This Girl Is Bossy

I'm pretty sure this is the longest I've ever gone without writing a blog post.  (Cough.)  I'm so sorry, I've just been working really long hours lately and honestly, I haven't felt all that creative. 

But then I remembered, I love to blog! 

So here I am.

One of the things I've been working on is a campaign inspired by Sheryl Sandberg of Harvard, Lean In and Facebook fame -- she also recently became a billionaire (underachiever). She teamed up with the Girl Scouts to encourage girls to lead by banning the word "bossy" because it's belittling and sends a message that they shouldn't speak up.

Maybe you've heard of this?

Well, nobody can argue with wanting to empower young girls to be their best, but I think banning any word gives it way more power than it deserves. Plus, you can't ban ALL the words, right?  First bossy, then bratty, then bitchy. 

It doesn't end.

What you CAN do is get girls (and boys!) talking.  Give them the support and tools to handle whatever comes their way.  So, we made this video:



Aren't they great?!

As you know, I absolutely love doing stuff with kids, and seeing these 8 and 9 year old girls speak their minds reminded me of myself.  So I dug up this old photo of me at their age.

(Note the Wonder Woman bathing suit.  It was 1981 and she was awesome.  Still is.)

Back then, I was labeled a "social butterfly" by my teachers.  My parents thought I was a bit of a ham.  And yes, my little brother probably thought I was kinda bossy.  But he loves me anyway.

I'm sure over the years I have been called lots of things -- some good, some not. As a matter of fact, when I was a senior in college, a grown man once said, "God help the man who marries YOU," because I refused to leave his travel agency until he refunded my money (and the money of my 5 other girlfriends) after he overbooked our Spring Break trip to South Padre Island.  He cut a check that day.

Come to think of it, the old goat may have put a curse on me...

Bygones.

Point is this: Bossy is in the eye of the beholder.  This label -- or any label -- sometimes says more about the person using it than it does about the person they are trying to stick it on.  The trick is to stay true to yourself.

And those bossy tendencies?  They can be used for good!  Like, to stand up for someone, or to take charge of a situation, or to right a wrong. 

To be the boss.  Just like Springsteen.

So, what do YOU think?

I mean, I'm not the boss of you, but if I were I'd tell you to ask your kids what bossy means to them and upload a video to the social network of your choice using #BossyIs.

Or you could just show me pics of yourself in a superhero suit.  I'd like that too!


tags: family, jersey, rants, work

Dear Cough,

Please go away.

I haven’t been sick since May 2010.  I had bronchitis.  Maybe you remember? I sure do because I got dumped that week.  Since then, healthy as a horse!

That is, until last month when YOU came around.  Jerk.

I flew into Del Boca Vista and my throat started feeling a little funny.  Before long, I had coughing fits.  Hack, hack, hack, hack, haaaaack. Gasp for breath. Hack, hack.

Then came the chills.  Then the aches.  Never the green boogers. Then everything went away.

But YOU stuck around.

That was 4 weeks ago!  Officially, my lungs are clear and I had a severe upper respiratory infection.  Unofficially, I’ve got a huge pain in the ass.

I’ve taken full rounds of Delsym, Mucinex, Alleve Cold & Sinus, vitamin C, prescription cough pills AND cough syrup with Codeine, Z-packs, and more mentholated Halls than I can count.  That last one actually helps, for a minute (more on that below). 

Now, I’m on the Zyrtec.

Yes, I can hear you laughing.  I know it’s too early for seasonal allergies, but I’m at my wit’s end. I cough so much I’ve given myself a headache, which, incidentally, I treat with Advil liqui-gels. It doesn’t help that I’ve been on 5 flying germ farms (aka planes) during this time. And I had to give not one, but TWO, presentations in front of 100 people! Nothing says classy like coughing into a microphone.

But you knew that.

Also, attention makers of Pine Bros. chewy cough drops: You stink.  I don’t know why Martha Stewart is shilling for you.  I bought you in a haze of nostalgia and sickness and you did nothing but turn my tongue red.  You immediately disintegrate as though my saliva were made of acid.  And somehow you manage to both be bland AND taste horrible.  A rare skill.

I want my $4 back.

In other cough drop news, Luden’s you look and taste like a Jolly Rancher, which does nothing for me and rots my teeth. Riccola, you taste like a cherry covered in grass and you did zilch for my tickly throat.

My best bet is your archenemy, Hall’s.  I love you in all your sugar-free glory.  Keep fighting the good fight.

NOT in health,
The Girl Who Can’t Stop Coughing


tags: health, rants

Rejected Candy Hearts

So I was in Walgreens practicing my most favorite post-holiday ritual: Buying cheap candy. 

This tradition was born in college when my roommate and I would get back after Easter and head straight to Brooks Pharmacy on Post Road in Fairfield, CT.  Half off Peeps and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs? 

Don't mind if I do.

Needless to say, conversation hearts were top of my list today. Sure, you could just suck on a box of chalk but would chalk amuse you with cute short sayings or stain your tongue with pink ink?  No. 

I rummaged through the piles of Valentine's Day shrapnel and found the very last bag on the shelf, tucked under a plush insect that had "Bee Mine" printed on his red t-shirt.

Can't imagine why that gem was left behind.

I brought the bag home and dumped the hearts into a bowl so I could pick out all the oranges first. I like to pretend they're vitamins. Then, I noticed the sayings.  Not a single "Kiss Me," "True Love" or "Call Me."

The sayings inside my bag were...different.  I'm pretty sure they all got rejected at the candy factory.

Take a look at what was inside:

Find any funny Valentines in YOUR bag o'hearts?  Add them below, or make your own sweet nothings here.


tags: holidays

My 5 Favorite Beatles Songs

I just got back from a whirlwind tour for the last 3 weeks.

I hit Del Boca Vista, then Scottsdale, then back to Del Boca.  As I was walking through JFK yesterday on my way home, I saw a news bulletin about a few famous fellows who arrived at JFK exactly 50 years earlier.

The Beatles!

There was similar fanfare when I arrived. 

Beatlemania was before my time (I'm old but I'm not THAT old). From what I gather, they were bigger than Jesus.

Paul has always been my fave of the Fab Four. Ringo was too goofy, George was too serious, and John was too trippy for me. Paul seemed like a sensible choice.

What do you know? Most of the Beatles songs I like best were sung (sang? singed?) by Sir Paul. Here's my top 5:

Eleanor Rigby from Revolver (1966)
Why I like it: In 8th grade music class we learned to play this tragic song on a guitar.  Beatles, both alive and dead, rolled over in their graves that day but I bet Eleanor liked it.
Lead vocals: Paul McCartney
Fun fact: She was originally called Miss Daisy Hawkins.

All You Need Is Love from Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
Why I like it: It's used in one of the best scenes of one of my favorite movies of all time, Love Actually. Plus it came out on my mom's bday.
Lead vocals: John Lennon
Fun fact: The song starts with the French national anthem, La Marseillaise.

Yesterday from Help! (1965)
Why I like it: If this song doesn't choke you up, just a little bit, you are dead inside.
Lead vocals: Paul McCartney
Fun fact: McCartney composed the whole melody in a dream at his girlfriend's house, and it was called Scrambled Eggs before it had a title.

Helter Skelter from The White Album (1968)
Why I like it: This one makes the list because of U2's cover on Rattle & Hum -- they're MY fab 4.
Lead vocals: Paul McCartney
Fun fact: The Who was the inspiration for Paul writing this rowdy song, it was later adopted as an anthem by Charles Manson

Get Back from Let it Be (1970)
Why I like it: When I was a kid I thought Jojo was a man who thought he was a woman, not a loner. Still makes me laugh when I hear this song.
Lead vocals: Paul McCartney
Fun fact: Paul looked at Yoko Ono in the studio when he sang, "Get back to where you once belonged."

poll by twiigs.com

The Beatles released 217 songs -- list YOUR favorites below!


tags: music, polls, pop culture

The Loveseat Potato Returns

Well, well, look who got a spuddy buddy?  No wonder she's so late with this fall TV post!

This is a match made in buttery mashed potato heaven.  Right?

Yeah... anyway, It's taken SO long to write this post that fall TV shows have been cancelled and their mid-season replacements have too.  And now, somehow it's 2014?!? 

Where does the time go?

While I'm waiting for a few new shows to start (Rake on FOX, and Late Night with Seth Meyers and About a Boy on NBC, I'm talking to YOU), let's feast our eyes on 50+ shows that have been clogging up my DVR.  In all cases, I've seen at least 2 episodes, but probably many (many) more.  Like, whole seasons.  Even of the ones I didn't like.

I blame the potato.


BEST NEW COMEDY

SPUD: The Millers (CBS)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Let's face it, sitcoms aren't as funny as they used to be.  But there's nothing not to like about this show.  Will Arnett?  Great. Greg Garcia, who created My Name Is Earl, created this show too? I'm in. It also makes me laugh?  Pass the chips (just don't tell you know who!).

Honorable mention goes to: Hello Ladies (HBO), The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC), Super Fun Night (ABC), Ground Floor (TBS), Orange Is the New Black (Netflix), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX)

DUDS: Sean Saves the World (NBC), Trophy Wife except the little guy named Bert, he's awesome (ABC), Dads (FOX), The Goldbergs (ABC), Mom (CBS), Welcome to the Family (NBC - cancelled), We Are Men (CBS - cancelled), Back in the Game (ABC - cancelled)







BEST NEW DRAMA

SPUD: The Blacklist (NBC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This show has a Silence of the Lambs vibe, minus the cannibalism. So far. James Spader lost some hair and gained some pounds, but is still creepy like we like him.  He plays Red Reddington, a fugitive who turns himself in to help a new FBI agent track down a bunch of other criminals who are so shady they aren't even on the Most Wanted List. Sounds dumb, but it's good.

Honorable mention goes to: Betrayal (ABC), Mob City (TNT)

DUDS: Hostages (CBS), Killer Women (ABC), The Carrie Diaries (CW), Almost Human (FOX), Lucky 7 (ABC - cancelled), Ironside (NBC - cancelled)










BEST NEW REALITY

SPUD: Friday Night Tykes (Esquire)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This show is hard to watch. And that's what has me hooked.  It follows a handful of pee-wee football teams in Texas. The boys, who are only 8 or 9 years old, are amazing. It's the coaches that are disgusting. If I had a kid on one of these teams, I'd punch the coach in the chicken nuggets.

Honorable mention goes to: Courtney Loves Dallas (Bravo), Vanilla Ice Goes Amish (DIY), Real World Ex-plosion (MTV), Below Deck (Bravo)

DUDS: 100 Days of Summer (Bravo), Thicker Than Water (Bravo), Toned Up (Bravo), Styled to Rock (Bravo), Come Dine with Me (Lifetime), The New Atlanta (Bravo), Alaskan Women Looking for Love (TLC)



BEST NEW FANTASY

SPUD: Reign (CW)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Ever wonder what Mary Queen of Scots was like when she was 15? Me neither. And even if I did, I'm 99% sure this show is wildly historically inaccurate. But hey, that's why they invented historical fiction. Just give me fancy dresses and cute boys, I'm there.

Honorable mention goes to: The Originals (CW), Sleepy Hollow (FOX)

DUDS: Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC), Dracula (NBC), The Tomorrow People (CW), Witches of the East End (Lifetime)











BEST NEW COOKING

SPUD: Cutthroat Kitchen (Food Network)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Imagine you needed to roast a chicken using only a crème brûlée torch with spatulas duct-taped to your hands? A bunch of sociopaths cook up crazy sabotages like this every week, and chefs battle it out to cook a good dish despite them. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for the pitch meetings. It would be more funny to see what doesn't make the cut.

Honorable mention goes to: Knife Fight (Esquire Network), My Grandmother's Ravioli with Mo Rocca (Cooking Channel), Guy's Grocery Games (Food Network)

DUDS: Rachael vs. Guy: Kids Cook-Off (Food Network), Junior Masterchef (FOX), The Kitchen (Food Network)






Lastly, it's time to roast a show I wanted to love (really, I did!), but I didn't:

WORST FAMOUS PERSON IN A SITCOM

DUD: The Crazy Ones (CBS, Thursdays at 9pm)

WHY IT'S A ROTTEN POTATO:
Robin Williams!  This had all the makings of my new favorite show -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Bob from Mad Men in a modern-day advertising industry sitcom by David E. Kelley?  Genius.  Then came Robin freaking Williams.  That guy can't shut it off.  He grates my nerves down to a pile of hashbrowns, which incidentally, would be infinitely more enjoyable than his tired old schtick.  Boo.
















Disagree?  See something I missed?  Put the DVR on pause and comment below...


tags: entertainment