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I'm in a funk. You know it. I know it. We ALL know it.

I need a change.

About 2 weeks ago, I started the painful process of cancelling our wedding gift registries (more on that below). Nobody wanted their actual gifts back (bad mojo, no doubt), so I kept those. I left some new things behind at his condo -- a BBQ grill, margarita maker, bucket of cookie cutters, everyday dishes. They were all things I'd purchased off our registry myself. For us. And I didn't want to keep the items when I couldn't keep the family I bought them for.

I mean, who wants to sit at home alone and hunker down to a flame-broiled breakup burger on breakup dishes, washed down with a breakup-flavored margarita, followed by a couple of fresh-baked breakup cookies for dessert? No thanks.

The one thing I did return was our china. I adored the pattern. LOVED it. Something totally different, mix and match. Cheerful. Classic. Unique. He swore we would never use it, but I pictured us having holiday dinners and celebrations on these plates for years to come. I had two full place settings (down to the bread and butter plates), and a coffee/tea set from my parents. I hated to do it, but since I will never complete the service for 12, I brought them back to the store and turned my beautiful china into a $400 Coach bag.

Like magic.

That got me to thinking... there are other things I'd like to change over the next few weeks.

Here's my hit list:
1) New cell phone
Mine might as well have his face on it. Every time it rang, buzzed, or dinged, it was generally him. And every time I hear it go off now, it makes me sad because it's anybody BUT him. So I think it's finally time to make the switch. Goodbye Verizon. Hello iPhone.

2) New hair
I used to highlight my hair, but I left it darker lately because I liked the way it looked with his hair. We matched. Ridiculous, I know. So I'm booking a trip to the salon for some summery locks.

3) New ring
One of my best friends bought me a new ring the day I moved my furniture out of his condo. It was to replace the one I "lost," she said, and to remind me to keep my heart open. It was such a touching gesture. For Christmas, I'd given him a man's ring that I used to wear and I'd engraved it with our initials -- I think I'll replace that one too. Possibly with something sparkly.

4) New color palette
My whole house was beiges/browns with bright pops of red. And while all of my stuff sits in storage right now, when I DO eventually unpack, I know I'll need something more soothing than red. Something fresh. Serene. Thinking pale blues and greens.

5) New curtains
These were a HUGE point of contention in the weeks leading into our breakup. Don't ask. I need to set them on fire and start again. Anybody got a match?

6) And obviously, the biggest thing I need is a new address
As comforting as it is to have family willing to take me in, I can't really start to feel like myself again until I'm back in my own home.

Now if only someone would perform a magic trick on my bank account, I could actually BUY all of these things right now.

I didn't invent this concept. A colleague at work said when she broke up with her boyfriend, she went right out and bought a pair of 3-inch heels, after wearing flats for years because he was short. Another friend's sister sold her never-worn wedding dress on eBay and took a vacation.

I think we all need a little magic in times like these. Something new to distract us from what (or who) is no longer there.

It's all an illusion anyway.

And on a side note, if you are ever in the unfortunate position of having to cancel a wedding gift registry, I can say Macy's was incredibly good to deal with, Crate & Barrel was ok, and Bed Bath & Beyond was beyond horrible -- after the in-store people couldn't help me, the customer service agent on the phone had the nerve to ask if I was sure I wanted to cancel, just incase we got back together. Ummm... GFY BBB.

And since Wedding Channel posts your information all over the internet without respect to your privacy and then goes out of its way to make it difficult to contact them when you want to take it down, here's their phone number as well: 877-335-5252.

Thanks, Google. You're pretty magical too.


Anonymous said...

Good! Get some treats. Looks like you're at least doing a bit better. I am starting to see some humor in this post. But 1 question 4 you: what is GFY?

Anonymous said...

Wedding Channel is the WORST try finding anything helpful in their "help" section. And when you click half of the links, they just take you in circles back to the Home Page. I google'd myself one day and found a wedding website I never set up and there was no privacy settings to take it down. SO SHADY!!!!!

jen m said...

I know what you mean about the cell phone. I had to do that once too. If you don't switch, I have the Droid Incredible and it's no iPhone but it's pretty cool.

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

Anon #1: Thanks. I don't know if I'm doing better or just out of tears. I just met a friend of a friend who told me every time her sister-in-law has a breakup she throws herself an 80s party. Maybe that's what I need. I do love the 80s. Oh, and GFY = go fuck yourself. Not you, of course -- that was meant for the customer "service" agent at BBB.

Anon #2: It's kind of outrageous what WC does, it gives the appearance that you set up a wedding website with them (they even chose a pink flower template for us), and then they make it public so all the search engines grab it. I don't recall a privacy setting there. And I spent a LONG time on their website looking for the info to take it down with no luck. So I googled it, and that's how I finally got in touch with somebody.

Jen M: I was considering the Droid too, but I also want a new iPod (there's a little something on mine called our "Infinite Playlist" which it turns out was decidedly finite). So it's like 2 for 1. Now with all I'm reading about holding the new iPhone in the "death grip" where you don't get reception, I dunno. I will probably just get one anyway and blame it on AT&T.