What was supposed to be my best year ever turned out to be total crap. Dumped? Check. Homeless? Yup. Poor? You betcha! 2011’s got to be better, right?
Here are the important steps I'll be taking tonight to ensure that it is…
Watching Andy Cohen on Bravo
I cannot handle ringing in New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with pre-recorded musical guests and plastic Ryan Seacrest. And I'm sorry but watching Dick Clark struggle to speak brings me down. So I’m switching things up this year with Bravo and the irresistible Andy Cohen. He's not lighting a tired old ball -- he's dropping a blonde wig. Plus, it's cable, so there's a good chance he will be counting down to midnight as he should be. Tipsy.
Eating 12 Grapes at Midnight
Following a tradition that started in Spain over 100 years ago, I am going to eat 1 grape for each tick of the clock so I can have good luck every month of the year. By the last stroke of midnight, I will have eaten 12. I wonder if it applies to anything eaten 12 at a time? Like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? Ham sandwiches? I’m guessing no. But either way, it’s a good thing I have no one to kiss. My mouth will be too busy eating my future.
Reading My 2011 Horoscope
It seems that my life (and yours!) should unclench in the New Year. Thanks to Jupiter, Uranus, the Moon, Venus, Pisces and a purple unicorn at the end of a rainbow, we’ll all get relief from our romantic worries. Then the Sun, Saturn, Mars, Capricorn, and the two-timing Moon and Venus get in on the action so our money problems ease up too. It’s comforting to know the trust issues and debt that I acquired as parting gifts in 2010 won’t stick around.
Wearing Bright Undies
Some people slip into sequined dresses, others sport tuxedos. Me? I’ll do like they do in South America and slap on some brightly colored underpants. Most popular is red to attract love, or yellow for prosperity. Maybe I'll wear both. Do you think size matters? If so, count me in for a scuba suit.
I think I’ll stop short of plucking all my eyelashes out and making a wish on each one. But I’m pretty much game for anything else.
Got any other crazy suggestions for good luck? Add them below!
tags: entertainment, food, holidays