All this time in the sky has reminded me how much I love to travel. And how I really need to get my 50 state road trip back on track so my buddy, Jodi, and I can explore another new city.
And, how neurotic I can be.
Surely it can’t come as a surprise that the girl who has a pre-date ritual which involves dumping (clean) undies on her couch, might also pack a few quirks in her carryon…
For instance, my bag is ready at least 2 days before every trip so I have at least 1 day to remember the things I forgot. Also, I’d sooner ride in the luggage compartment than check a bag.
Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad. Still within the range of normal, right?
Now, run these through your security scanner:
In the Air:
- I require a window seat, because I hate getting up for people
- I am afraid that if I get up and walk around the plane, my weight will throw it off its course and we’ll go down
- I avoid going to the restroom because I fear a change in cabin pressure will suction my ass to the seat
- I have been known to pretend I don’t speak English to avoid talking to the person sitting next to me
- I am incapable of sleeping in public, so I never nap on planes
- I don’t ever drink alcohol in-flight because I feel I need my wits about me at all times
- I never touch the tray or the materials in the seat pocket because I’m convinced they are covered in microscopic fecal matter
- I immediately strip the bed of blankets, throw pillows, and anything else not regularly washed
- I inspect every inch of the bed and the shower for stray hairs
- I order extra towels, as I require a minimum of 3 bath towels and 1 hand towel after I shower
- I locate the hairdryer and check the accuracy of the clock on the nightstand
- I grab a glass, but I never drink out of it – I use it to hold my jewelry
- I disinfect the remote (oh my Lord of the Rings, you do NOT want to know what lurks on those buttons)
- I check the adjoining room lock(s) and flip the latch on my door so no one can ambush me with turndown service
- I read the room service menu, even if I’m not ordering, so I know what food I can get in a hunger emergency
These are just the things I'm aware of. Imagine all the things I don't even know I'm doing!
So, am I flying solo on this? Do YOU step off the plane and scrub your skin raw with antibacterial soap and a wire BBQ brush?
Check YOUR travel neuroses below...