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All You Need Is... Cake

You didn't think I was going to say "love," did you? 


Black Thursday is almost upon us, and I -- being perpetually dateless on this fine holiday -- thought I'd turn to my old friend.


Cake is better than a date for several reasons... 

First, you can box up your cake, stick it in the fridge and have it later -- folks frown on doing that to a date.  Second, cake doesn't judge you if you decide to eat the whole damn thing in one sitting -- dates definitely do.  Or so I hear.  Third, it's thoughtful when something is written on the face of a cake -- if something's written on the face of your date, he is very likely a serial killer.

In honor of this unholy day of love, I've collected my 14 (ok, 15) favorite cakes.

Eat your heart out:

Hmmm.  I guess "Enjoy Your Chlamydia!" isn't as classy.

Huge YOU?  I'll be the judge of that.

But I don't want to be a mime!  I'm far too chatty and white gloves creep me out.

 Well that's just embarrassing.  Somebody call Hallmark.  They've been spelling it wrong all these years.

When I want something sweet and cuddly to show my love, the first thing I think of is a smiley booger too.

Is it a Sumo wrestler?  An angry baby?  Danny DeVito?  Who can tell.  And for $5.00, who cares? 

Boobs.  Subtle.

Any way you slice it, that's a very tiny amount of love.  Hardly worth writing on a cookie cake, if you ask me.

Reminds me of a note a boy left on my desk in the 4th grade.  I checked "no" too.

That's ok because I'm in love with Yellow Cake.

Oh yes, it's definitely YOU.

By "people" do you by any chance mean "pies"?  Because I'd be ok with that too.

Think they deliver? 

And your money says, "Bye."

This may be the most disturbing thing ever written in icing.

If you like funny cakes as much as I do, visit Cake Wrecks and pray no one ever gives you one of these.

So, what would YOU prefer on V-day, a cake or a date?   Dish it up below...

tags: dating, food, holidays


Jessica said...

Cake hands down :)

Krissy said...

I hate men right now, so it's cake all the way.

chris said...

The last cake is the sickest thing I have seen ever and I pick cake so long as cookies count as cakes

Kevin said...

Y'all must be dating the wrong people because its a known fact dates are better than cakes. Thought these are some funny cakes!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm still laughing on that last cake. I should send that to my husband since he loves clipping his in bed and I think its disgusting