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The Countdown Is On

Last Friday at 4:02pm, I turned 39.

I think that’s the first time I’ve written my new age. It's official.

I don’t like it!

I mean, how can this BE?!? In my head, I’m still 19. My gray hairs beg to differ. But I know I need to learn to embrace this new number. After all, it’s FAR better than the one that’s up next.

F… ahem. Ffff... Ffort...

Nope. Can’t say it.  Thank God I have cheesecake.

Waaaay back in Feb 2009, when I was a wee 35 and this blog was just 6 months old, I told you these 25 random things about myself.  I've freshened a few up, and added 14 new ones, to make 39 little windows into quirky ol' me. 

One for every candle on my cake.


1) I organize my refrigerator.

2) I don’t eat eggs under any circumstances. That means nothing scrambled, poached, fried, over easy, or hard boiled. I just say no to bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches and eggs benedict. No frittatas or quiches either – they are just fancy egg pies. No way, no how. No eggs. Ever.

3) I don’t drink coffee. Not for health reasons at all. Just don’t like it.

4) I have two recurring nightmares: 1) that I can’t graduate college because I skipped all my classes, and 2) that I’m giving a presentation and all my teeth start falling out of my head and bounce around on the table like Chiclets.

5) I watch more reality television than any professional, thinking, college graduate should. Or should admit to.

6) My first job ever was for The Gap in Willowbrook Mall at age 16.  I started as a greeter and about 2 months later, got promoted to the fitting room.  During this time, I learned you shouldn't use your employee discount to spend more than you make, and the general public is out to stink up, stain, or steal all your clothes.

7) I wrote a book called "29" (truthfully, a 280-page manuscript that hopes one day to grow up to become a published novel), in real-time from my 29th birthday until the day I turned 30, and it’s now collecting dust in a drawer.  I've started writing "39" to keep it company.

8) I started this blog in 2008 to help me get back into the habit of writing, but I really just like blogging for blogging's sake.  Bloggers get book deals now too, you know!  Or so I hear.

9) I have less teeth in my mouth than the average adult. As a kid, my dentist used to pull them 2 and 3 at a time (mostly baby teeth, I don't look like a jack-o-lantern) to make more room because I have a tiny jaw and big horse teeth. And then he would put them on a string and make me wear them home like a necklace. Seriously.

10) I was bitten by a dog when I was 7 and chased by a dog when I was 9, so I’m not really a pet person. But if I had to choose, I prefer dogs over cats, hands down. And if I ever got a dog, I'd name him Leo.

11) I was a cheerleader in college, but don’t get too excited – it was only one year and it was for basketball.  Go Stags!

12) I also hosted a radio show with my college roommate. That was more legit – for 3 years. I learned the ropes from someone who called himself "Professor Poopypants" and then I got a show at 6am.  We’d play our own CDs and read issues of Glamour on-air. Now I work one floor above that magazine.  It's the circle of life.

13) I was responsible for reading Danielle Steel’s fan mail in my first publishing job. It's shocking how many prisoners write to her.

14) I read about 2 books per week when I worked in book publishing. In the 12 years since I left that industry, I feel like I read 2 books a year. And I feel kind of guilty about it.

15) I like my entertainment good and fluffy. Tear-jerkers, talking heads, sci-fi, and police procedurals need not apply.

16) I organize the money in my wallet, with the bills all facing the same direction in order from Washington to Jackson. Anything less is just chaos.

17) I have a state quarter book. And I love it. It took more than 10 years to fill, and Arizona was the trickiest state to find.  I've only been tempted to break into it once, when the Fresh Direct guy came and I didn't have enough singles for a tip.

18) I always wear socks to bed, even in the summer.

19) I am afraid of the dark – I sleep with a light and the television on all night.

20) I’m a chronic snoozer, sometimes I’ll hit it for an entire hour instead of just sleeping longer.

21) I hate talking on the phone. There’s only 3 people in my life that I actually enjoy calling. I’m not telling who they are, but one of them definitely reads this blog, one might read this blog, and one barely knows what a blog is.

22) I don’t like strangers, which makes online dating a particular challenge.

23) I once went to American Idol tryouts at Giants Stadium with the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. It was for work. He really wanted to belt out Celine Dion’s, My Heart Will Go On.

24) My first concert was Rick Springfield when I was 10.

25) The song on my iPod with the most plays is Xanadu by the magnificent Olivia Newton John.

26) The movie I've seen more than any other in the history of cinema is Grease. I know every single word. I simply cannot get enough ONJ, and I believe I was, in fact, born to hand jive.

27) I've seen every episode of Friends at least 10 times, and still watch it every night before I go to bed. I like to pretend I am Chandler.

28) I hate smokers. If I've ever allowed you to pollute my lungs, it's only because I value your friendship more than I despise your selfish, stupid, filthy habit.

29) I took the LSAT my senior year in college, and sometimes wish I'd gone to law school.

30) But really, if I could do anything for a living, and not worry about pesky things like eating and keeping a roof over my head, I would be a writer. Or own a flower shop.

31) I hate washing dishes. I would literally throw them out before I'd stand over a sudsy sink, scrubbing. I never pre-rinse my dishes. This is precisely why I have a dishwasher.

32) I have no less than 10 pillows on my bed, and every time I pass a Homegoods, I resist the urge to buy more.  I am seldom successful.

33) There are few things I love more than driving. I would like someone to teach me how to drive stick so I can go to the Richard Petty racecar school one day.

34) I never get manicures, pedicures, or massages. Spa treatments are not remotely relaxing to me.

35) My favorite vacation of all time was 10 days that I spent by myself in the Cayman Islands. My email and cell phone didn't work, my biggest decision each day was beach or pool, and it was heaven.

36) Every August I look forward to my Ikea catalog arriving.  I set aside time to read it like I would a cherished novel.

37) My favorite pizza topping is bacon. When I want to be healthy I get pepperoni instead. This is why my pants don't fit.

38) I never met a handbag I didn't like. No matter what size I am that day, the bag always fits.

39) I really hope that I'll have someone special to share my next birthday with. If I'm still single when the time comes, I'll say it's cool, but we both know I'll be lying.

So, are YOU aging gracefully?  Or are you horrified by the number of candles on your cake? 

List your own quirks -- or your favorite age -- below...

tags: holidays


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

Kevin said...

Happy birthday, friend.

My favorite age was 22 and I'm allergic to Strawberries

Jessica said...

Hope you had an amah-zing birthday, girl, you deserve it :)

Chris said...

I am older than you And have more *quirks* than you. My fingers can't type them all. Cheers to you and your "19TH" birthday
As for me I will be 24 forever

Anonymous said...