Okaaaay, I know this isn't news. But it IS true.
I'm in Florida now at my parents' house with my niece & nephew. Their elf, Roofie (don't ask), came along for the ride.
Man, I wish I invented this creeper!
The kids believe 1000%. The premise is simple: A stuffed elf sits in your house observing all the nice and naughty things that happen, then he flies to the North Pole each night to give Santa the scoop. When the kids wake up the next day, the elf is in a new spot, and the spying starts again.
Oh, and they can't touch him or all his magic rubs off and children everywhere cry.
Some people complain about this new tradition. They say it's wrong to spy on kids. Or to equate good behavior with gifts. Or to perpetuate the "Santa Lie."
Those people are grinches.
The ONLY acceptable reason to complain about the elf is if you forgot to move him or you ran out of ideas for his merry hi-jinx. And if that happens to you, do what this mom did and simply break his leg. Then HE can't fly. But YOU can still be lazy while also simultaneously tricking your kids into being good.
While we're on this topic, I'd like to suggest 3 brand new holiday helpers:
This clever gnome helps you find new-ish gifts around your home for all your last-minute, surprise holiday needs.
To keep you on the right path, he does not judge if you re-gift.
This icy buddy prevents you from overeating during the holidays and frowns on all midnight snacks, except carrots.
To keep you on the right path, he is in cahoots with your scale and your favorite pair of jeans.
This four-legged fella brings you a bagel every morning in December. Because they are delicious. He is not friends with the fridge guy.
To keep you on the right path, he says nothing because he doesn't have a mouth and the holidays are stressful enough.
Hope your day was magical -- merry everything from a couple of Christmas cuties!
Tags: family, holidays, pop culture