Another Night at The Roxbury

Four years ago, I visited two dear friends who built a motel in the Catskills.  I've been wanting to go back ever since.  And a week ago, I finally did. 

To call The Roxbury a motel, hotel, resort, inn, or lodge doesn't do it justice. 

Really, it's an experience.

Remember that place you stayed that you thought was super cool?  This is super cooler. 

The best destinations are always innovating.  Go to Las Vegas or Times Square or Disney World and it's different every time you visit.  The same thing happens at The Roxbury. 

Every square inch has been given purpose.  Every corner reveals a new surprise.  Every sense is invited to the party. 

You could seriously spend a month there and have a different experience every single night.  I'm totally temped to do that so I can indulge my alter egos.  Sweet as pie like Maryann from Gilligan's Island one night.  Kickass 70's glam like Charlie's Angels the next. 

This time, I went for the newest jewel in The Roxbury crown -- The Digs.  It's a standalone 3-bedroom cottage that is a tribute to adventure movies, complete with a legend, a curse, secret passageways, an underwater tomb, and more golden artifacts than you can shake a whip at.

I should warn you first -- most of my pics stink.  The best way to appreciate this masterpiece is to book a trip.  Seriously.  Go ahead. 

I'll wait...

Ok, good. 

Now, ditch your fear of snakes (there's only alligators and deadly fish here), don't call me junior, and grab your bomber jacket.  It's going to be a wild ride...



The adventure starts with Avis.  They really do try harder. 
Like when they give you a Mustang for the price of a Ford Focus. 

Enjoy the 3 hour trip while listening to Taylor "I Knew You Were Trouble" Swift on repeat.
Just like Indy would.  Remind yourself that the green stuff you see is called trees and grass.

You arrive.  This whole place is yours. 
You marvel how your entire apartment can fit on the deck.

Hello, Sphinx.

You won't believe what's behind this psychedelic door.

Beware of the giant boulder chasing you down the hallway.
The snake wallpaper was designed by Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo fame. 
You whip it good in his honor.

You escape into hidden passageway #1, which holds a Mayan Calendar and a Murphy bed. 
What more could you want when the world ends?

You study up on the legend of The Digs.

Settle into the cozy living room, filled with treasures.  What you can't quite see over the fireplace is
a giant television, which is programmed to play mood music when you arrive. 
Or maybe that was just for me, because I don't worship golden idols.  I worship TV.

This is somebody else's photo, but I couldn't resist using it.  The fireplace is gorgeous.
And filled with gold coins.

Ok, I can't wait any longer -- THIS is the best part of the adventure.  Your very own exotic fishtank!
I'm not showing you who's inside until later...

You look up and realize every nook and cranny of this place has the most amazing details.
Tucked away on the left is a special idol that sits under a skylight so it glows from sunrise to sunset.

You notice the masks on the wall and feel like somebody's watching you. 
Inside hidden passageway #2, maybe they are!

The bright sunlight ruins your picture of the gourmet kitchen, but you can still see it's beautiful.
You are so in love with all the counterspace this kitchen has that you are tempted to lay on it.
But you don't.

Your journey has made you parched, so you stop for a sip of your enemy's blood.
From a crystal skull.

You wander into the hallway, lined with books from floor to ceiling.

You can access about 5 different rooms in the secret library hallway. 
Pulling on the right books open the doors.  Just like in Scooby Doo!



Remember that fishtank from the living room?  You can see it from the bathroom too! 
You pass out from excitement.

When you come to, you see Cleopatra's sarcophagus under water, protected by exotic fish. 
The lionfishes are pretty. 
This puffy one in the front has creepy teeth and stares at you while you shower.
 

You paint your nails in tribute to the gold tiles that line the shower.
Then you have a midnight photo shoot to celebrate how well they match.

 

You are spoiled by all the luxurious bath products.  Even better are the ceramic hairdryer and gigantic bath sheets. 
While this is an adventure, you are very pleased you don't have to get all MacGuyver
with a bathmat, washcloth, and hairband to patch together enough towel to wrap around your body.

 

The photo you take of this room looks like a giant brown blob.  So you pull one off the Internet
so every inch of this brown leather masterpiece, including the handmade bullwhip canopy, can be appreciated.

 

You lose your head and forget to take more pictures of the second bathroom, which is lined
from floor to ceiling with crocodile and alligator skins. And you realize you don't know
the difference between a crocodile and an alligator.

You accidentally delete the photo you took of the most beautiful bed you've ever seen.  Thank God for Google. 
You can't tell if you feel like you're floating down the Nile because the bed was almost lost
in a tsunami on the way to the Roxbury or because the bedding is fluffy like a cloud. 
Either way, it's the best night's sleep you've had in a year.

Hello, pretty lady.

You're surprised that a chair this beautiful can also be comfortable.

You peek your head outside to your own private grotto and outdoor shower. 
You are tempted to shower again.

You discover a romantic sitting area outside the grotto.  You make a mental note that if you
ever have a boyfriend again, you'll take him here.  Until then, you name the statue on the table Chuck.

You follow the path down to a babbling brook and think that the true adventure would be if you
pretended to check-out then secretly moved into the barn...

Are your bags packed yet?  Which room would YOU stay in -- Cleopatra with the golden sleighbed, Indy with the bullwhips overhead, or the Mayan temple hideaway bed? 

Choose your own adventure below...
 

tags: travel