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I Am Not a Wen Girl

I hate being pampered.

There, I said it.

I know.  People looove that stuff.  Probably you do, too!  You are normal.  But I just say no to manicures, pedicures, massages, facials, scrubs, mud baths, waxes, and spray tans.  Don't get me wrong -- I don't roam the Earth looking all raggedy.  I just handle this stuff on my own because being touched by strangers totally stresses me out. 

The ONLY salon treatment I love?  Getting my hair washed. 

Oh, I could sit in that awkward position, staring at the ceiling for hours!  I ignore the wet black towel draped around my neck.  I don't care if they get soap in my ears.  I laugh when they splash me in the eye.  I don't even flinch when the water is too cold or too hot. 

Just scrub-a-dub-dub.

Since I'm not in the salon very often, I try to recreate a hair washing oasis in my own shower.  To this end, I keep a variety of shampoos, conditioners, and 2-in-1s in stock. 

When I saw a late-nite infomercial for Wen, the revolutionary cleansing conditioner by celebrity stylist, Chaz Dean, I was immediately intrigued.  Do I know that dude?  No!  But I'm helpless to resist a good infomercial.  Seriously.  With each flip of Alyssa Milano's bouncy, shiny hair, mine felt more dry, frizzy, and dull.  This 80s teen queen/Wen Girl wouldn't steer me wrong.

They said it works on the first try!  Just one magical bottle was supposed to replace my shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, detangler, and leave-in conditioner.  I don't even use half that crap, but who cares?  Was Wen ("new" spelled backwards) the secret to great hair?

I had to find out.

I went directly to their website to order, but it was a recurring charge -- a bottle every 60 days -- like a DVD club for your head.  What if I didn't like it? I am lazy about managing my finances, no doubt I'd have spent $250 on a gallon of the stuff before I ever got around to stopping it.  I know my limits.  That was not for me. 

Then I saw Sephora sold individual kits.  Yet another reason I love that store... 

It arrived a few days later and I was super excited to unlock some gorgeous hair.  I waited for a weekend so I could spend more time than I do on a typical weekday (which is about 7 minutes, including the time I spend washing it). 

I wet my hair thoroughly.  I took 15 pumps of this cleansing conditioner in my hands and rubbed them together.  I worked it deep into my hair, from root to tip.  I left it in for at least 5 minutes to really soak it in there.  Then I rinsed.  I even patted my hair dry to keep it smooth.  Finally, I blow-dried it with a round brush just like they do in the salon.

Now, I know you know what's coming...

I didn't like it.  Here's why:

1) Bad Smell: I understand they came out with other scents like fig, lavender, and pomegranate, but I went with the original.  Sweet almond mint.  One of the things I love when I use a great shampoo is smelling it all day long as my hair bounces around.  This was a wave of menthol -- like a cough drop a grandpa would keep in his shirt pocket along with a hankie.  Nobody wants to be a Sucrets head.

2) No Lather: THIS IS THE BEST PART OF SHAMPOO!  This thing was like smearing pudding on my head.  Even the commercial got a little foam.  But for me?  No bubbles.  No froth.  Just a gunky lump.  I know it's called a cleansing conditioner, and not shampoo, but I really think they forgot the cleansing part.  Without the lather, you don't feel clean.

3) Limp Locks: I have pretty thick hair but somehow, using Wen made it stringy and kind of oily-looking.  Not the desired effect. 

In short: My hair looked better before. 

I guess it's been a rough year for my mane.  I don't know if it can stand any more experiments, so maybe I should just stick with shampoos I truly love: Frederick Fekkai Glossing, Neutrogena Anti-Residue, Organix Moroccan Oil, Herbal Essences Hello Hydration 2-in-1, and Suave Naturals.

Unless YOU use something better?  (Shhh.  Don't tell my hair, but I'm all ears...)

tags: beauty, commercials, shopping



Chris said...

Youre shampoos match your towels! :) I use Head and Shoulders for the Flakes That Dont Melt

Anonymous said...

I was going to try WEN but did not due to the automatic-Shipment policy. Do you wash your hair everyday?

Anonymous said...


Jessica said...

Try Bumble + Bumble. That's what I use when I want to splurge :-)