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12/10/2017

The Essentials


It's been awhile, huh?  I'm the WORST.  

Not sure what I've been so busy doing? (Working, eating, breathing, decking the halls, and, of course, watching TV.)  

I am kind of loving my new TV site.  I feel like a couch potato for Science. At least, that's what I tell myself mid-binge.

Anyway, for the most part, actual actors haven't noticed anything I've posted about them -- except for the crazy talented stars of Crazy Ex Girlfriend

They're crazy awesome.

Reality stars have been delightful. I've hit the radars of people on Below Deck, Real Housewives of the OC, Big Brother, The Challenge and most recently, Floribama Shore (which you need to watch, like, now).

I even got a like from Byrd the Bailiff on Judge Judy!  

It was life-changing.

Anyway, there's this new show on Bravo called Stripped -- is anyone watching this thing?  It's nuts. They take EVERYTHING from you -- even your clothes -- and every day for 3 weeks you can take a single item back (from a storage shed a mile away -- which you walk to naked or covered with leaves or pizza boxes from the neighbor's trash).

Once you get past the floppy pixels, it's actually an interesting social experiment and it got me thinking: If I could only have 21 items -- one per day -- what would I take and in what order would I take it?

Keep in mind, on the show, you do get your empty house as shelter, you have a sink/shower/toilet, packaged food, water, and toiler paper.

They're not monsters!

But you still have to go to work and see people.  Ok, maybe they ARE monsters.

I'd never actually be on this show, but here's my list of items I can't live without. One for each day:
  1. Maxi dress -- The MVP. I just can't be naked. This will cover my whole body with a single item.
  2. Sleeper sofa -- A two-in-one for sleeping and sitting - genius!
  3. Toothpaste -- By day 3 my breath will peel the paint off walls. I will use my finger to brush.
  4. Cell phone + charger -- iPhone is life.
  5. Sneakers -- My feet will be disgusting and I've prob been using couch cushions as shoes.
  6. Antibacterial soap -- To scrub my filthy feet, pits & hands. I will use it as shampoo too.
  7. Blanket -- I can wear it while I air out my stinky dress AND it doubles as a towel. Comforting.
  8. License -- Because I get carded at bars. Kidding. Because I'm about to get my car back.
  9. Car + keys -- Will make it far easier to go back and forth to storage. And to get to work.
  10. Amex card -- There's honestly nothing an Amex can't do.
  11. Deodorant -- Before my coworkers are certain that garbage stench is me.
  12. Sweater -- I'm probably freezing in that dress. 
  13. Leggings -- Because the dress is unraveling and downright funky by now. I would burn it but... no matches.
  14. Lamp -- I'm afraid of the dark. I hope it comes with a lightbulb.
  15. Refrigerator -- It might be nice to have some fruit so I don't get scurvy.
  16. Microwave -- Now we're cooking.  Two words: Hot. Pockets.
  17. Laptop + power cord -- Mainly because I'm going cross-eyed watching Netflix on my phone.
  18. Lip gloss -- This seems dumb, I know, but I REALLY love lip gloss. Might be addicted.
  19. Comb -- With shiny lips, my hair will look worse.  Make it wide tooth -- knots will be v bad.
  20. Fork  -- Eating like a caveman for 3 weeks was getting old. 
  21. Pillow -- To silence the screams when I finally look in a mirror.
So that's my list of essentials.  Know what I didn't pick?  

No toothbrush, no razor, no socks, no undies, no bra (guard your eyes), and oddly, no TV!  (Technically.)

So what are YOUR essentials? List them below... and watch Floribama Shore.  It will not disappoint.


2 comments:

thomas c. said...

do you own stuff or does stuff own you?

Jessica said...

I just watched a marathon of this show! I couldn’t look or look away. I like your list! ��