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Ahem... is this thing still on?

Hard to say.

I'm sorry.  I know it's been ages.

You probably can't tell but I think about writing a lot.  Really, I do!  I compose posts in my head all the time.  They just don't actually make it to any place where people can read them.

I will do better.

So, let's catch up.  In the last 2 months:

  • My hair accidentally got dyed red.  It looked horrible.  Suffice it to say, I won't be going to Becky anymore.  It is now back to brown and all is right with the universe.
  • I produced a huge event, which required me to work for a month straight, including weekends. 
  • I also threw a 50th anniversary party for my parents in FL -- more on that in my next post.
  • I binged on a bunch of new(ish) shows -- Bloodline (Netflix), Roadies (Showtime), American Gothic (CBS), Animal Kingdom (TNT), UnReal (Lifetime) and Casual (Amazon) are worth a spin. The Night Of (HBO) also looks promising.  And for a good old dose of nostalgia, I've been watching Gilmore Girls (Up) reruns on the phone with my mom while we wait for the new one.
  • Speaking of nostalgia, I bought a pack of Fruit Stripe gum,  I used to love that as a kid.  It's terrible as an adult.  Itch scratched.
  • I've developed a mild addiction to Bai antioxidant drinks.  I'm partial to Costa Rica Clementine, Kula Watermelon, and Andes Coconut Lime.
  • I'm FINALLY off the steroids.  So, maybe I can get back to looking like myself.
  • I started driving for Uber.
I'm kidding on that last one. I hate strangers!

But I COULD drive for Uber now if I wanted to, because... I got myself a new car! I figure after 8 loooong years of being car-free, I did my part to help the environment.

Birds, you're welcome.

Now, its a luxury SUV for me. It's fast and shiny and black and perfect.

A car is freedom.

Some people hate driving.  Not me.  I made myself a car playlist that's like a soundtrack to my life.  I got a trunk organizer.  I renewed my EZ Pass and I sit in Lincoln Tunnel traffic every day on the way to and from work.  But I don't even care!  I love every single second.

I leased the same kind of car I used to have but it's gotten quite an upgrade.  It's like a spaceship.  It's keyless and voice-activated.  It has sensors all around that beep when I'm too close to something (or something is too close to me).  I think it parks itself.  It doesn't drive itself but I bet it would call for a pizza if I asked it to.

One thing that thankfully hasn't changed is that Jersey Girls still don't pump gas.  The Garden State says "no thanks" to self-serve stations.  I never even knew that was a thing until I went to college in CT.  Let me go on the record to say it's absolutely barbaric to pump your own gas.  

I'm glad some things stay the same.

Another thing that's still alive and kicking is sexism at the car dealership!  I went in by myself to spend my own money on my own car.  Every other jackass in this very fancy place was just window shopping.  And there I was, checkbook in hand.  But you know the first question they asked after my name?  

Is that Mrs or Miss?  

Pump the brakes, Allen.  This isn't 1956.  And who knows, maybe I am married in a parallel universe where you are also tall, good looking, and smart.

Anyway, back to the good news: I have a car and I can go to Target anytime I want.

So, where else should I visit?  Tell me in the comments below!


chris said...

Your alive! I haven't checked the site in a while but thought I would try today. Mazel on the car :)

Jessica said...

I love that you are in Hoboken where there are boats, busses, and trains but you drive to work. You are so funny! Congrats on getting a car again! Maybe I'll see you at the movies in Clifton!

Anonymous said...

you need to be a ninja to drive in nYC traffic