmallowy goodness going.
Full disclosure: I bought the cherry limeade and the cornbread. And I ate the s'more first.

My last grilling adventure was shrimp over pesto pasta salad. Here I used grape tomatoes, lots of
parmesan and Orzo macaroni because that's my mom's maiden name so I always have a box 
laying around. I probably could have grilled the tomatoes too, but I was feeling a little lazy.

Since today is Labor Day, summer has unofficially come to an end. But I feel like I'm on a grilling roll! I don't want to pack up the Weber just yet.  So share YOUR favorite BBQ tips or recipes below and I'll try them out.

Unless they involve ribs.  I leave that to the cavemen.

Or hot dogs. Because they're gross.

Yep, I said it.  Discuss...


tags: food, recipes

The Best Pasta Salad I've Ever Eaten

I've gone gluten-free. So anything made with wheat = no bueno.

It's been about 4 months and it's actually going pretty good.  I started because I heard it helps reduce inflammation.  Knowing myself, I needed something like this that could be more of a lifestyle change than a true diet (though I have lost about 20lbs in the process!).  Apparently, going vegan is even better to bring down swelling, but I could never, ever give up dairy. 

My middle name is Cheese.  And also, TV.  And also, Michelle.

Subconsciously, I think it was a way for me to control SOMETHING when my health was on a bottomless downward spiral.  Truth is, though, even now that I've rebounded I don't mind the restrictions.

Mostly.

I never really noticed before, but GF substitutes are everywhere! From grocery stores to restaurants, it's pretty easy to stay on track because everybody who's anybody is swapping wheat for rice. You learn about new brands like Udi's, Van's, and Glutino but even Ronzoni, Bisquick and Betty Crocker have jumped in the ring.

Gluten's kinda sneaky (FACT: it lurks in soy sauce).  You'd be surprised what never had gluten to begin with and is totally ok to eat.  Like, Cheetos (FACT: they are delicious). When I do fall off the gluten wagon, it's usually for fluffy pancakes, crispy pizza, crusty bagels, or a cozy bowl of pasta.

But that's not my fault, that's Science.

Anyway, I've been eating lots of salads.  Do you know what my favorite kind of salad used to be?  Pasta salad!  Let me be clear: not nasty supermarket counter mayonnaise-y elbow macaroni pasta salad.  Fancy pasta salad.

The best I've ever had was at a restaurant in Scottsdale, AZ, called Cowboy Ciao.  They're famous for their Stetson Salad, and for good reason: it's savory and sweet and crunchy and creamy and super addictive. So much so, that when I came home, I HAD to recreate it -- and make it even better with more of the things I like.

Next time I cheat, it will totally be with this here cowboy...


THE STETSON CHOPPED SALAD

TIME: 10 minutes cook time, 30 minutes prep time

SERVES: 4 people once, or a single gal for 4 nights

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 cups of Israeli couscous (if you find a GF kind, let me know!)
• 4oz of smoked salmon
• A handful of grape tomatoes, quartered
• 1 can of corn nibblets, drained
• A few tbsps of sunflower seeds
• A handful of dried cranberries (or Craisins or Plum Amazins)
• Shredded asiago cheese 
• Guacamole ranch dressing (as much as you like)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Go shopping for all this stuff -- and find a more economical way to do it than I did.  It cost me $34.62, and I didn't even care. Yep, this is THAT good.  Also, I mis-manage my money so my tolerance for overspending is quite high.
2. Come home and make the couscous according to whatever the box says.  Make sure you get the Israeli kind that looks like pasta pearls, not the tiny kind that looks like seedy sand.  They will probably tell you to toast the couscous, then boil and drain it.  Feel free to skip the toast part -- I never have the energy for that step and it still tastes just fine.
3. Lay the couscous in a bed at the bottom of deep dish bowl and let it cool off.  Later, you'll be making stripey layers on top of the couscous with each of the ingredients.  This may seem unnecessary, but it is not.  Organized food tastes better.
4. Chop up the smoked salmon.  This is the best part of the salad.  If you don't like salmon, get over it.  It's the bacon of the sea.  If you do, it's up to you how much to spend here, but since you'll be eating it with a whole bunch of other stuff, no one will know if you buy the cheaper packaged kind.
5. Cut all the grape tomatoes into fourths so the pieces are small and will blend in with the rest of the chopped salad.  If you can't find grape, use cherry and cut into eighths, but beware those have more greenish oozy tomato guts inside.
6. Open (and drain) the can of corn, the dried fruit, the cheese, and the sunflower seeds.  Feel free to substitute anything you want here, but you're looking for a mix of sweet (corn), sweet chewy (fruit), salty (cheese), and salty crunchy (seeds).  Also, use these in any amount you like.  I added measurements because this is a recipe, but the truth is I never use them when I cook.  Or assemble pretty salads.
7. Remember those stripey layers I mentioned in Step 3?  Now's the time to make them.  Start with the salmon down the center and build out from there.  You should be able to fit 7 in total, including one for a peek at the couscous that lies underneath.
8. Now bring this to the table and let your friends and family oooh and ahhh.  Take a victory lap. You earned it!  Incidentally, this is how they do it in the restaurant, too.
9. Last step is to mix it all up, tableside. Pour the creamy guacamole ranch dressing on top and go to town.  Yes, I said, "creamy," as in fatty -- skinny cooks can't be trusted.  If you can't find the guacamole kind of ranch, get some guacamole and mix it with some good old-fashioned ranch.  It's really not complicated.
10. Now chow down. Shouting "Yee Haw!" with a mouthful of food is 100% optional. You should probably chew and swallow first.

So, is a salad really a salad if it doesn't contain anything green? 

And can you seriously not wait to make this at home?  Go!  Do it.  Then mosey on over to the comments and tell me how it was.


tags: food

Comfort Food in a Storm

So I'm waiting for a wallop from Sandy, the Frankenstorm. 

Maybe you are too?

The city has pretty much shut down.  This was Second Ave at about 10:30 this morning.  A total ghost town.

But that's ok, I didn't really need to go out and stock up -- my pantry is perpetually prepared for a disaster. 

Now, the garbage is emptied.  The dishwasher's run. I made ice cubes. My cell is charged. I have plenty of water and a flashlight and candles. I took a shower.  I scrubbed the tub.

While I might be prepared, I don't exactly feel... comforted.  There's only one thing that will do.

Mac & cheese.

Ordinarily, I'm a HUGE fan of Kraft Deluxe -- it's quick and creamy and hits the spot.  But I've always wanted a homemade homerun -- a go-to recipe to add to my repertoire.

I found a pretty classic one, which I followed today.  It was just good -- not great.  Here's how I will make it better next time:

CREAMY HOMEMADE MAC & CHEESE

TIME: About 30 mins prep, 20 minutes on the cooktop, less than 5 mins in the oven

SERVES: 8-12 people (or 1 very hungry hurricane homebody)

INGREDIENTS:
For the bechamel:

• 1 quart container of whole milk (don't skimp on the fat here -- you need it)
• 1 whole stick of salted butter 
• Half a cup of all-purpose flour

For the pasta:

• Kosher salt
• 1 box of elbow macaroni (about 1 lb)
• An 8 or 10oz brick of sharp cheddar, freshly shredded (about 3 cups)
• 1 cup of a grated hard Italian cheese, like Parmesan, Asiago or Pecorino Romano
• Dijon mustard to taste (I added this because the original recipe needed a little zing)
• French's French Fried Onions (optional topping, also added by me)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Boil a pot of salted water, then add the macaroni.  If you don't like elbow, use another kind.  I am not the boss of you!  Al dente or mushy -- your choice. Drain the pasta, then set it aside.
2. Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees if you plan to bake this in a casserole dish at the end.  (If not, find the biggest spoon you have and get it ready to scoop straight from the pot to your pie-hole.  No shame in that game.)
3. Grab a saucepan and heat your milk over medium heat until it simmers.  Warm milk gets that gross skin on top, so don't let it sit.
4. If you don't have a dishwasher, buy one now.  I'll wait... 
5. You need a THIRD pot -- preferably large and cast-iron.  In this, melt the stick of butter over medium heat, then add the flour.  Swish that around with a whisk for a few minutes until it turns a light brown and seems cooked, or until your arm gets tired.
6. Slowly add the warm milk to the flour and butter and whisk that around until the lumps dissolve into a creamy white sauce that coats the back of a spoon (or use your whisk if you don't want another thing to wash).  This is your bechamel.
7. Mix in the grated cheese, then add the cheddar cheese a handful/cup at a time.  It should melt nicely because it's freshly grated.  Don't cheat here and buy pre-shredded!  Your sauce will slowly start to turn a pretty yellow.
8. Now's the time to taste this bad boy.  Add salt, pepper, mustard, or whatever you like until its well-seasoned.
9. Dump the drained pasta into the sauce and stir it all around until every piece is coated in cheesy goodness.  Taste it again but this time use a different spoon.  Nobody wants your mouth all over their macaroni.
10. You could just eat it at this point and it would be great.  But don't.
11. The recipe I read called for putting it in a casserole, topping with panko breadcrumbs and baking it for 25 minutes.  The problem?  It made it dry.  Instead, put it in a casserole, and top it with French's French Fried Onions, and pop it in the oven for just a few minutes to crisp.  Keep an eye out because they can burn quickly, but this will keep it creamy inside with a crunchy top.
12. Now... eat it!

It is possible that your macaroni could get lonely.  If that happens, I highly suggest you make this other dish, which I made a few weeks ago.  Just invite some people over -- it is impossible to eat 2 pork loins by yourself.  Trust me.

DR. PEPPER BBQ PULLED PORK

TIME: 6 hours to cook, 30 minutes to shred

SERVES: 8-12 people

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 pork loins (or a big pork shoulder)
• 1 yellow onion
• 3 cans of Dr. Pepper (not diet)
• 1 bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce

 DIRECTIONS:

1. Grab a crockpot or slow cooker and set it for 6 hours/high if you're making the loin.  Set it for 8 hours/low if you're making the shoulder because that meat is tougher.  If you don't have a crockpot, I guess try a cast iron pot.  But really, get a crockpot -- they are cheap and easy to use.
2. Line the bottom of the pot with chunks of the onion.  Keep them big so you can fish them out at the end.
3. Place the pork on top of the onions, then fill with Dr. Pepper until it covers the meat.
4. Put the lid on, and fire it up.  Resist the temptation to open the lid during the first 2 hours of cooking.  Apparently that's when all the heat gets trapped inside, which I learned the hard way...
5. Do stuff.  Live your life.  The meat will be fine. 
6. At the 6 or 8 hour mark, stick a fork in the meat and try to pull it out.  If it comes out whole, stick it back in.  It's not ready. 
7. Once the meat is falling apart, scoop it all out onto a cutting board and use 2 forks to pull/shred the meat.  It will be hot so try not to touch it with your hands.  Discard any fat or anything that looks yucky.  The plain meat should be slightly sweet, if you taste it.  Which you should.
8. Dump the soda and onions, they were just for flavor.  Or dare somebody to drink it. 
9. Put the shredded pork back in the crockpot and add your favorite BBQ sauce.  I used Corky's, a famous spot in Memphis, and a tasty gift that the Tennessee Kids' State Dinner winner gave me. 
10. Let everything heat back up. Taste it to make sure it's saucy, salty, sweet, or spicy enough.  If not, add whatever it's missing.
11. Stick it in a bun, a bowl, or a burrito, and eat!

So, there you have it.  Comfort food in a storm.  Hurry, while your oven still works!

Are YOU cooking today?  Does anyone have any Halloween candy left?  And who thinks Sandy is a silly name for a storm? 

Discuss... and stay safe out there!


tags: food, recipes

Cookies for Santa

I was out shopping one day and I saw an electric cookie press for the bargain price of $27.99. 

Obviously, I bought it. 

I mean, it's totally normal for a single gal in the city who lives in a glorified shoebox to have a food processor, toaster, stand mixer, crock pot, reversible griddle/grill pan, gigantic cast iron pot, blender, knife block, and single-shot coffee maker jammed on a mere 2 square feet of counter space.  Right?  Nevermind I don't even drink coffee.  (I don't drink wine either, and I have about half a dozen bottles of THAT laying around too.)

Anyway, I couldn't resist the cookie press.  And yes, I know I'll probably only use it once a year.  I don't care.  The other 364 days it can live in the cupboard above the fridge -- right next to my ice cream maker and fondue pot.  So next time it's Christmas, summer, or the 1970s, I'll be prepared.   

Hi, my name is Jen and I'm an appliance-aholic.

So I'm down in Del Boca Vista enjoying semi-retirement for the holidays, and my mom and I made a treat today using my trusty new electric cookie press.  I remember she had one when we were kids and we made cream cheese spritz cookies every Christmas.  Both the press and the recipe are long gone, but thanks to a little Googling, Santa's eating good tonight! 

Here's what we'll be leaving out for the big guy:

CREAM CHEESE SPRITZ COOKIES

TIME: About 10 mins prep, 12-15 mins in the oven, and a lifetime on the hips

SERVES: 4 dozen(ish)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 sticks of butter (just go with it)
• Half a brick of cream cheese -- about 4 oz
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2.5 cups of flour
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract
• 1 tsp of lemon extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Get out the hand mixer and combine the room-temperature butter and cream cheese on medium speed -- enough as to mix it, not so much as to wear it.
3. Add in the sugar and mix some more.
4. Plop in the egg yolk, and the 2 extracts.  Keep on mixing.
5. Gradually add the flour.  Or if you're impatient like me, just dump it in -- it will all blend together. Eventually.
6. When everything is combined, you'll have a sticky dough.  If you think trees taste better when they are green or poinsettias taste better red, now would be the time to also add some food coloring.
7. Next, lay down a sheet of waxed paper and dump the dough in the center.  Use the paper as a buffer to help you form it into a log without it caking all over your fingers.
8. Choose your design and load up your cookie press with dough.
9. Spritz directly onto the cookie sheet, one at a time.  You don't have to leave much room inbetween the cookies -- they don't spread all that much. 
10. This is important: Resist all temptation to use cooking spray, parchment paper, or a Silpat liner.  The dough won't stick to anything but the pan.  Don't ask me why.
11. Bake for 12-15 minutes.  But keep an eye on them.  They'll start to get brown on the bottom, but still look kind of pale on top.  That's ok.
12. Eat them.

Oh, one more thing!

Here is a sign that your cookies are overcooked: They are black.  

These are the last batch that I forgot about in the oven.  After 45 minutes, they probably should have disintegrated into tiny heaps of ash if it wasn't for all that butter.

I'm not much of a baker (clearly), but these are super easy and they tasted just like I remembered.  They're sure to push you to the top of the Nice list if you serve them warm with a glass of ice-cold milk.  And don't forget carrots for Rudolph or else he will poop on your lawn.

Ho, ho, ho!


tags: food, holidays

Mamma's Eggplant Parmigiana

It's Mother’s Day and I’m in NYC, while my mom’s more than 1K miles away in FL.

Poo.

Sure I sent her presents, and we talk at least 2x per day, and I see her every other month.  But it’s not enough. I miss being with her on days like today. I know she misses being with her kids, too.

My dad is often the life of the party, but my mom is shy when you first meet her. Observing her surroundings, hanging in the background, taking it all in. My mom doesn’t come up to you -- you go to her. But when she’s comfortable with you, she’s the warmest, most thoughtful, generous and kind woman you’ll ever know.

She has a HUGE heart and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for us.

She can be funny too. One of my favorite mom-isms is when she says, “Fat you can lose, ugly is forever.” So in her honor, I’m posting a beloved family recipe for eggplant parmigiana. It's not low calorie -- it's fried and it's cheesy and delicious.  If you want healthy, don't bother.  Eat a veggie burger instead. 

Whether in Pine Brook or Del Boca Vista, we’ve made this meal together many times – it reminds me of family, love, and home. If you cook this dish with your mom, make sure Frank Sinatra plays in the background as you dance around the kitchen… Ol' Blue Eyes makes it taste better.

And now, without further ado, I give you...

THE BEST EGGPLANT PARM YOU'LL EVER EAT

TIME:
If this doesn't take about 6 hours, you didn't do it right

SERVES:
9-12 portions

INGREDIENTS:
For the fried eggplant:

• 6 medium eggplants
• Kosher salt
• 4C seasoned breadcrumbs
• Locatelli pecorino romano grated cheese
• 5-6 eggs
• 1 large brick of Polly-O whole milk mozzarella cheese
• Olive oil

For the Sunday gravy:

• 4 cans of Tuttorosso tomato puree
• 2 cans of Tuttorosso crushed tomatoes
• 2 cans of Contadina tomato paste
• 1 package of 3-way ground beef, pork, and veal
• 1 package of sweet Italian sausage
• 1 package of braciole (super thin flank steak)
• 1 package boneless pork spare ribs 
• 2 sticks of Hormel pepperoni
• 4C seasoned bread crumbs
• Locatelli pecorino romano grated cheese
• 2-3 eggs
• Polaner minced garlic
• Italian flat leaf parsley
• Olive oil
• Salt & pepper

DIRECTIONS:

1. The first thing you should know is that we don't measure anything.  It's all by taste and by the look of it. We improvise, and so should you...
2. Most people who think they don't like eggplant say it's because it's bitter and seedy.  That's because it wasn't made right.  To avoid that, first peel the eggplants with a vegetable peeler.  Then slice them about a 1/2 inch thick. Next, find a big grill pan and start lining it with layers of sliced eggplant.  After each layer, give a liberal toss of the kosher salt.  Once they're all on there, top it with an upside-down sheet pan and place some cookbooks or a cast-iron pot on top to weigh it down. This is THE most important step, as it will draw out the bitterness and pack down the seeds.  Liquid will accumulate in the grooves of the grill pan, so do this by the sink, so you can easily dump it.  Keep it like that for about an hour.
3. While your eggplant slices are busy "juicing," you can prepare the gravy (aka the red sauce).  We use this gravy for eggplant, lasagna, baked ziti, chicken parm -- you name it.  Pour the 6 cans of crushed and pureed tomatoes into a large pot and keep it on a back burner.  Fill one empty can about halfway with water and swirl it around to get all the bits off the bottom and the sides.  Pour that water from can to can, until you've got it all.  Then dump that tomatoey water into the pot too.  For thinner gravy, add a little more water.  Season with salt and pepper.  Bring it up to a boil then reduce to low, stirring occasionally to keep the bottom from burning.
4. Since the pepperoni is already cooked, cut it into chunks, about 3-4 inches long, and put them in the gravy.  They will plump up and absorb the tomato sauce while cooking to become the most delicious pepperoni you ever had.
5. Next it's time to deal with the uncooked meats.  We don't put uncooked meats into the gravy.  That's a big no-no.  So fill a pan about a 1/2 inch deep with olive oil.  Don't use extra virgin here, it's a waste.  Any brand of regular is fine, go with what's on sale because you'll use a lot of it.  The sausage and boneless ribs can cook just as they are, from the package right into the oil, on medium heat.  Turn them often to brown on all sides and use tongs so you don't lose all the juices in the sausage.  Once they're cooked, set them aside until all the meats are ready to take a soak in the gravy.
6. Now, it's meatball time.  If you have an issue with veal or pork, you can just use all ground beef.  Put the meat in a large bowl.  Sprinkle on some grated cheese and breadcrumbs, add some chopped parsley, salt, pepper, and 2 of the eggs.  Then stick your hands in there and mush it all together.  This is the part I like the least, so my mom does it.  Make sure you take your jewelry off!  If the meat feels dry, add another egg.  If it's too moist, add more cheese and breadcrumbs.  Form them into balls and pop them into the olive oil for frying on a medium heat.  Keep adding oil as needed, and set aside the cooked meatballs.
7. Last up for the meats is the braciole.  Take the thin flank steak and spread it with the minced garlic, then sprinkle grated cheese, and more chopped parsley.  Cut the meat into slices and roll each slice up.  Tie the rolls at each end with kitchen string or butcher's twine, like a little bundle, to keep all the filling inside.  Then, pop those into the oil too, turning until browned, and set aside once cooked. Keep the strings on for now, but remember to take them off when it's time to eat!
8. Once all the meat is done, we make the roux.  This is NOT the traditional white flour and butter mixture, but it IS still used for thickening.  And it's key to the flavor and texture of the gravy. Take the pan you used to cook the meats, and add 1 can of tomato paste and a handful of grated cheese.  Stir this around on medium/high heat, to help incorporate what's left of the cooked oil and meat drippings into the tomato paste.  Add more tomato paste and cheese until all the liquids are fully absorbed.  Keep stirring this thick paste constantly until it starts turning a bit darker.  When it's done, add the roux to the gravy pot.  While you're at it add about a spoonful of garlic, too.  More or less, if you like.
9. Now it's time to get the meats into the gravy pot.  Stir it one last time before adding the meat, because it will be difficult to stir afterwards.  Cut the sausages to allow the juices to run into the gravy, then add this and the rest of the meats to the pot.  The pepperoni should already be looking plumper by now, from sitting in the gravy all this time.  If it's getting crowded, use 2 gravy pots!  But keep a mix of the meats in each, and keep the heat on low. 
10. Tired yet?  If so, you can do the whole meat & gravy piece the day before and just keep it in the fridge until you are ready to assemble the eggplant parm.
11. Ok, back to the eggplant.  By now, all the bitterness will be gone and it's time to fry those babies up.  Grab 2 shallow bowls and a plate.  In the first bowl, crack a couple eggs and stir them around until the whites and the yolks are incorporated.  In the second bowl, add the seasoned breadcrumbs and stir in some grated cheese.  First dip each piece of sliced eggplant in the egg, then toss them in the breadcrumb mix, and set them aside on the plate, fully coated.  Keep doing that until you're done, adding more egg or breadcrumbs/cheese to the bowls whenever needed.
12. Fill a new pan with oil, about 1/4 an inch high, and start frying the eggplant.  Flip them to cook on both sides, use a fork or tongs, but be careful not to pull the breading off.  Use 2 pans to move things along more quickly, if you want.  Keep an eye on them, they don't take too long to cook.  When browned on both sides, put the fried eggplant on a dish or tray lined with paper towels to soak up any excess olive oil.  (And munch on a few, just to make sure they're good.) 
13. Go back to the gravy pot(s).  By now, the meats have had a good long soak.  Pull out all the meat, and a little gravy to keep the meats from drying out, into an oven-safe dish so it's easy to heat up.  Having the meat out of the way will make it easier to ladle the gravy. 
14. The time has FINALLY come to assemble everything.  Grab a Pyrex baking dish.  Really any size works, you could use 2 small square dishes, or 1 large rectangular one.  Now's also a good time to grate the mozzarella cheese.  You'll be tempted to use a bag of the pre-shredded cheese, but it's worth shredding it yourself because it melts so much better.
15. Pour a few ladles of gravy into the baking dish and spread it around to coat the whole bottom.  Then start a layer of eggplant slices.  It's better to overlap if they don't fit exactly, than to leave gaps.  Top that with a good sprinkling of the shredded mozzarella.  Top that with a few more ladles of gravy.  Keep going, layer by layer, until you reach the top.  For the top layer, do it in reverse, first gravy, then cheese -- make sure the gravy covers everything, then sprinkle a little mozzarella and grated pecorino romano across the top as a finishing touch.
16. Bake all of this in a 350 degree pre-heated oven.  Everything is already cooked, but you want the flavors to blend and the cheeses to melt.  It will take about 30 minutes or so until the sides start to bubble and brown.  Then you know it's done.
17. It's super easy (by comparison) to serve this up with some baked ziti, or even plain macaroni in gravy, but it also stands on its own.  Serve the meats on the side with a nice salad and some bread.
18. By now, everyone in the house will be bugging you to ask when dinner will be done.  Make them set the table to feel like they are helping.  If you can stand it, let the eggplant cool for a few minutes before slicing and it will come out more easily.  If not, just dig in, your stomach won't know the difference. 
19. Mangia!
20. Keep in mind, as good as this tastes now, it gets even better as left-overs the next day.

I know this sounds like a lot of work -- and it is -- but it's worth it.  This is probably the first time this recipe has been written down, and certainly the first time it's ever been posted to the Internet.  I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. 

To my mom, my sister-in-law, my college roommates, and all the other great moms reading this, Happy Mother's Day!  May you always have an eggplant parm in the oven, a table full of loved ones, and someone ELSE to wash the dishes!


tags: family, food, holidays