7 Dream Jobs

Work has been crazier than usual lately. 

If you know me well... you know why. 

If you don't know why... I'll tell you later.

Anyway, with just a few short months left in my 30's I've been thinking about what I want to be when I grown up.  Like, if money wasn't an issue, and I didn't have to shell out $3,200/month (barf) in rent, what might I do with my days?

I'm not totally convinced there is such a thing as a "dream job," but for me, these come pretty close:

1) I'd like to be a Florist and I would call my shop: Nice Stems
I've always been a creative gal.  I think it would be awesome to be surrounded by pretty flowers all day making cool arrangements.  Plus you can wear an apron, but not be a waiter.  And flowers make people happy.  Unless somebody screws up.  Or dies.  Incidentally, incase anybody wants to say "I love you," "I'm sorry," or "RIP" to me, I like yellow roses best.

2) I'd like to be a TV Critic and I would call my column: The Loveseat Potato
It's no secret I am TV's #1 fan.  So imagine getting paid to watch it?  I get giddy at the thought.  I actually went to grammar school with a guy who became a quasi-famous TV critic.  He was an easily irritated kid who once kicked our teacher, Mrs. Chin, in the shin.  It took 3 women to subdue him.  And THAT guy gets paid for his opinions on TV shows.  There really is no justice in this world.

3) I'd like to be a Soap Opera Writer and I would call my soap: Al Diablo con los Guapos (To Hell with Handsome Guys)
Apparently this is already the name of a Mexican soap.  Isn't it awesome?  According to Wikipedia, they also have shows that translate to Chains of Bitterness, Weddings of Hate, Rich People Also Cry, and inexplicably, A Few Fleas.  I could really get into these plots.  Except the flea one.  That's gross.

4) I'd like to be a Pizza Truck Owner and I would call my truck: Go Ahead, Make My Pizza
If a more perfect food exists, I don't know about it.  When I was a junior in high school (Go Mustangs!), I went with my English & French class to Europe on a whirlwind trip where we saw 4 countries in 7 days.  I was feeling pretty homesick in Paris when a friend stepped out of our crappy hotel room to pick up lunch.  She came back with 2 small pizzas.  Her's was normal, but mine was heart-shaped.  Apparently she told the pizza guy I was upset and he made it for me.  Trust me, a heart-shaped pizza will make your day.

5) I'd like to be a Micro-Brewer and I would call my beer: Pine Brook Pale Ale
I am allergic to red wines, so I'm typically the klassy girl who orders a beer.  Why not brew up a batch of my own?  Plus I love pretzel rolls and I feel like every brewery also serves sandwiches on tasty pretzel rolls.  Win win.

6) I'd like to be a Drummer and I would call my band: Jersey Girls Don't Pump Gas
I can't sing.  I was asked to leave choir in the 7th grade because of my bad voice.  I can't play any instruments.  I took exactly 3 piano lessons before I quit.  (I was 10, and my teacher ate hamburgers during our lessons and got his greasy, grubby hands all over the keys.)  But how great would it be to play a drum solo?  Very.

7) I'd like to be a Racecar Driver and I would call my car: The Jen-eral Gee
If I could take one of those adventure vacations, I wouldn't skydive or go to rockstar camp, I'd go to Richard Petty's Driving School.  I love to drive.  Fast.  But I don't get the appeal of NASCAR.  Watching cars go in a circle for 500 laps?  No thanks.  But being behind the wheel?  Now, you're talking!  I just have to buy a jumpsuit, practice getting into a car through the window, and learn how to drive stick.  Then, I'm totally doing this.


None of these gigs involve sitting in an office all day, which is how I've spent the last 18 years of my career, so they all sound especially fun. 

What's YOUR dream job?  Work it out below...


tags: work