To Date or Not To Date

If I had a $1 for every time someone told me to create an online dating profile, I might be able to retire. Or at least, take a very nice vacation.

It makes total sense. I do everything online! I bank and pay my bills. I shop for clothes and groceries. I buy airline and concert tickets. I keep in touch with family and friends, and do a zillion other things. The only time I am not online is when I am sleeping, and even then, I have my Treo on my nightstand. I even earn a living online. So what am I waiting for?

Rationally, I know it works. Every day, I hear a new story about someone who met their match online and is now planning their wedding. I see the commercials on TV. "It's ok to look!" "29 dimensions of compatability!" Even that creepy human beatbox guy found love (note to Chemistry: from a marketing perspective, he's not doing you any favors).

Yes, I know it can work. But could it work for ME? I'm scared of strangers!

Maybe I just need to stop watching TV (after all, they did ruin hotel rooms for me with all their black light exposes). I just feel like it's shady. Not that I have better options. Almost all my friends are married, so I don't really go out to bars anymore. Everyone they know is also married, plus I'm not really a fan of the random fix-up. I wouldn't ever consider dating anyone I work with. I don't have any hobbies like golfing or eating chicken wings or volunteering or fantasy baseball drafts that would allow me to meet guys. And I live in a city that has the most single women of any place in the country.

So what's a nice girl like me to do?

Should I bite the bullet and join Match, eHarmony, and Chemistry (yes, I said AND -- I like to be thorough -- it would be just my luck to join the wrong site and find nothing but guys who mate falcons, or dress as stormtroopers, or have a collection of human hair)? Should I take the old fashioned route and go bar-hopping? Join a bookclub or a gym? Learn to whittle or take a class at Home Depot? I don't know.

While I contemplate my next move, I'm making sure I have lipstick on every time I throw out the trash. You never know who you might run into.

Baby steps...