More of a list of people to tip.
Anyway, they’ve continued leaving treats in my mailbox these last few months. The next letter I received, roughly around Valentine’s Day, stated how much they enjoy having me as a resident (and frankly, who wouldn’t?), and how much they yearn to give me peace of mind about “rising rental costs.” Let me repeat… Rising. Rental. Costs. So they decided NOT to raise my rent, if I would simply agree to the small matter of renewing my lease 6 months before it expired.
Hmm, let me see if I understand this. Not raising my rent when the housing market has effectively collapsed, when about half my floor is empty, and when I know I’m paying way above market value for my teeny-tiny deluxe apartment in the sky?
How generous. You spoil me.
First offer -- REJECTED!
Some time went by (tick tock, tick tock), and my silence must have been deafening because about a week ago another letter came my way. Lo and behold, they are now offering flexible leasing terms to suit my needs. MY needs? Aw, how thoughtful! It turns out, renewing today for another 12 months will mean a $125/mo DECREASE. Nice to see they at least have a pinky toe in reality now -- the number is certainly moving in the right direction.
But we haven’t reached home.
My lease is up on August 1st, so I sit, and I wait (tick tock, tick tock), armed with three facts: 1) the same apt as mine, 4 floors higher, was going for $500/mo LESS than I’m paying, 2) the construction they’ve been doing on the balconies and the roof deck is moving at a snail’s pace (probably because they’re broke), making the building less attractive to new residents, and 3) the 2-bedroom to my left (home to a very sloppy family) and 1-bedroom to my right (home to French models, ooh la la) are both vacant and have been for many, MANY months.
Now, I really loathe the idea of moving -- it sucks the life out of me. Just the organization alone is enough to give me hives. So if I threaten to leave, it will be a bluff. I want to do no such thing. But I feel like I have an incredibly rare opportunity here.
I feel drunk with power!
So, beloved readers, I’d like your advice (don’t be shy, all the cool kids are doing it).
Stay tuned to the comments and I'll let you know how it all turns out...