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Jingle All the Way

Last Friday, I finally awoke from a triptophan coma (gobble, gobble) to attend Jingle Ball, a 4-hour Christmas concert sponsored by I Heart Radio and Z-100.

If you ever want to feel old, go to a radio station concert meant for tweens.  If you ever want to feel young, buy a beer at MSG -- they still card, even at my advanced age.

Bless their hearts.

I was there with one of my best buds, we can have fun anyplace.  The evening was a smorgasbord of celebrities (Katie Holmes, Anna Kendrick, Ryan Seacrest), random rockstars (Enrique Iglesias, Fall Out Boy, Selena Gomez, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis), and desperate attention seekers (Lindsay Lohan).

Plus, the tix were free.  What's not to love?

Here are the highlights:

Happiest to Be Alive: Pitbull

This guy loves life.  And why shouldn't he?  Looking all dapper in a black suit and dress shirt that didn't show any of the sweat that was beading up on his bald head, he hosted a hottie hoedown with dancing girls in denim cutoffs and cowboy boots.  His set was a total party -- def my fave act of the night.
Best Song: Timber

Biggest Realization: Robin Thicke

I was psyched to hear Blurred Lines.  And it was good!  Then I realized I don't care about any of his other songs (except When I Get You Alone).  It was nice that he played the piano.  And he actually sang.  And I appreciated that he dressed up in a leopard jacket.  But one fact remained: I don't care about any of his other songs.
Best Song: what do you think?

Worst Lip Syncher: Austin Mahone

I knew I was out of my element when Jordin Sparks called all the "Mahomeys in the house."  I'm sorry... the WHO?  A man-child bounced out with an iridescent silver suit and Bieber's hairdo.  Then he began to sing.  And by sing, I mean forget to move his mouth because he was too busy looking like a dancing teenage Tin Man.  And so, we started taking selfies to pass the time until the next act came on.
Best Song: Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Stinky poo-poo.

Coolest Band: Paramore

Lead singer, Hayley Williams, just seems awesome.  But during Misery Business, she plucked a fan from the audience (Brian), brought him up onstage, and handed him the mic to sing the chorus.  She totally made his life -- and a great moment in the show.
Best Song: Still Into You

Most Criminal Remake: Ariana Grande

Apparently this doe-eyed Disney princess has been dubbed "Little Mariah."  But the Supreme Queen of All Christmas Songs must be weeping over the aggravated assault committed against Wham!  Ariana gave Last Christmas a whiny beat-down.  Geez, what did George Michael ever do to YOU?
Best Song: I have no clue what any of her songs are called.

Hardest Act to Follow: Miley Cyrus

The star of the show was Miley "Hanna Montana Is Dead" Cyrus.  Good thing she went last.  Let's start with the outfit: I'm pretty sure Mrs Claus bedazzled Jane Fonda's aerobics suit from 1982 and Miley bought it in a yard sale.  Then she spent her time onstage grinding on a drunk hobo Santa, a sexy little person, and a drag queen dressed like a Christmas tree.  She's a mess.  But boy, can that girl sing!
Best Song: Wrecking Ball

What songs put YOU in the holiday spirit?  Serenade me below...

tags: holidays, music, pop culture


Jessica said...

All I Want For Christmas Is You best holiday dong ever!

chris said...

So that's where you were! Looks like a fun night. Merry merry :)