We're Not In Pine Brook Anymore

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Nobody really wants an endorsement from me (see Top Chef ringer Fabio, for example).

But since I watch about a million TV shows, I can’t help but have some favorites in the many reality competitions that are coming to an end this week and next. Even though I know it will ultimately be their doom...

Below are my picks to win. Feel free to read this through your fingers, like you might watch a traffic accident:

The Amazing Race
True, this one wrapped on Sunday, but my money was on Margie & Luke, the bionic mom and deaf son duo. They were actually in the lead for most of the finale, but bit it in the end over a particularly vexing surfboard puzzle. I was sad, but not surprised, when Phil Keoghan, my 2nd favorite reality show host (my 1st being The Bachelor’s Chris Harrison), stood on a bluff in Hawaii and informed us that the pair came in 3rd. Poo.

Hell’s Kitchen
To tell you the truth, I don’t actually care who wins this one tonight. Personally, I’d like to see chef Gordon Ramsay get right up close to the camera and shout, “Suck it, Donkeys!” then storm off the set. I guess I kind of liked 400lb Robert earlier in the season, before he was sent home with chest pains. Since I’m picking, though, I’ll go with Paula. Who’s that? Well, she’s mousy and plain and doesn’t have the personality God gave a rock. But the other finalist has a serious mullet and I just can’t abide by that.

Dancing with the Stars
I’ve loved Gilles & Cheryl from the beginning. While this Sex & the City shower guy could have chemistry with a doorknob, the fact is he’s a terrific dancer. And Cheryl’s a great choreographer. So together, they’re pretty sizzling. She’s already won a mirrorball trophy or two (and made me love a country song against all my better judgement), and I think she can do it again. I’d also like to state for the record that if Gilles ever leaves his wife, he can paso doble his way over to my deluxe studio apartment any day. Ole!

American Idol
Ok. If Adam Lambert in all his guyliner and black-nailpolished glory doesn’t win, I WILL stop watching this show. (Until next season when Evil Ryan Seacrest sucks me in. Again.)

Check back on the comments next week and we’ll see how I fared. And share your own predictions below!

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You like Adam? Oh no, he's weird. It's Chris all the way!

Anonymous said...

Mullet Danny won last night -- you are the mush!!!!!

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

Anon #1: Chris is cool too. Just glad Gokey is gone-y.

Anon #2: Yeah, it's not looking good, I'm 0 for 2...

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

I WENT 0 FOR 4!!!

How is that even possible with the sheer volume of television I watch?

Unreal.

Anonymous said...

how could you leave survivor off this list????

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

It's funny, someone else pointed that out too. I stopped watching Survivor after the 2nd season -- the dirt and the stink and the sweating grossed me out.

But be glad I didn't list it! I could have put the mush on your favorite...