Bunny Treats

I hate eggs.  Actual, from a chicken, eggs.  Can't stand 'em.

All kinds?  Yes.  But what about [insert gag-worthy eggy dish here]?  Nooo thank you.  What?!?  Get over it.

As far as I'm concerned, the MVP of the Easter basket is the Reese's Peanut Butter Egg.  I could eat a whole rack before the ham hits the table.

Now, everyone knows the single wrapped egg is a tease.  Real eggs travel in packs.  Buy the sixer.

But if you haven't noticed, Reese's bunnies have been busy multiplying.  Just in case the bright neon lights of your local drug store, super store, or super market make you woozy and you accidentally pick up a different Reese's Easter candy, do NOT panic.

I am here for you.

I have tried them all, and have the ill-fitting pants to prove it.  Here's what should hop, skip, and jump right into your piehole.

Let's start with the duds.  You'll want to skip these:

Skip Reester Bunnies

Here's why:
They just don't taste very good.  The peanut butter to chocolate ratio is totally off.  The only thing this dude has going for him is that he is not hollow -- THOSE are an abomination.  Still, he's only smiling because he tricked you into buying a sub-par bunny.

Skip Reese's Novelties

Here's why:
These are a flash in the pan.  I think they're supposed to tempt you with their unusual shapes.  And the orange Reese's Pieces carrot is kind of cute.  But the rest of them stink.  The big yellow egg was a hodgepodge that included the white egg (gross). The 8 egg carton was just silly.  And the chicken sitting on top of a stack of mini cups is like a lazy man's Pez dispenser, but no where near as fun.

Skip All Reese's Minis

Here's why:
These are dangerous.  They are small, and it's way too easy to eat 10 without realizing it.  But they taste like sadness because they're inferior to the full-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or Reese's Peanut Butter Egg.  If you like these little nuggets better, you probably also like black jelly beans.  And we can't be friends.

Sorry.





Ok, now for the good stuff.  Hop right on over to these:

Giant Reese's Eggs

Here's why:
These are GIANT eggs.  Loaded with peanut butter.  That you need to cut with a knife.

Do I really need to say more?

Reese's Pieces Eggs

Here's why:
These are actually tasty.  I thought they would be bad.  I was crazy.  Imagine the Cadbury Mini Egg if it was made from peanut butter.  Sounds pretty good, right?  It is.  But avoid the weird Eggbeaters carton package and just buy the sack. Also, get yourself some of those Cadbury Mini Eggs.  They're also quite delicious.

(I'm sure you can guess how I feel about gloopy Cadbury Creme Eggs.  Cluck no.)

Classic Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs

Here's why:
These make life worth living.  Nom nom nom nom nom.











Is there anything better than seasonal chocolate treats?  Well, yes, I can think of about 10 things without even trying.  Still, they're pretty tasty.  List your own faves below...

Thank you, Easter Bunny!


tags: food, holidays, taste tests

Up in the Air

I spent a good chunk of February flying the friendly skies.

I went to Phoenix, Orlando, Chicago, and San Francisco, on US Airways, United, JetBlue, American (first class -- woo hoo), Delta, and just today on Virgin America. I'm pretty sure 6 airlines on 4 trips is the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do to rack up miles.

Anyway, it was my first time on Virgin, so I was curious to see how it matched up to my first love, JetBlue.

I can say with confidence that Virgin wins on: cool boarding passes, mood lighting, and the most epic video in the history of safety (see it below -- srsly).

The airlines tie on: newness of planes, niceness of crew, good in-flight entertainment, and paid snacks.

JetBlue wins on: price, seat comfyness, stretchy legroom (by a kneecap), and yummy, unlimited free snacks.

So, JB is still my fave.  But VA was still pretty cool.  Know what wasn't cool?  The jerkoff who sat next to me.

Actually, let me be clear: Nobody was *technically* next to me. I was in my beloved window seat and HE was in the aisle seat.  But he sure made himself at home.

Sack full of his food on the empty seat?  Check.  His big fat carry-on bag on the empty floor?  Yup.  His drinks strewn about the empty tray table?  You bet.  Mind you, this is in addition to is OWN actual seat/floor/table.  He spread his shit out like he was the Oscar Madison of the skies.

An empty middle seat is a gift!  It is not to be taken lightly!  I don't understand how someone could be so arrogant and presumptuous to take up all that neutral shared space. I wanted to say something but I thought, I'm stuck with this fool for 5 hrs, let's not make it miserable.  But my blood boiled with each item that inched my way.

About 3 hours in, gum wrappers were my final straw. I leaned over Garbage Mountain and asked...

"Did you purchase this seat?"
"No," he sneered.
"You're ALL OVER the place!" I said, while waving my hands around. "I'm just in this tiny little spot!"
"Well..." he stammered, "you can use it too."
"WHERE?!?"

Message delivered. He began packing up the junk.  The food bag went inside the carry-on bag, he folded up the spare tray, and miracle of miracles, he found room for his drinks on his table. But the war wasn't over.

This grown man fought back with an "assive" aggressive gas attack that stunk like death and toenails.

Vile human.

We didn't speak again until it was time to de-plane.  We were in row 17, and he sat until the bitter end, blocking me in even though I was actively getting scoliosis because I'm too tall to stand under an overhead bin.

At that time, he turned to me and shouted, "YOU'RE VERY RUDE!!"

My head almost popped off.

Then, he scurried away in a fart cloud.

So, did I overreact?  (maybe.)  Did he deserve it?  (yes.)  Do two rudes make a right?  (I dunno.)

Vote in the poll:


Ok, okaaaay, maybe I need to cool my jets. Or start calling myself Maverick.  I blame the 'roids.

Let's end on a high note with that safety video.  It's worth a watch.  I dare you not to smile and sing along:



tags: polls, travel

Super Bowl Ad Showdown

It's been a while, huh?  Happy 2015!

Sorry I haven't blogged in ages.  I've been busy practicing urban bee-keeping.

Who am I kidding?  I can't even keep a plant alive.  (No, seriously, my aunt gave me a ficus a few weeks ago and already it's on death's door.)

What I've really been busy doing is working.  And watching TV.  And working.

Well, as luck would have it, the Super Bowl is where my love of work and TV collide.  I guess the game was exciting, but as always, I'm in it for the commercials.  And the snacks.

Most brands release their commercials in advance, so on the Friday before the game, we gathered with a great bunch of teenage girls around a Snackadium and asked them to watch a few ads for the way women were depicted in them.  But little did we know this would be the year of the Super Sentimental Bowl.  Paying for hamburgers with hugs?  Check.  Crying dads in cars?  Check.  Cat's in the Cradle?  Check.  Puppies?  Of course!

I didn't know whether to throw a flag or a hankie.  None of those made my list.

Here are my faves from SB49:

Funniest Commercial: "Very Brady" by Snickers



Sexiest Commercial: "Little Blue Pill" by Fiat



Best Use of Celebrities: "Invisible Mindy" by Nationwide



Best Commercial I've Seen Before: "#LikeaGirl" by Always



 Best Commercial That Never Aired: "Angels Play Football" by Victoria's Secret



Most Depressing Commercial Ever In the History of Advertising: "Make Safe Happen" by Nationwide



Best Video of Teens Reviewing Commercials (because I made it)



Agree?  Disagree?  Are you still reading?  Tell me all about it below...


tags: commercials, holidays, sports, work