50 Shades of Peeps

I read someplace that each Easter, Americans buy more than 700 million Peeps.

Now, I would like to show you my coffee table.

Oh, you can't see it?  Maybe that's because it's coated in Peeps. I'm pretty sure I now own about 2 million of them.

Before you worry that I've lost my Peepin mind, please know that I bought these for Science.

First, I wrote an extremely important article at work on Peeps and manicures (somebody had to).  And second, I felt it was my duty as a Peep lover to try every last kind and share my findings with you.

Now, as any Peep aficionado will tell you, the ONLY way to eat them is stale -- and head first. Just slice open the package and let those chicks and bunnies breathe like a fine wine. It may be tempting, but eating a fresh, fluffy Peep is like drinking boxed wine.

Cheap thrills.

On to the taste test!  Grab a rack and munch along...

Classic Chicks Taste Test: Pink, Yellow, Blue, Purple, Green & Orange
Winner: YELLOW!
I know these all taste the same, but I am a purist.  Yellow is the only way to go.

Classic Bunnies Taste Test: Pink, Yellow, Purple, Green & Blue
Winner: PINK!
Again, yes, they taste the same but just as chicks are yellow, the best bunnies are pink.

Peeps Minis Taste Test: Vanilla Creme, Strawberry Creme, Sour Watermelon, Chocolate Creme
Winner: VANILLA CREME!
These are all pretty gross (Watermelon, talking to YOU), and they are weirdly deflated, so take the win with a grain of sugar... er... salt.

Peeps Mystery Taste Test: Mystery Bunnies & Mystery Chicks
Winner: MYSTERY CHICKS!
These limited-edition bunnies (sour apple?) and chicks (pineapple?) were more fun to guess than to eat. 

Chocolate-Covered Peep Taste Test: Milk & Dark Chocolate Peepsters & Milk & Dark Chocolate-Covered Peeps
Winner: DARK CHOCOLATE-COVERED PEEP
Dipping these in choc makes them beyond sweet, so while I usually go for milk, dark is the better bet here.

Peeps Delights Taste Test: Orange, Lemon & Lime
Winner: LEMON!
These would be better if they weren't also dipped in tropical chocolate, but lemon is as refreshing as a marshmallow can be.

Chocolate-Dipped Peeps Taste Test: Plain, Strawberry,  Sugar Cookie, Milk & Dark Chocolate
Winner: MILK CHOCOLATE!
I don't love any of these, but if I had to pick, I'm going with this little fella.

Peeps Novelties: Bunnies & Peeps on a Stick, Decorated Eggs & the Jumbo Bunny
Winner: RAINBOW PEEPS ON A STICK!
This is just fun to eat.  Plus mine was already stale, which was ok by me.

Peeps Flavors Taste Test: Blue Raspberry, Sour Watermelon, Sweet Lemonade, Bubble Gum, Party Cake & Orange Creme
Winner: ORANGE CREME!
This was the best part -- the rest of these (minus the Lemonade) are totally inedible (especially Bubble Gum -- blech).
But Orange tastes just like a Creamsicle and is totally delicious.  I wish I had another pack.  Or seven.

To summarize: Go for the yellow chicks, the pink bunnies, and if you find the Orange Creme, give me a call.

Thank God I got to the bottom of this.

Now, this is what happens when you have too much time and too many Peeps on your hands. This is my dining room table -- the coffee table could not possibly contain all this Peep-y goodness.

And yes, there are more than 50 different kinds of Peeps up in here:

Finally, I know today is Easter, and that's cool, but tomorrow is the better holiday.

It's the Day-After-Easter Candy Sale (aka Pink Monday).  Ok okaaay, I just made up that nickname, but the holiday is 100% legit.

Here's how you participate:
1) Go to CVS and clear out a shelf of cheap Easter candy
2) Pay for it (don't forget your mile-long receipt)
3) Eat all the deliciousness knowing every pound you gain is a dollar you saved

But be quick like a bunny -- chubby grandmas get up early!


tags: food, holidays, taste tests