Rejected Candy Hearts

So I was in Walgreens practicing my most favorite post-holiday ritual: Buying cheap candy. 

This tradition was born in college when my roommate and I would get back after Easter and head straight to Brooks Pharmacy on Post Road in Fairfield, CT.  Half off Peeps and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs? 

Don't mind if I do.

Needless to say, conversation hearts were top of my list today. Sure, you could just suck on a box of chalk but would chalk amuse you with cute short sayings or stain your tongue with pink ink?  No. 

I rummaged through the piles of Valentine's Day shrapnel and found the very last bag on the shelf, tucked under a plush insect that had "Bee Mine" printed on his red t-shirt.

Can't imagine why that gem was left behind.

I brought the bag home and dumped the hearts into a bowl so I could pick out all the oranges first. I like to pretend they're vitamins. Then, I noticed the sayings.  Not a single "Kiss Me," "True Love" or "Call Me."

The sayings inside my bag were...different.  I'm pretty sure they all got rejected at the candy factory.

Take a look at what was inside:

Find any funny Valentines in YOUR bag o'hearts?  Add them below, or make your own sweet nothings here.


tags: holidays