Archives by Year: 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts

8/13/2016

Put Me in Coach

As I type this I'm sitting on a plane watching the Olympics.

Tennis.  Men's singles.  Nadal vs Del Potro. Nadal is winning. Maybe.  More on that later...

I think the Rio Olympics are coming at an interesting time.  Right now, we really need something to unite us as Americans -- to forget our differences, cheer for Team USA athletes (and their moms), and avoid mosquitos carrying the Zika virus.

Now, I don't consider myself a particularly sporty person. (What?!?  It's true. I don't like to sweat.)  But a little known fact about me: I've actually played FIVE legit sports in my life.

And no, I do not count competitive TV watching among them.


It all started with GYMNASTICS in the 3rd grade. That was very shortlived.  I loved the bodysuits and pigtails.  Who wouldn't? But gravity is a tough opponent. No matter what they tried, nobody could teach me to do a cartwheel, much less a back handspring.

I was more or a summersault kind of gal.  I don't think they give medals for that.







Then came SOFTBALL.  I was in the 4th grade and we just moved to good old Pine Brook.  My mom signed me up at the community center and my dad volunteered to be the coach.  I have no idea how he did it, being that he worked in NYC and all our games started at 4pm.  But that 100% explains how I played 2nd base for 4 years.

Yep.  Jackie Robinson.  Willie Randolph. And me.

This pic here shows our amazing uniform. We were nicknamed the Golddiggers, but not in a Kanye way.  More like we missed every ball that came our way.  My dad assumed it was because we were busy digging for gold in the outfield.




Once I realized I was wasn't turning pro, I switched gears to TENNIS.  My childhood best friend and I took lessons the summer after Freshman and Sophomore years  at a local country club where her family belonged. I'm pretty sure it was the basis for Red Oaks.  I remember everything about it -- my Tretorns, my brown Wilson racquet with the rainbow grip, my vast collection of Polo shirts.  What I do NOT remember is how to keep score.  Which is why I'm lost watching the Olympics right now.

Truth is, I was distracted by 2 boys -- brothers -- who we had crushes on.  I couldn't serve to save my life, but I had a decent backhand.  At least that's what our (paid) instructor told me.



Next up was FIELD HOCKEY.  I played an entire summer clinic before Junior year started. In the boiling heat.  I remember the skill drills, and the Indian sprints (though I'm guessing they're called something different now).  This was actually a sport I was good at!  Hockey spoke to my competitive nature.  Plus the uniforms were adorbs.  Two words: Plaid skirts.

I played a position called sweeper.  I even made the team! But it wasn't meant to be.  My hand got smashed between some sticks one day in early September during a scrimmage while we were fighting for the ball and I got nervous I would never have a career as an artist.  Ha.

So I quit.  But luckily, I still retained the benefit of never having to participate in gym class again for the remainder of my time as a Montville Mustang.


I laid low on the athletic scene until Sophomore year in college when I decided to try CHEERLEADING.  Think that's not a sport?  Watch Bring it On and get back to me. (Of course, I can't do any of those tricks, but I'm peppy. And strong!)

My roommate and I made a deal, I wanted to go out for the radio station and she wanted cheering, so we did both.  She was a Mighty Hornet cheerleader from a neighboring high school, and I was a cheerleader for the Montville Broncos in the 5th grade (see evidence above).  I would draw from that formative experience.

So, we tried out and made the team!  Cheerleaders for women's basketball... talk about depressing.  But very early in the season we got a lucky break.

The hot, pyramid-making, toss-them-in-the-air tiny cheerleaders for the men's basketball team did something to piss the athletic dept off and they kicked them all off the squad.  This left a glorioius opening for us to cheer for -- and travel with -- the men's basketball team.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

We partied with our mascot, The Stag (now lamely called Lucas).  We even cheered on the floor of Madison Square Garden!  That was fun.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't very good at this either, which is why I did it for only 1 year and did the radio station for 3.  But I did like the white uniforms.

I sense a trend here...

So, what have we learned?  Rallying together behind America -- good.  Zika virus -- bad.  Sports and me -- not a winning combination.

But at least I looked cute doing them.

So, were YOU an all-star athlete?  A benchwarmer?  A facepainter?  Share your stats below...


tags: jersey, sports

2/05/2015

Super Bowl Ad Showdown

It's been a while, huh?  Happy 2015!

Sorry I haven't blogged in ages.  I've been busy practicing urban bee-keeping.

Who am I kidding?  I can't even keep a plant alive.  (No, seriously, my aunt gave me a ficus a few weeks ago and already it's on death's door.)

What I've really been busy doing is working.  And watching TV.  And working.

Well, as luck would have it, the Super Bowl is where my love of work and TV collide.  I guess the game was exciting, but as always, I'm in it for the commercials.  And the snacks.

Most brands release their commercials in advance, so on the Friday before the game, we gathered with a great bunch of teenage girls around a Snackadium and asked them to watch a few ads for the way women were depicted in them.  But little did we know this would be the year of the Super Sentimental Bowl.  Paying for hamburgers with hugs?  Check.  Crying dads in cars?  Check.  Cat's in the Cradle?  Check.  Puppies?  Of course!

I didn't know whether to throw a flag or a hankie.  None of those made my list.

Here are my faves from SB49:

Funniest Commercial: "Very Brady" by Snickers



Sexiest Commercial: "Little Blue Pill" by Fiat



Best Use of Celebrities: "Invisible Mindy" by Nationwide



Best Commercial I've Seen Before: "#LikeaGirl" by Always



 Best Commercial That Never Aired: "Angels Play Football" by Victoria's Secret



Most Depressing Commercial Ever In the History of Advertising: "Make Safe Happen" by Nationwide



Best Video of Teens Reviewing Commercials (because I made it)



Agree?  Disagree?  Are you still reading?  Tell me all about it below...


tags: commercials, holidays, sports, work


2/02/2013

The Brother Bowl

The Super Bowl is my 3rd most favorite holiday of the year. 

The 1st is my birthday, obvi because of the presents. 

The 2nd is Christmas, again... presents. 

But the big game slides right in at a respectable 3rd, beating out all other stuff-your-face holidays (Thanksgiving, I'm talking to YOU) because it has one critical element at the heart of it all.

Television!

Oh, how I love TV.  And I love snacks.  And I love commercials.  Did I mention I love TV?

With Super Bowl XLVII and Downton Abbey going head-to-head on Sunday night, I’m torn about which way to turn. Kinda like Jack & Jackie Harbaugh.

I’ll prob watch the game and DVR Downton. (As for the Harbaughs… good luck with that.)

I typically spend Super Bowl Sunday with my brother and his family. We dress up in our Giants gear -- even if they're not playing.  The party kicks off around noon and it’s an all day event.

You’ve got to pace yourself.  Bragging rights are on the line -- who made the best chili, who’s winning the football pool, who can eat the most Cheetos at once, who’s taller. (My bro wins that one by a mile.  Seriously, a mile. He is THAT tall.)

This year, they’re in their new hometown outside Chicago. Even if I trash-text instead of trash-talk, and mock their horrible pizza AND the Bears while eating a delicious, NY-style, Italian cold-cut "sangwitch," the game just won’t be the same!

I'll miss them a ton.  Thank God for snacks.

Since the Hot Wing Bandit recently made off with $65K worth of chicken wings, you may be wondering what to feast on come game day.

May I suggest a 100% Dip Super Bowl Party?

Let’s face it, the wings may get all the glory, but the dips are really everyone’s MVP.  Or maybe that’s just me.  Whatever.

Whether you’re rooting for the Ravens, the 49ers, or the Pepto Bismol you will undoubtedly need on Monday morning, here are a dozen dips to indulge in:



Caramelized Onion & Shallot Dip from Bon Appetit
Scoop with: potato chips


Jalapeno Popper Dip from Brown-Eyed Baker
Scoop with: corn chips


Hot Crab Dip from Chow
Scoop with: crackers


Loaded Baked Potato Dip from Closet Cooking
Scoop with: potato chips


Rick Bayless' Guacamole with Bacon from Epicurious
Scoop with: tortilla chips


Guy Fieri's Pepperoni Pizza Dip from Food Network
Scoop with: garlic bread


Spinach Artichoke Dip from Gimme Some Oven
Scoop with: pita chips


Queso Fundito with Chorizo from Gourmet
Scoop with: corn chips


Bacon Scallion Hummus from Just a Taste
Scoop with: pita chips



Mexican Layer Dip from the Pioneer Woman
Scoop with: tortilla chips


Gooey Cheeseburger Dip from Serious Eats
Scoop with: crackers


Hot & Spicy Buffalo Shrimp Dip from Skinnytaste
Scoop with: celery


So is an all-dip Super Bowl party a fumble or a... field goal?  What's YOUR favorite dip?  

Serve it up in the comments below...


tags: entertainment, food, sports

7/31/2012

Going for Gold

I can’t get into the Olympics.

There, I said it.

I know, I know!  I should feel SOME Team USA pride, and on a macro level, of course, I do!

But on an everyday basis, I know more about the scandals than I do about the scores. Like the Ralph Lauren team uniform brouhaha. And the sea of empty seats in the stadiums. And the Queen Mum’s preoccupation with her fingernails during the opening ceremony. And the fact that NBC’s broadcast delays, spoilers, and idiotic commentary has everyone in an uproar (#nbcfail).

Now, I know I’m not the sportiest gal you ever met, but I did think I had a handle on the types of competitions that were worthy of this world stage.

I was wrong.

Can someone PLEASE explain when Badminton and Trampoline became Olympic sports?

Every block in America has that house with a trampoline in the yard. It's right next store to the house with burn marks on the garage from a deep-fried turkey, down the street from the one with a hole in the roof from wayward DIY fireworks.

The everyday appeal of “sports” like Badminton and Trampoline have inspired me to develop my own list of competitions that I could do around the house. 

Olympics Selection Committee, are you listening?

I know I could bring home a bronze, silver, or gold medal with these beauties:

Competitive Gift Wrapping
Qualifications: If you’ve ever received a gift from me, you know.


Parallel Parking
Qualifications: I’m an excellent driver, and I say that without the slightest trace of irony.


DVR Programming
Qualifications: My DVR is a symphony of carefully orchestrated network and cable television shows.

Googling
Qualifications: I'm an ugly typist but I can find anything in 30 seconds flat.


Shower Re-grouting
Qualifications: I love the smell of fresh caulk in the morning.


Fridge Organizing
Qualifications: I believe tastes go together, so the salsa and the strawberry jelly shouldn’t share a shelf.


Laundry Folding
Qualifications: My first high school job was at The Gap – I can fold a tshirt like nobody’s business.


Taxicab Hailing
Qualifications: I can distinguish between an available, taken, off duty, and off duty but might still take you cab.


Slap on a jaunty beret and play along! What Faux-lympic sports would YOU excel in?


tags: sports

2/06/2012

Monday Evening Quarterback

Wait.  Was there a game on last night?!? 

Well, somebody better call Ripley, because I cannot believe this shit.

111.3MM viewers tuned to NBC as the Giants and the Pats battled it out in Super Bowl XLVI, making this the most-watched event ever. Again.

I read someplace last week that the average person planned to spend $65 on drinks, snacks and gear to get in the spirit. I’m pretty sure I spent that on cannolis alone. But that’s nothing compared to the ads.

In total, 70 commercials aired at the bargain price of $3.5MM per :30 spot. That's $116,666.67 per second.

(Recession?  What recession?  Let's sell Doritos.)

We ALL know I’m not remotely qualified to discuss ANY of the game. Not a single play. Even though I watched the whole thing -- from coin toss to confetti drop -- on the edge of my seat, in my Eli Manning long-sleeved t-shirt (because it was too chilly for my Phil Simms short-sleeved t-shirt). 

My sparkly blue nail polish probably sealed my fate. 

What I CAN do, as a self-appointed TV MVP, is judge the commercials. If I was giving out trophies, hands-down the automotive industry drove off with the best ads this year.

Tons of pre-game fanfare with Ferris and Honda. Acura had Seinfeld, Leno, and the Soup Nazi. Volkswagen gave a dog a workout, and then inexplicably tossed Darth Vader in the mix. Audi slayed a ton of vampires with its daytime headlights (nevermind Edward drives a Volvo, and this concept is about 2 years too stale). And Chrysler gave us Halftime in America with leathery cheerleader, Clint Eastwood. He was inspiring (and vaguely Reagan-esque).

Then there was Chevy.

While their Sonic ad left me wanting hamburgers and chili cheese tater tots far more than I wanted this weird little stunt car, I did laugh as their “happy grad” thought he got the best gift ever -- a bright yellow Camaro.

But the Silverado Mayan apocalypse was my favorite of ALL the ads I saw (when I wasn’t too busy snacking or yapping). 

Only Chevys, Twinkies, and Barry Manilow will survive:




On the flip side, my least favorite commercial had to be for Pepsi. Elton John dressed like a chubby, bedazzled king and some X-Factor chick nobody knows?

Well, that sounds like a bulletproof plan to sell soda:



What a fall from the sugar-high set by the galaxy of musical stars that have sold Pepsi products over the years!


Ugh. I can’t end on that note. It’s too lame. Let’s all pretend that we just got a bright yellow Camaro:





Ah, that's better.

Which ads stood out to YOU?  Channel your inner Don Draper and list your fave spots below...


tags: commercials, sports

1/29/2012

Big Blue Wrecking Crew

One week from today, we'll all be huddled around the TV watching the Super Bowl for a night of testosterone-fueled fun.  A Giants fan by birth, I'll be marginally more interested in this game than I am most years, but really I'm in it for one thing.

The snacks.

Field goal, fumble, touchdown, sack, or blitz.  I don't really care, just pass the chips.

My brother and sister-in-law are ordering up some of the old standbys from their local Italian deli -- a 4ft sub, a tray of baked ziti -- and I've been tasked with bringing a mystery dish.  The question is, what to bring?  Savory or sweet? 

I'm a good cook, but I'm not a good baker.  Cooking I like because it's improvisational.  A pinch of this, a dash of that.  Ok, I get it.  But baking is so precise!  If your measurements are off, your cake's a wreck.  And the pitfalls don't stop there -- what you put ON a cake is as important as what you put IN it.

For inspiration, I've turned to Cake Wrecks.  File these in your Big Game baking playbook under "What Not To Bring"...


Are you ready for some FOOBTALL?!?

Wow, this dog is an artist. He poops out footballs!

Home?  Away?  Who cares!  All I know is " You Teaw" is here, and that's enough for me.

When football and Hanukkah collide. Yee haw!  (Oy vey.)

Super Bowel, Go Go Go.  Is that a cheer after you've had too much bean dip?

Keep your hands where I can see them, Cookie. Nobody wants to touch down there.

Here's someone who knows less about football than I do.  They're round, dummy! (Kidding, I know they're square.)

We salute you, Mr. Grocery-Store-Bakery-Cake-Decorator. (Ooooh ooh... tell us how you really feel!)

You know what?  Football IS fabulous!  Go Red Sox!

Are YOU baking up anything special for Sunday? Save me a slice below...


tags: food, sports

11/11/2011

Volunteers

In the continuing saga of things I never do like bowling, Primus, and eating Pringles (actually I do that last one pretty often)…

My dear friend and I spent Sunday at the NYC Marathon alongside 47,107 runners.

I say alongside, because we were amongst the 2 million spectators ALONG the route. I mean, you didn’t think we were running, did you? (Well, actually, SHE probably could run it.  But not me. I’d rather have toothpicks shoved under my toenails.)

We were volunteering at the Hydration Zone on Mile 17, at 1st Ave in the 70s. That meant going to bed at a reasonable hour the night before AND waking up early on Daylight Savings morning.  No extra hour of sleep here!

We really give until it hurts.

When faced with the choice of running 26.2 miles for hours or pouring cups of refreshing water for hours, I’ll pick the pour. Every. Single. Time.

So, while a couple of Kenyans were busy making history, we were being schooled by fellow volunteer, Seth. He was a likeable enough guy. Very excited to be there. Took a lot of pictures, striking the “double thumbs up” pose.

Seth took his hydration volunteerism quite seriously.  And he had three strict rules:
1) Be precise about the amount of water in each cup – 1/3, no more no less.
2) Stack the cups 3-high in a “honeycomb formation” to ensure stability at each level.
3) Thoroughly inspect all cups for dirt, dust, or floating debris of ANY kind before distribution.

It was the last one that was the toughest to enforce. You have NO idea how much crap flies into thousands of water cups that have been sitting out for hours waiting for thirsty runners to whiz by. I was going nuts trying to keep them fresh!

Personally, I felt his standard was too high. If it were me, I'd say, dirt? Ok. Giant leaf? Not ok. Hair?

On the bubble.

Didn’t this guy ever play beer pong in college? There was so much junk floating in those cups I’m amazed we didn’t all get trenchmouth.

Keeping up with The Water Monitor wasn't the only drama on the sidelines. Z-100 was there (and my 12-year-old self was SUPER psyched). PLUS, I watched a sweaty runner man go off-course to propose to his girlfriend. AND I watched a sweaty runner lady go off-course to sit on a stack of boxes. I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing her immediate need for rest was largely due to the strange bone protruding from her shin.

Thankfully, I also avoided seeing the dreaded Poop Leg.  I won't go into the details, but you know it when you see it.  And then you can never erase that image from your brain for the rest of your life. 

Anyway, on our run home (and by run, I mean taxi cab), I felt good knowing I’d pitched in -- gave something back to a city I love (sorta).

In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I think I’d like to hand out new things next year. Tissues! Breath mints! More modest ladies running gear! (Seriously, ladies, cover up.  You can’t possibly chafe if your thighs don’t touch.)

Oh, I know, I'm just jealous.  My thighs rub so much I could burn the crotch out of a suit of armor.

So, to sum up... volunteering is good, Poop Leg is nasty, dirt won't kill you, and I must stop eating Pringles.

Have YOU ever run for fun?  Any distance at all?  List it below and you'll win a cup of water!


tags: city life, sports

11/04/2011

Tonight, We Bowl

I went bowling the other night. I can count on my thumbs the number of times I’ve been bowling in my life.

Now check out this photo. That’s the scoreboard. I’m J Lo, pulling up the rear (insert ass joke here).

And I won.  HA!  Even I can’t believe it.

And no… I wasn’t playing against a bunch of children. Or drunks. Or blind people. Or armless dudes who roll the ball down the lane with their noses. No! They were regular celebrities, like me... J Lo.

We might form a league.

Now, don’t ask me what all the numbers, Xs, dashes, and slashes mean. Might as well be Chinese. I have no clue. I just know I scored 76, which is probably horrible by normal standards but was enough to chalk me up a W with this crowd.

Given the fact that I’ve been bowling 3 whole times now, I’d like to impart 3 shining pearls of Big Lebowski wisdom that will make you want to stitch your name on an unflattering shirt and eat chicken wings without washing your hands:

Tip #1: Bowl granny-style. It isn’t pretty, but it gets the job done.
Tip #2: Believe the ball’s slimy exterior is due to the Purell shower it takes on the journey back to you.
Tip #3: Wear thick socks to protect your feet from rental shoe infestation. Toss socks immediately after.

Is it a sport? I don't know. (I’m sure the Bowlers of America work up a great sweat growing their beer guts and receding hairlines). But it was goodtimes. Except for the weird guy I ran into outside the bathroom. He wanted me to listen to a song, and offered me his headphones. Mmmm. Using someone’s headphones is like using someone’s toothbrush. If we haven’t swapped spit, I want nothing to do with your earwax.

So that was a firm no.  But otherwise, super fun.

Need more convincing? Watch this inspirational video clip from the cinematic treasure, Grease 2:




I think Adrian Zmed may have disinfected my shoes. 

So, fellow natural athletes of pseudo-sports, share below your tales of darts, ping-pong, frisbee, bowling, or golf (which, let's face it, is just rich man's bowling).

Yep, I said it.  Discuss...


tags: sports

7/04/2010

Major League Eating

I’m bored with the World Cup and the stupid vuvuzela. I’m not impressed that George Steinbrenner turned 80 today. And frankly, I don’t care where LeBron James plays.

Yawn.

The ONLY sports story that caught my attention today is Nathan’s 95th annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island. And yes, I do mean sports story -- it was broadcast on ESPN.

Nevermind that I can’t even eat ONE hot dog (a mouthful of mystery meat makes me gag -- I can only stomach the mini kind, and then only with mustard, NEVER ketchup).

I’m in awe of champ Joey “Jaws” Chesnut who gobbled his way to victory by consuming 54 hot dogs PLUS buns in 10 minutes -- that’s about a dog every 10 seconds. After his 4th straight win, he was seen holding the coveted mustard yellow belt in one hand and a bottle of Pepto in the other. And that’s NOTHING compared to his showing last year, where he downed 68 of Nathan's famous franks!

But there was drama in Hotdogville.

His main rival, Japan's Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi got himself arrested for rushing the stage, probably overcome with grief because he couldn’t compete in the event he’d won 6 times. The guy even has a special visa to be in the country because of his skills as a competitive eater.  And as well he should -- The Tsunami holds the record for eating the most cow brains (57 in a mere 15 minutes). 

Yum.

He now sits, hungry, in a Brooklyn jail. Apparently, he was in a contract dispute with Major League Eating so he could not participate in this year's gluttony. The fact that such a regulatory body exists is fascinating. It’s like the junk food NFL. Its website even warns amateurs should not try "speed eating" at home. 

Joey Jaws had his rookie year in 2005, and is now the world’s #1 competitive eater, but I learned there are also 2 women in the top 50 rankings:

Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas comes in at #5.  She is a 41 year old from Alexandria, VA, and is a slender 105 lbs. She’s eaten 552 oysters in 10 minutes, 65 hard boiled eggs in 6 minutes, and 80 chicken nuggets in 5 minutes. She believes the keys to her success are stomach capacity, jaw strength, and hand speed, but admits she needs to work on her "speed of swallow."  She went nearly unbeaten in 2004, if it weren’t for a controversial baked bean eating contest -- hers were too hot. Amazingly she is single.

And "Lovely" Juliet Lee, in at #11, is a 44 year old from Germantown , MD, who mysteriously also weighs 105 lbs. Hmmm.  Somehow this mom of 2 plowed through 7 chicken wings, 1 lb of nachos, 3 hot dogs, 2 personal pizzas and 3 Italian ices in about 7 minutes. She's never vomited, though had a close call after ingesting a world-record-setting 13.2 lbs of cranberry sauce.  As a child in China, she apparently only ate what she could catch on the beach. Especially if it was covered in nacho cheese sauce.

Looks like Sonya and Juliet still need their day jobs, but Joey Jaws earns an estimated $150K per year just from eating contests. I am a big eater too, but all I get is fat.

How many hot dogs did YOU eat today?

1/15/2010

Blogger-In-Law

Happy 2010!

(If you are reading this aloud to friends, that's "twenty-ten" NOT "two-thousand and ten" or the dreaded "twenty-o-ten").

Yes, I’m 15 days late with my New Years greeting. Or maybe... I'm 30 days early! Chinese New Year begins on Feb 14, after all, and I hear it's the year of the tiger.

Roar. Or is it grrrr? Meow? I dunno.

Anyway, since we are at the dawn of a brand-new decade, I resolve to exercise more (no I don't). And eat healthier (nope -- couldn't even keep my 2009 resolution to eat more junk!). And blog more (well, TRY to blog more).

But you know who’s NOT a blogger slacker like me? My brother-in-law-to-be! He just started his own blog. And it’s the perfect antidote to the estrogen-fest happening here. Plus it gets updated MULTIPLE times per day.

I have blog envy.

Now, you may be wondering, how do I know if his blog, The Lighter Side of Sports, is right for me? If you answer “no” to the following questions, I think you’ll enjoy his Sports Center meets The Onion mash-up:

1) Do you like watching the commercials MORE than the actual Super Bowl?
If no, click here. If yes, do not click here.

2) Do you go to a baseball game JUST for the snacks?
If no, click here. If yes, do not click here.

3) When a body check happens on the ice, are you at the AIRPORT in winter?
If no, click here. If yes, you know the drill.

Unfortunately, I DO watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. I’m ALL about the baseball snacks. And I once got body checked in the Calgary airport (let’s just say it wasn’t pretty to be manhandled by a large woman named Shirley).

So I won’t be reading his blog. If anything funny happens, let me know.

(I kid!)

Seriously, check it out if you’re smart. But ONLY if you’re smart. I don’t need a bunch of dummies going over there telling Colin that Jenny sent them...

Any other blogs we should be reading? List them below!

1/29/2009

Super Bowl Snack Poll

I can’t believe I’m blogging about football again.

It’s a sign of the apocalypse.

Anyway, my brother and sister-in-law invited me up to CT this weekend for Super Bowl Sunday festivities. Frankly, I couldn't care less if the Steelers or the Cardinals win -- I’m really just in it for the snacks.

I heard a rumor that my brother's making chili. But I'm not one to arrive empty-handed, so I’d like your advice on what to bring. What would YOU want to eat if I was coming to your house so we could ignore the game, watch the occasional commercial, and stuff our faces?

Vote below!

1/16/2009

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Somewhere, my brother is falling on the floor.

Yes, I am blogging about football. No, it’s not my musings on why the Giants sucked big monkey butt ever since Plaxico shot himself in the leg. This is me, we’re talking about, people! The ONLY way I’m even remotely allowed to speak about the game is when it’s related to a TV show.

Well, a birdie told me that Friday Night Lights came back to regular TV tonight as the Dillon Panthers kicked off season 3. So I tuned in. On a Friday night. Just living the NYC dream. But seriously, how have I NOT been watching this show?? Rookie mistake.

While passing the pigskin really does bore me to tears, a TV show about football is totally entertaining! Since I’m SO late to the game, rather than fumble an FNL Top 5, I decided to list my favorite football movies (and their best lines) instead.

(Did I mention I LOVE football movies? I have many layers. Like a spicy guacamole dip.)

Here goes the coin toss… I call tails:

1) The Last Boy Scout: The Los Angeles Stallions
“Six hundred and fifty dollars? They’re pants. You wear them. They don’t, like, have a TV in them or something?”
“Nope”
“I am very old.”
-- Disgruntled former Secret Service agent, Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis), and disgraced former NFL star, Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), discussing the merits of leather pants

2) Any Given Sunday: The Miami Sharks
“Life's this game of inches, so is football… On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!”
-- Aging head coach, Tony D’Amato (Al Pacino)

3) The Program: Eastern State University
TIE: “Not everybody can play football… we’re the lucky ones.”
-- Juiced up defensive lineman, Steve Lattimer (Andrew Bryniarski)
AND: “Let’s put the women and children to bed and go lookin’ for dinner!”
-- Badass Heisman Trophy candidate, Joe Kane (Craig Sheffer)

4) Lucas: Generic 80's High School Football Team
“Are you interested in wide receivers?”
-- Teenage heartthrob, Cappie (Charlie Sheen)

5) Varsity Blues: The West Canaan Coyotes
“If we go out and half-ass it 'cause we're scared, then we'll always wonder if we were really good enough. But if we go out there and give it all we've got... that's heroic. You guys wanna be heroes?”
-- 2nd string QB, Jonathan “Mox” Moxon (James “Dawson” Van Der Beek)


Ok, I think that’s all I have to say about football. I’m probably good for like, the next 10 years now. So I’ll just leave you with this final nugget of gridiron wisdom:

Play like a champion today.

Are you calling foul on my five? Add your own football faves below!