We're Not In Pine Brook Anymore

new york looks prettiest from new jersey

We all know that DVRs, on-demand, and online streaming shows have forever changed the way we watch television -- to the point that we don't even watch it on a television anymore.

The Jetsons would be super jealous.

Obviously, I have a cable package fit for a queen with every movie channel under the sun. And I already had Netflix and Amazon Prime, but I recently caved in and got Hulu too, thanks to a little Mindy Kaling show I love.

But some things never change. Hold on to your taters, friends -- fall 2015 TV shows are here!

I started these reviews in 2009 and followed up in 2010 with a fascinating (ahem) account of my DVR schedule juggling act. Mrs. Potato Head made a guest appearance in 2011.  The Loveseat Potato was born (picked? harvested?) in 2012.  In 2013, she found a spuddy buddy to watch alongside and in 2014 she was surrounded by a scary herd of cats.

Sounds about right.

You'll recall that I... err, the Loveseat Potato... likes to bag a few episodes of each new show before passing judgment.  This year, she watched 44 different shows for you and invited some fry guys along for the fun.

They are in a hot tub, like on The Bachelorette.

So, without further delay, pass the ketchup and chew on this...


BEST NEW DRAMA:
SPUD: Wicked City (ABC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
1980s. LA. Serial killers. Chuck Bass. This show makes me want to snort some baby aspirin and go kill a drifter! Jeremy Sisto's also in it. And while he looks like he brushed his hair with a fork, I think he's handling 40 just fine.

Honorable mention goes to: Public Morals (TNT -- Ed Burns, you can do no wrong), Limitless (CBS -- interesting because I didn't like the movie at all), Flesh & Bone (Starz), Narcos (Netflix), Sneaky Pete (Amazon)

DUDS: Blindspot (NBC), Quantico (ABC), Code Black (CBS), Rosewood (FOX), The Player (NBC)



BEST NEW COMEDY:
SPUD: The Grinder (FOX)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Rob Lowe is beautiful and funny. Here, he's not a lawyer, but he played one on TV. Fred Savage really steals the show as an actual lawyer. The writing is snappy and it's fun to see that Kevin Arnold's all growns up. The only strange thing is the name, given that Grindr is a gay men's dating site (not like Tinder, which is just meant for straight men and whores).

Honorable mention goes to: Crazy Ex Girlfriend (CW), The Muppets (ABC), Life in Pieces (CBS), Blunt Talk (Starz), Ballers (HBO), Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp (Netflix), Casual (Hulu), Difficult People (Hulu), Catastrophe (Amazon), Grandfathered (FOX -- this isn't that good, but I love me some Stamos -- sue me)

DUDS: Dr. Ken (ABC), Truth Be Told (NBC -- Zack Morris, quit it), Grace & Frankie (Netflix)


BEST NEW SUPERNATURAL:
SPUD: Scream Queens (FOX)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Ryan Murphy. If Glee and American Horror Story had a baby, it would be this show. Jamie Lee Curtis is the original scream queen and Emma Roberts was born to play Chanel No. 1. It's totally hilarious, the music is amazing, and Oliver Hudson is much better on this show than he is on Nashville.

Honorable mention goes to: American Horror Story: Hotel (FX), Supergirl (CBS)

DUDS: The Bastard Executioner (FX), Minority Report (FOX)




BEST NEW REALITY:
SPUD: Project Greenlight (HBO)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: Ok okaaaay.  I know it's not new, but it hasn't been on for like a decade so it counts. This director is the most delusional yet, and I might actually watch The Leisure Class (unlike the other movies made -- The Battle of Shaker Heights, Stolen Summer, and another stinker I can't remember).

Honorable mention goes to: The Comment Section (E!), Apres Ski (Bravo), Chef's Table (Netflix)

DUDS: Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (NBC -- love you NPH but I just don't know what to do with all this craziness), The Jacksons: The Next Generation (Lifetime), Sex in Public (TLC), Real Housewives of NJ: Teresa Checks In (Bravo -- shame on you!)


BEST CURRENT SHOW THAT'S NEW AGAIN:
SPUD: Undateable (NBC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This was a mediocre one-note sitcom about relationships. Then, last season they did a live episode and it was AMAZING. Now the whole show is live. Every week. Which makes it 1000x more watchable. I love when they break character, and the celeb cameos (TV's Scott Foley, I'm talking to YOU), and the new credits each week, and the band, and the references to stuff actually happening in the world. Take it to church!






BEST SHOW THAT'S NOT ON TV:
SPUD: Red Oaks (Amazon)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
It takes place in the 1980s in Jersey and I swear when I was 14 I took tennis lessons at the same country club it's based on. So I loved it instantly. I'm even finally getting used to Jennifer Grey's new face. Easy to binge on the whole season in a day.









Lastly, it's time to roast a show I wanted to love (really, I did!), but I didn't:

MOST DISAPPOINTING SHOW OF THE FALL SEASON:
DUD: Blood & Oil (ABC)

WHY IT'S A ROTTEN POTATO:
Oh man, I really was looking forward to this one. It seemed like a Dallas and Revenge mashup, with a splash of Miami Vice and a Gossip Girl cherry on top. Oil tycoons doing what they do best -- double-crossing each other. So, what could be bad? Well, the acting for one. The writing for another. And don't even get me started on the plot. So... no bueno. I'll hang in for a bit longer. Maybe they'll hit a gusher. But more than likely, it will just get drilled.






Disagree?  See anything I missed?  Put the DVR on pause and comment below...


tags: entertainment


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5 comments:

chris said...

this is my favorite post you do loooove Scream Queens

Anonymous said...

WICKED CITY IS FANTASTIC

Jessica said...

I agree with almost all your picks but how can you not like Blood & Oil? Chace Crawford is gorg.

Anonymous said...

The bestshows are on Netflix, Amazon and Hulu :)

Anonymous said...

WICKED CITY WAS CANCELLED