Monday Evening Quarterback

Wait.  Was there a game on last night?!? 

Well, somebody better call Ripley, because I cannot believe this shit.

111.3MM viewers tuned to NBC as the Giants and the Pats battled it out in Super Bowl XLVI, making this the most-watched event ever. Again.

I read someplace last week that the average person planned to spend $65 on drinks, snacks and gear to get in the spirit. I’m pretty sure I spent that on cannolis alone. But that’s nothing compared to the ads.

In total, 70 commercials aired at the bargain price of $3.5MM per :30 spot. That's $116,666.67 per second.

(Recession?  What recession?  Let's sell Doritos.)

We ALL know I’m not remotely qualified to discuss ANY of the game. Not a single play. Even though I watched the whole thing -- from coin toss to confetti drop -- on the edge of my seat, in my Eli Manning long-sleeved t-shirt (because it was too chilly for my Phil Simms short-sleeved t-shirt). 

My sparkly blue nail polish probably sealed my fate. 

What I CAN do, as a self-appointed TV MVP, is judge the commercials. If I was giving out trophies, hands-down the automotive industry drove off with the best ads this year.

Tons of pre-game fanfare with Ferris and Honda. Acura had Seinfeld, Leno, and the Soup Nazi. Volkswagen gave a dog a workout, and then inexplicably tossed Darth Vader in the mix. Audi slayed a ton of vampires with its daytime headlights (nevermind Edward drives a Volvo, and this concept is about 2 years too stale). And Chrysler gave us Halftime in America with leathery cheerleader, Clint Eastwood. He was inspiring (and vaguely Reagan-esque).

Then there was Chevy.

While their Sonic ad left me wanting hamburgers and chili cheese tater tots far more than I wanted this weird little stunt car, I did laugh as their “happy grad” thought he got the best gift ever -- a bright yellow Camaro.

But the Silverado Mayan apocalypse was my favorite of ALL the ads I saw (when I wasn’t too busy snacking or yapping). 

Only Chevys, Twinkies, and Barry Manilow will survive:




On the flip side, my least favorite commercial had to be for Pepsi. Elton John dressed like a chubby, bedazzled king and some X-Factor chick nobody knows?

Well, that sounds like a bulletproof plan to sell soda:



What a fall from the sugar-high set by the galaxy of musical stars that have sold Pepsi products over the years!


Ugh. I can’t end on that note. It’s too lame. Let’s all pretend that we just got a bright yellow Camaro:





Ah, that's better.

Which ads stood out to YOU?  Channel your inner Don Draper and list your fave spots below...


tags: commercials, sports