Cookies for Santa

I was out shopping one day and I saw an electric cookie press for the bargain price of $27.99. 

Obviously, I bought it. 

I mean, it's totally normal for a single gal in the city who lives in a glorified shoebox to have a food processor, toaster, stand mixer, crock pot, reversible griddle/grill pan, gigantic cast iron pot, blender, knife block, and single-shot coffee maker jammed on a mere 2 square feet of counter space.  Right?  Nevermind I don't even drink coffee.  (I don't drink wine either, and I have about half a dozen bottles of THAT laying around too.)

Anyway, I couldn't resist the cookie press.  And yes, I know I'll probably only use it once a year.  I don't care.  The other 364 days it can live in the cupboard above the fridge -- right next to my ice cream maker and fondue pot.  So next time it's Christmas, summer, or the 1970s, I'll be prepared.   

Hi, my name is Jen and I'm an appliance-aholic.

So I'm down in Del Boca Vista enjoying semi-retirement for the holidays, and my mom and I made a treat today using my trusty new electric cookie press.  I remember she had one when we were kids and we made cream cheese spritz cookies every Christmas.  Both the press and the recipe are long gone, but thanks to a little Googling, Santa's eating good tonight! 

Here's what we'll be leaving out for the big guy:

CREAM CHEESE SPRITZ COOKIES

TIME: About 10 mins prep, 12-15 mins in the oven, and a lifetime on the hips

SERVES: 4 dozen(ish)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 sticks of butter (just go with it)
• Half a brick of cream cheese -- about 4 oz
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2.5 cups of flour
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract
• 1 tsp of lemon extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Get out the hand mixer and combine the room-temperature butter and cream cheese on medium speed -- enough as to mix it, not so much as to wear it.
3. Add in the sugar and mix some more.
4. Plop in the egg yolk, and the 2 extracts.  Keep on mixing.
5. Gradually add the flour.  Or if you're impatient like me, just dump it in -- it will all blend together. Eventually.
6. When everything is combined, you'll have a sticky dough.  If you think trees taste better when they are green or poinsettias taste better red, now would be the time to also add some food coloring.
7. Next, lay down a sheet of waxed paper and dump the dough in the center.  Use the paper as a buffer to help you form it into a log without it caking all over your fingers.
8. Choose your design and load up your cookie press with dough.
9. Spritz directly onto the cookie sheet, one at a time.  You don't have to leave much room inbetween the cookies -- they don't spread all that much. 
10. This is important: Resist all temptation to use cooking spray, parchment paper, or a Silpat liner.  The dough won't stick to anything but the pan.  Don't ask me why.
11. Bake for 12-15 minutes.  But keep an eye on them.  They'll start to get brown on the bottom, but still look kind of pale on top.  That's ok.
12. Eat them.

Oh, one more thing!

Here is a sign that your cookies are overcooked: They are black.  

These are the last batch that I forgot about in the oven.  After 45 minutes, they probably should have disintegrated into tiny heaps of ash if it wasn't for all that butter.

I'm not much of a baker (clearly), but these are super easy and they tasted just like I remembered.  They're sure to push you to the top of the Nice list if you serve them warm with a glass of ice-cold milk.  And don't forget carrots for Rudolph or else he will poop on your lawn.

Ho, ho, ho!


tags: food, holidays