10/26/2008
5 Reasons I'll Miss Mad Men
10/21/2008
New Jersey = Awesome
10/17/2008
To Date or Not To Date
It makes total sense. I do everything online! I bank and pay my bills. I shop for clothes and groceries. I buy airline and concert tickets. I keep in touch with family and friends, and do a zillion other things. The only time I am not online is when I am sleeping, and even then, I have my Treo on my nightstand. I even earn a living online. So what am I waiting for?
Rationally, I know it works. Every day, I hear a new story about someone who met their match online and is now planning their wedding. I see the commercials on TV. "It's ok to look!" "29 dimensions of compatability!" Even that creepy human beatbox guy found love (note to Chemistry: from a marketing perspective, he's not doing you any favors).
Maybe I just need to stop watching TV (after all, they did ruin hotel rooms for me with all their black light exposes). I just feel like it's shady. Not that I have better options. Almost all my friends are married, so I don't really go out to bars anymore. Everyone they know is also married, plus I'm not really a fan of the random fix-up. I wouldn't ever consider dating anyone I work with. I don't have any hobbies like golfing or eating chicken wings or volunteering or fantasy baseball drafts that would allow me to meet guys. And I live in a city that has the most single women of any place in the country.
So what's a nice girl like me to do?
Should I bite the bullet and join Match, eHarmony, and Chemistry (yes, I said AND -- I like to be thorough -- it would be just my luck to join the wrong site and find nothing but guys who mate falcons, or dress as stormtroopers, or have a collection of human hair)? Should I take the old fashioned route and go bar-hopping? Join a bookclub or a gym? Learn to whittle or take a class at Home Depot? I don't know.
While I contemplate my next move, I'm making sure I have lipstick on every time I throw out the trash. You never know who you might run into.
Baby steps...
10/16/2008
Rock the Vote (and the Voter)
I don't put too much faith in polls, since I've been voting for 17 years and I've never been polled, maybe because I have a job that precludes me from answering my home phone at 2 in the afternoon. And I'm bugged by every "undecided" voter -- I do not believe you, you know which guy you want, you just want to be on TV.
About a month has passed, and still...nothing. Not a postcard, not a peep.
So, I called the NYC board of elections today and a woman (who was clearly eating during our entire conversation and made me spell my last name, no joke, six times) told me that they they don't have enough staff to enter the massive volume of applications they've received. So, maybe mine would be processed by Election Day. But maybe it wouldn't. And there's nothing she can do about it and I should just settle down, because lots of people are in the same boat.
Oh, yeah, too much paperwork... I forgot.
10/08/2008
Pizza Pizza
New York City is synonymous with the slice. Theories abound on its origins, but one thing is for certain: There's something in the water here that makes it deelicious. Sure, you might seek out Lombardi's or Patsy's or John's or Grimaldi's or Totonno's when time is on your side, but in a pinch, any pizza will do. After all, this is NEW YORK. It's gotta be good.
Today, I read in the elevator that October is (among many other things) National Pizza Month. I dreamt about saluting the slice by eating one a day for 31 days. The seed was planted -- must have pizza for dinner.
When I got home, I headed straight for my menu binder (yes, I have a menu binder, and it's organized by type of cuisine -- if you know me at all you'd expect nothing less). Since I'm still fairly new to the neighborhood, I'm still trying out the local spots. So I randomly selected a mom & pop pizza shop takeout menu and patiently waited 20-25 minutes for my dinner to arrive.
Well, it did. I took one bite. And it was total crap, blowing my theory all to shreds. There IS bad pizza in New York. The crust was inexplicably stale, the cheese was waxy, the sauce was bitter, and there was so much oregano I might as well have just dumped a whole jar in my mouth and called it even. So I ditched my dinner and ate cereal instead.
Is there such a thing as a bad slice? And where do you go for the best tasting "tomato pie"?
PS: Don't reply with any Chicago-style "pizza" because it stinks. If I wanted to use a knife and fork, I'd have a steak.
10/02/2008
5 Reasons I'm Glad Dirty Sexy Money Is Back
9/30/2008
Sally Hansen Has Changed My Life
With my irrational dislike of professional manicures intact, over the years I have become quite adept at painting my own nails (even using my left hand). What I've been a spectacular failure at, however, is getting the polish to actually STAY on my fingernails for more than 24 hours.
Maybe I don't eat enough calcium. Maybe I'm too rough. Maybe my nails like to breathe. I don't know, but the minute my fingers are dry (and occasionally several moments before), my nails chip, split, crack, get sheet marks, and otherwise look totally banged up.
This has never stopped me from fighting the good fight. I've spent countless hundreds of dollars on polish over the years. It only takes a peek inside my medicine cabinet to find roughly 30 shades from Essie, OPI, Lancome, Chanel, and the like. No matter what, Chip City.
So, I was running errands on Friday nite after work, to get ready for a wedding in Chicago on Saturday. I stopped into CVS to pick up a few things, including top coat. Thinking back, I'm not even sure what drew me to Sally, but five -- count them, FIVE -- days later, my chip-free fingernails are saying, "What took you so long?!?"
Here's the formula:
1 base coat of Sally Hansen Hard as Wraps (in Clear Gloss)
+ 2 coats of polish (I used OPI's Chick Flick Cherry)
+ 1 coat of Sally Hansen Diamond Strength No Chip Top Coat (in Flawless)
= Magic
Have you got any beauty secrets to share?
9/24/2008
Poetry in Motion
I've decided to chronicle my most recent NYC encounter with a poem. I call this one, "Stinkies."
I stepped in the elevator this morning
and got trapped inside without any warning,
as if my feet were shackled to the ground
by a stink, coming from all around.
Should I turn to my left,
as a man's booze stunk like breath?
Or turn to my right,
I see someone who did not shower last night!
It made my straight hair curl and my sunglasses melt.
Why, oh why, did I smell what I smelt?
9/18/2008
Housewarming
9/16/2008
5 Reasons I Like True Blood
The invention of the DVR has changed my life -- no joke -- and I especially like it when I can stockpile a few episodes for what I call, Binge Viewing. I couldn't wait any longer, so I broke the seal this weekend on the first 2 episodes of Alan Ball's new HBO series, True Blood. I was already intrigued by their synthetic vampire blood teaser campaign that was splattered around the city all summer, so I was disappointed when my favorite magazine, EW, gave it a C and said, "Ball has never seen a comic-dramatic premise he can't flatten with leaden metaphors." Ouch.
But I live on the edge, so I watched anyway, and um... LOVED it. Let me count the ways:
1. The theme song is so damn catchy -- I Want to Do Bad Things With You sets the perfect mood.
2. It took me 2 episodes to place Anna Paquin's vaguely familiar half-naked brother as Ryan Kwanten from the short-lived series Summerland (most notably remembered for starring Jesse McCartney before he was flyin on a G5, G5 and Zac Efron before he was a highschool heartthrob). Nice surprise casting!
3. Vampires are fascinating. Just ask Anne Rice.
4. Smart-mouthed sidekick Tara steals the show. I want to hang out with her. I'm also liking Sam the owner of Merlotte's, and I think EW's PopWatch is really on to something with their theory about his true identity.
5. It's ALAN BALL, people. Even his bad stuff is pretty good. He is single-handedly responsible for the massive crush I have on Peter Krause, and his series finale of Six Feet Under was so moving and beautiful and fitting, it still gives me chills to this day.
As far as I'm concerned, it's total escapist television -- just the way I like it. I'm in.
9/15/2008
Won't You Be My Neighbor?
I've yet to actually meet anybody who lives on my floor, but I know 3 things about my neighbors to the left:
1. They slam the front door a lot, especially at night just as I've drifted off to a peaceful sleep
2. They cook dinner at 6:45pm on the dot (and don't own a cookbook, because it smells like the same weird stew every single day)
3. They think they own the hall because they leave all their crap outside their apt
Few things bother me more than people who are inconsiderate. I can get over the dinner smells (thanks Lysol!) but the other two just bug me. The slamming is just plain rude. And they have a 2-bedroom apt for God's sake, you mean they don't have room for a stroller and a couple of dirty mops? Maybe they have a burgeoning business as door-slamming, floor-scrubbing babysitters and this hallway eyesore is just performance advertising. I don't know.
Oh wait, I know 1 more thing about them:
4. They smoke, which I always suspected, and have now confirmed with a casual inspection of the basket on the back of their kid's stroller -- it contains a lovely pack of ciggies. Way to go mommy & daddy!Am I the only one with annoying neighbors? Should I pin a note on their door asking them to clean up their act, or will that force them to leave a flaming pot of "dirty mop stew" outside mine?