It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

So, I've become that girl who watches holiday movies on Hallmark starting in October.  They're cute and quaint and comfortably predictable, like putting on that cozy Christmas sweater and sipping on a hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.

(I still do both those things, btw, even though I live in FL now and it's 70 degrees outside.)

And while I do love these cookie-cutter festive films that run 24/7 on cable, no December is complete without the true classics.  

I'm talking, of course, about my Top 12 Christmas Movies of All Time.

It was tough to narrow it down, but I've made my list and checked it twice.  I promise these are full of sugar, spice and everything nice...

Curl up on the couch and let the streaming begin!

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

Why it sleighs: A lovely tale that puts Kris Kringle on trial to prove Santa is real, winning the hearts of the court, Macy's customers, and a very skeptical six year old. 

The Bishop's Wife (1947)

Why it sleighs: Cary Grant is a suave angel named Dudley, performing much-needed miracles for a bishop and his new church, but the biggest miracle of all has to be that his wife doesn't fall in love instantly and fly off with him.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Why it sleighs: A feel-good stop-motion masterpiece featuring Hermie the Misfit Elf who longs to be a dentist and Rudolf who can't play in any reindeer games because of his big red honker. This sweet story is all about embracing what makes each of us special.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

Why it sleighs: In the only acceptable version of this yuletide yarn, a small-hearted Christmas crank and his rein-dog Max learn the true meaning of the holiday from the Whos down in Whoville and Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two).

The Year Without Santa Claus (1974)

Why it sleighs: Sure Santa's under the weather and may not make his annual toy trip around the globe, but the breakout stars of this Rankin-Bass classic are the Brothers Miser -- Heat and Snow -- with one of the greatest song and dance numbers of the season. 

Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (1977)

Why it sleighs: The Riverbottom Nightmare Band rocks in this hidden gem from Jim Henson. And Emmet and Ma Otter will steal your heart quicker than they'll put a hole in your washtub.

A Christmas Story (1983)

Why it sleighs: All Ralphie wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder air rifle, and all he gets is agita. You'll shoot your eye out if you don't see it at least once this season.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Why it sleighs: Every attempt to have the perfect family Christmas is foiled as befuddled Clark Griswold is visited by his outlaw inlaws, he can't get his over-the-top decorations to light and he gets enrolled in the Jelly of the Month Club in lieu of a luxurious swimming pool. Most of this is as crass as Cousin Eddie but the warmth is pure John Hughes.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Why it sleighs: A Muppetty twist on the Dickens holiday tale, every scene and song is a delight, and Michael Caine makes the best Scrooge ever (fight me if you disagree -- bah humbug!).

Elf (2003)

Why it sleighs: A narwal bids Buddy the Elf farewell as he walks from his home in The North Pole to New York City via the Lincoln Tunnel in search of his dad and the four food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

Love, Actually (2003)

Why it sleighs: To me, you are perfect. Nine holiday stories intertwine with one thing in common: Love. 

The Holiday (2006)

Why it sleighs: Two words: Jude. Law. Mr. Napkinhead is pretty dreamy in this cross-continental house-swapping rom com. 

Finally, Ho Ho Honorable mention goes to this newbie:

Spirited (2022)

Why it sleighs: Good afternoon! This modern musical spin on A Christmas Carol is jam-packed with jokes and campy, catchy songs. They just look like they had fun making it, which makes it just as fun to watch.

Am I missing your faves? List them below.... unless it is It's a Wonderful Life.  That one stinks, stank, stunk!

Fourteen

What do Amy Winehouse the singer, Katie Lee the chef, Nas the rapper, Robert Herjavec the millionaire from Shark Tank, and this blog have in common?

They were all born on September 14th, of course!

If my blog were my kid, she'd be a freshman (freshwoman? freshperson? I dunno.) in high school by now. 

Can you believe it?  Do you still read it?

Probably not, considering how infrequently I write it.  

But for the true fans (aka my blood relatives) that still do pop in periodically, I know I haven't done an anniversary post in a couple years.  

You know why.

Let's fix that today!  So, as we've done in 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019, let's take a look back at the past THREE years.

Total Posts I've Written (including this one):
341

Average Number of Posts I Write Per Month:
0.6 (DOWN from 0.7 last time -- must do better!)

Average Number of Unique Visitors Per Month:
398 (DOWN from 526 last time -- I blame the pandemic, and the fact that I never write anything new)

Average Pageviews Per Month:
2,005 (DOWN from 2,981 last year)

Most Traffic Comes From:
Tie between Google and Pinterest

Most-Read Blog Posts in the Past Three Years:

2020: Day 60

2021: Never Forget & Bye Bye Boken (tie)

2022: Enough

Most-Read Blog Posts Ever (in order of popularity):
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Pinterest (December 2012)
Which Christmas Cookie Are You? (December 2015)
A Gluten-Free Holiday Feast (December 2014)
Farewell, Crawleys (March 2016)
Dear Stores that Close on Thanksgiving (November 2015)
Grease Is the Word (January 2016)
Election Eve (November 2016)
Freedom (July 2016)

To Date or Not to Date (October 2008)
20 Apps I Adore (January 2012)

Posts Nobody Gave a Crap About:
2020: My Corona

2021: Dear 2021

2022: Happy Birthday, George Jetson

Most Comments:
Ummm, nobody comments anymore... better luck next year!

Most Popular Poll:
I didn't do any this year.  Poo.
Up in the Air (all-time)

Most Frequently-Used Tag for the Posts I Write:
It used to be Pop Culture

Now it's Rants (a sign of the times?)

Most Popular Search by Visitors:
Dating

Lastly, My Favorite Posts I've Written in the Past Three Years (tie):

2020: 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mom Spent 5 Weeks in ICU

2021: Two Truths and a Lie

2022: The Last Time & Dear 1800-FLOWERS


So, there you have it.  A look back to remind myself -- and hopefully you -- that I really do love this blog.  I am still writing about TV shows when the mood strikes, but this one has a special place in my heart.

And finally, if the frosted chocolate cake above looks delicious to you, here's how you can make it. 

For me.

Thanks (as always) for reading!

Happy Birthday, George Jetson

The Internet was all abuzz that futuristic cartoon father, George Jetson, was born today. Here's how the math works:

    1962 (the year The Jetsons first aired)
    + 100 (the number of years in the future) 
    = 2062 (the year show was set) 

    - 40 (the age George is when the show starts)
    = 2022 (the year George was born)

I'm not sure how the day came to be July 31st, but the Internet says it's true so it must be, right? 

Of course, 90% of TikTok doesn't know who he is, but I loved this show as a kid. Meet George Jetson, his boy Elroy, daughter Judy and Jane his wife! All swirling in a shiny world full of talking robots and cars flying high above the clouds.  

It was a trip, and I was along for the intergalactic ride.

There were only 24 cosmic episodes in the original run, and it was ABC's first show in color.  But looking back, those crazy kids at Hanna-Barbera were really on to something with this fantasy. In fact, they predicted a whole bunch of genius things that we all use today -- and can't live without.

The future is now, my friends!

Check this out -- 13 times The Jetsons were right...

House Cleaning Robots

Flat Screen TVs

Digital Newspapers

Video Conferences

Smart Watches

Talking Alarm Clocks

Electric Toothbrushes

Telehealth Visits

Drones

Electric Scooters

Self-Driving Cars

Doggie Treadmills

Space Tourism

Now, if they would just invent the Food-a-Rac-a-Cycle that cooks all your meals to order. Or better yet, that button you press that folds up the dinner table -- food, dirty dishes and all -- so you don't have to clean up, I'd be in heaven!

Hey, Elon Musk, once you're done with electric cars and space ships, please get on this...

Enough

Mass shootings.  I haven't written about this topic for 10 years.  

I try to keep it pretty light around here, but sometimes I have to talk about the heavy stuff. Like in 2012, when I wrote about the massacre at Sandy Hook.  Since then, countless others have lost their lives and loves to senseless violence.

Today's mass shooting hit particularly close to home. 

It was in Highland Park, IL, a quiet suburb of Chicago where my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew live.  I thank God that they are here in Florida right now, away from the madness, but they easily could have been at the July 4th parade on Main Street in their hometown.

When did going to a PARADE become a life or death decision?

The news that's been coming out all day is devastating.  So many innocent people are hurting.  And I feel that.  But I'm mad, too. It's been 23 YEARS since Colombine in '99, and yet here we are -- another young man with a gun decides to unleash his rage on an unsuspecting community of sitting ducks. 

How?

WHY?

And what the eff is wrong with our leaders that they can't -- or won't -- address these unthinkable events that occur with horrifying regularity?

Look, I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do know this: The solution is not one-note.  

Ban all assault weapons? Sure, semi-automatic rifles are definitely part of this problem, but as I said 10 years ago, a ban will really only affect the law-abiders among us.  Criminals will still do whatever they want. That's what they do -- they're criminals.

Mental health is another component of this, no doubt -- the destigmatization of mental illness, access to help, real resources for family and friends, and early detection of warning signs before tragedy strikes are all needed.

But if we're being honest, access to weapons and unchecked mental health issues have been around for DECADES, if not centuries, right? Why is this boiling over in the 21st?  What's so different about the time we live in now?  

I think the answer is the Internet.

It is the most powerful invention of my lifetime, putting the world quite literally in the palm of our hands. It has the capacity to do wonderous things, to connect people, to know everything -- the possibilities are limitless.  I mean, I've made a living doing all things digital for the past 20+ years, so I obviously love it. 

But as we all know, there is also a very dark side to the Internet. And I think THAT is the biggest factor as to why we've seen a sickening surge in mass shootings since it came to be.

To me, there are 3 reasons the Internet is the tipping point for all this death and destruction:

• Easy Access. Access to information on how to do horrible things. Access to others who share your warped views.  Access to places that sell questionable and dangerous items which can be used to do harm.  Access to videos and games that help you simulate the terrible act you're about to commit. Anything or anyone is just a click away. 

• Instant Notoriety. Mix a 24-hour news cycle that craves fresh content with the social media like-cycle (and the dopamine hit you get when something goes viral), and you've got a recipe for disaster -- especially for someone who feels wronged, dismissed, or overlooked by society. 

• Emotional Detachment. The Internet is a place to connect AND disconnect.  So keyboard warriors can say hurtful things they'd never say to someone's face, or gamers can slaughter hundreds for sport. We've created a generation that can do and say sick things online and never blink an eye. Is it that much of a leap that this mindset extends to real life?

Our leaders -- ALL of them over the past 20+ years -- have failed us at every opportunity to seriously address this epidemic. Since technology helped us get into this mess, let's use it to help us get out.

Here are 2 ideas:

• Monitor the Internet. There are LOADS of red flags uncovered in someone's digital footprint AFTER they've done something unthinkable. Social media manifestos. email threats and dangerous search histories abound in a predictable pattern of behavior that leads up to these heinous acts. What if we got ahead of that to prevent it from happening in the first place? If we can flag Covid misinformation, surely we can do this.

• Install Listening Devices. If Alexa can listen for your favorite song, and Siri can call your mom, imagine if these devices existed in schools, churches, temples and other vulnerable places? It wouldn't require a child crouching in a closet to call 911 on their cell phone, the room would already be listening for cries for help and gunshots to automatically alert the authorities and send help immediately. Are YOU listening Google, Facebook and Apple?

Is this controversial?  Yes. Is it a slippery slope?  Maybe.  But what we've been doing isn't working. 

I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I know we need to do something different.  Now.

Enough is enough.

Dear 1800-FLOWERS

Sunday is Mother's Day. But, you already knew that.

 

It's probably a pretty huge holiday for you, right?

After all, not everybody celebrates Christmas.  And birthdays come just once a year.  But everybody has, or had, a mom. And all us kids, no matter how big or small, like to show our love with cards and gifts and brunches and flowers and... berries.

Like millions of others, I went online the other day to order something special for my mom. And I stumbled upon your company, Shari's Berries. 

"Send a smile," they said!

That sounds nice, right? So I ordered a dozen chocolate covered strawberries and 9 strawberry cheesecake bites, pictured here.

Plump, juicy strawberries with creamy cheesecake bites, both covered in chocolate, all for the bargain price of $114.46.  I know you're not taking advantage of this holiday at all.  Besides, mom's worth it.  And it looks so yummy, she's absolutely going to love it, right? 

Wrong.

My gift was scheduled to arrive today.  At 6:30pm I received an email from you that a delivery attempt was made but no one was home.  Huh.  We were, in fact, home and nobody ever knocked on the door.  So I called customer service and spoke to a women who told me to ignore this message, that the driver was in my area and would be here soon.

Hooray!  I was relieved.  But I bet YOU can guess what happened next...

No one ever arrived. 

So, I called you again at about 7:45pm and spoke to another representative.  She told me that my order was now scheduled for delivery tomorrow, and I told her that was an issue.  

I specifically chose delivery TODAY because we were not going to be home tomorrow.  And since this was a perishable order that sat on a delivery van all day, I wasn't sure if it would even be good when it finally was redelivered.  She apologized and told me she would credit my card for the full order and I would receive an email after our call confirming this. 

I never received an email.  Shocker.

Instead, what we got was someone ringing our doorbell at 11:30pm to deliver a warm, crushed box of strawberries and cheesecake.  

Let me repeat that: SOMEONE RINGING OUR DOORBELL AT 11:30PM.

Talk about a shocker!  When I answered the door and told the delivery man that it was REALLY inappropriate to make deliveries at this hour, he told me they were very busy with Mother's Day.  Then he wanted to take a picture! 

I slammed the door in his face.

To say a delivery at this hour, with a beat up box, is unacceptable is an understatement. Who do you hire to deliver these gifts?  It is frightening to have someone standing outside your front door in the dark at almost MIDNIGHT!

And what the hell happened to these puny, melted, smashed up berries on the way to our house?

I don't even care anymore.  Thanks for nothing, except a mild heart attack that almost wiped out my whole family. I will NEVER shop at Shari's Berries -- or any of your brands -- ever again.  

And that's too bad for you, because I don't think twice about buying your grossly overpriced yet totally mediocre flowers and gifts. 

I'll be contacting you at a decent hour for a full and immediate refund and to report this shop for their poor judgement and terrible service.

Please see the photos below and change your name to 1800-FAILURE.
Jen

The Last Time

The pandemic officially started two years ago for me, and I suspect for many of you as well. This was the night we decided to keep our teams home from work for 2 weeks to "flatten the curve." 

Who knew 2 weeks could become 2 years for some?

It's also the night I cancelled a flight to Florida to visit my parents.

Who knew we would be living here together now?

Lots of unexpected things have happened to all of us over the past 2 years -- some tragedies, some triumphs.  I think the history books (websites? holograms?) will look back at this time and people will be in awe of how we made it through.  

Kinda like how we look at The Plague or The Great Depression.

I remember buying this cookie at Kings, the grocery store in my building in Hoboken, on New Year's Day. It's like everything hopeful I was feeling about the dawn of a new decade was written in sugar and wrapped with curly ribbon. 

Placing this colorful cookie in my little green basket, I was blissfully unaware that the world was about to do a 180 -- and that 2020 would go down as one of the worst years ever.

Being home alone for months was awful.  Kevin McAllister made it look way more fun.

Fast forward to today. 

I'm fortunate to be back to work in an office doing a job I love, in a new state with my family. Life is quite different now, but better in many ways.  

There are days that I forget everything that happened these past few years. But on days like today, I find myself thinking about the things I loved to do -- travel, see friends, go to the movies, shop. All things that I haven't done in more than 2 years...

Jan 4, 2020 - My last leisurely trip to Target.
I think I spent an hour wandering around, buying things I really didn't need. Those were the days!

Feb 1, 2020 - My last work trip.
I traveled a lot.  Here we were in LA hosting an outdoor conference on women's health. We had fun.

Feb 21, 2020 - My last dinner with my childhood friends.
We went for Italian in Jersey, we laughed all night and shut the place down. Miss these girls.

Feb 22, 2020 - My last dinner with my college friends.
We were in Connecticut. More food, more laughs, more missing my girls.

Feb 29, 2020 - My last time in Chicago & last movie.
Leap Day! I visited my niece & nephew for his 8th birthday and we went to see Sonic. It was terrible but the company was great. Luckily I've seen these cuties in FL several times since this pic was taken, but dear Lord, let this not be the last movie I ever see in a theater.

Mar 4, 2020 - My last week in my midtown NYC office.

One of my good friends always made funny videos -- this is us in the elevator leaving work for the night, probably after 8pm. I miss her terribly too. I don't miss leaving work at that hour.

Here's hoping we all see the people and places we love again very soon!

Covid, I Hate You

Both figuratively and literally, I am sick and tired.

For TWO YEARS, we masked, and we vaxxed (3X!!), and we distanced, and we washed, and we disinfected, and we stayed home, and we stayed away, and yet...

My parents and I tested positive for Covid last week.

And it's not the asymptomatic kind that you never know you have.  OH NO!  We're coughing and sneezing, there are headaches and dizziness, congestion and tummy troubles, we can't sleep and food tastes weird.  

And the ANXIETY!  What does that ache mean?  Will this get worse?  When will it go away?

I'm told I should be thankful that because we're vaccinated it's not "that bad." Really?? Is that the best we can do?  Yes, we're home and not in a hospital -- and sure, that's obviously good. But it's not enough! Not for all the sacrifices we, and millions of others, have made. 

No!

Get vaccinated to be protected, they said.  Wear a mask to be responsible, they said. It's not safe to travel or gather or shop or eat or laugh or BREATHE outside your house, they said.

We did ALL the things. And yet, here we are.

Covid, I hate you.

I wish we never met.  And I hope we never, ever meet again.

Beat it!
Jen