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M&M (&M&M&M&M&M)

I knew this week was going to be tough, with my birthday on Aug 3rd and my fake wedding day on Aug 7th (even though we never set an official date, we were getting married on the 7th according to our wedding gift registries).

But I’m TIRED of feeling awful. You know what makes me feel better?

Chocolate. And potato chips. And aerosol cheese eaten directly from the can. Kidding about that last one. I put it on a cracker first.

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to try pretzel M&Ms. I mean, I like salty-sweet just as much as the next guy! But I felt I needed to try this new combo in the context of some tried and true flavors. So I gathered 7 packages of M&Ms, and 2 of my favorite people, to put the candies that melt in your mouth (not in your hands) to the test.

In the tradition of my hard-hitting culinary investigative journalism on the subject of Giant Cheetos, I submit to you…

The Great M&M Taste-Off of 2010.

To follow along with the row of M&Ms in the picture, begin with the stinker on the right and work your way left. Oh, and the big brown blob below the row of M&Ms is a Junior Mint (we needed a palette cleanser).

#7: Coconut (white)
Nobody expected to like this one. And… no one did. While it “came in fun colors,” unfortunately, “it’s just not good.” The flavor is pretty “mild,” and it doesn’t have the texture you’d expect from something coconutty, so it feels a “bit like paste” in your mouth. It’s the only bag that went directly into the trash, with a definitive “there’s not a chance I would eat that.”

#6: Almond (orange)
This one was a disappointment (much like the over-hyped mega-M&M that came in sophisticated colors like beige -- like the world is clamoring for more BEIGE candies). Its “nutless taste” was surprising, given the size of the nut inside. Maybe it “needed salt?” Any way you bite it, it was “boring” and “not worth the extra fat.”

#5: Plain (red)
This was the most surprising. The one that started it all was “sweeter than I remember” and the “crunch was more satisfying than the taste.” The milk chocolate “isn’t rich, which is why you can eat a whole bag,” but the sweetness was “gross after a while.”

#4: Dark Chocolate (brown)
With this one, it’s important to note that nobody in the room thought they liked dark chocolate. And I’m guessing in the authentic flavor department, these are to actual dark chocolate, what Taco Bell is to Mexican food. But nevertheless, “once the taste got going, it’s not bad.” And everybody agreed, “I’d eat it before coconut.”

#3: Pretzel (red)
The reason for the taste test did not disappoint… most of us. Cries of “oooh” and “I’ll have another!” were tempered by its dismissal as a “novelty.” The perfectly round shape makes them "fun to shoot across the table." All of us were curious, “what does it look like inside?” and I wondered, “why no yellow?”

#2: Peanut Butter (blue)
A crowd-pleaser, this “cousin to Reese’s Pieces” had a “strong peanut butter taste” and was “very creamy.” We felt that while you “don’t really taste the chocolate, it’s ok.”

#1: Peanut (green)
What can you say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? You can’t deny this “lumpy classic” is “satisfying.” Its “filling, peanutty taste” is what kept us going back for "more, please!"

And there you have it. The Peanut M&M reigns supreme. For now.

After all, you never know what the folks at Mars will come up with in an attempt to keep a 70-year-old brand relevant. Remember the limited-edition Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms they introduced with the Transformers movie last summer? I never understood the connection (did Optimus Prime have a sweet tooth?), and I couldn’t really figure out if I liked them. Even after eating the whole bag.

Somebody had to.

While we’re on the topic of eating a whole bag, PLEASE BRING THE CRISPY M&M BACK. They were delicious. Maybe I should start a Facebook group to rally people around a Crispy comeback. It worked for Betty White.

So, did we get it right? Weigh in below:

tags: food, polls, pop culture


Anonymous said...

fun idea! who were the 2 other taste testers? and what about mint?

Anonymous said...

Now this is the Jenny we know and love! Welcome back!

Anonymous said...

How could you hate coconut? YUM!

Roger said...

Chocolate. And potato chips.

Don't forget chocolate-covered potato chips! Still one of the best gifts I've ever received.

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

Thanks to everyone who's voted so far! Looks like the majority like peanut too.

Anon #1: The other taste testers were my brother and sister-in-law. I don't think they actually make mint anymore, I think it was a limited-time promo for Indiana Jones, but I did look for it.

Anon #2: Thanks!

Anon #3: Because it's gross.

Rog: So funny you remember that after all these years! Those chocolate covered potato chips are really a crowd pleaser. I get them every time I'm in the Jerz. If you're ever in my Garden State, swing by Bromilow's in West Caldwell - it's like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Yum.

Anonymous said...

Such a fun idea! Do more taste tests!

Anonymous said...

Have you tried these???

Limited Edition Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms

Jenny From The 'Brook said...

Anon #4: Glad you liked it! Stay tuned, I have another planned soon.

Anon #5: It so funny, I actually did try those a year or so ago and I couldn't decide if I liked them. Then they disappeared. Will look for them again!