The Loveseat Potato Rides Again

If you know me at ALL, you know I love TV. It goes on the minute I walk in the door and stays on all night long.

(That's healthy, right?)

Bravo is my channel of choice.  I even started a website all about it.

In fact, I wish I had MORE time to watch. Then, maybe I would get into deep. well-written, plot-driven dramas.  But frankly, I don't have the appetite for more than a couple of those each season.  Mostly it's reality & comedies for me because I like my TV like I like my taters.

Light and fluffy.

I started these reviews in 2009 and followed up in 2010 with a fascinating (ahem) account of my DVR schedule juggling act. Mrs. Potato Head made a guest appearance in 2011.  The Loveseat Potato was born (picked? harvested?) in 2012.  In 2013, she found a spuddy buddy to watch alongside and in 2014 she was surrounded by a scary herd of cats. 2015 brought the fry guys in a hot tub (my homage to the Bachelorette), 2016 was the year of chips and dips, and 2017 was totally refried to reflect all the recycled shows that returned to the airwaves.

The fall 2018 TV season hasn't been mind-blowing, but there have been a few tasty nuggets.  So the Loveseat Potato hunkered down in bed for a weekend and binged on 30 new shows, with a minimum of 2 episodes per.

Here's how they all stacked up...

BEST NEW COMEDY:

SPUD: The Kids Are Alright (ABC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: This show is a lot like The Wonder Years, but set in the 70s. It centers on an Irish-Catholic family raising 8 kids, which is funny, but my fave part is all the toys and clothes and foods I remember from my childhood.  Plus, Mary McCormack is awesome, and in the best role since she played Howard Stern's wife in Private Parts.  Watch this!

Honorable mention goes to: I Feel Bad (NBC), Camping (HBO), Single Parents (ABC)

REFRIED POTATOES: Murphy Brown (CBS), Last Man Standing (FOX), The Conners (ABC)

DUDS: Happy Together (CBS), The Neighborhood (CBS), The Cool Kids (FOX)



BEST NEW DRAMA:

SPUD: You (Lifetime)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: This is a dark and creepy one, told from the perspective of a stalker (played by Gossip Girl himself, Penn Badgley).  It's based on a book, which I haven't read.  But once I heard John Stamos was in it too, it was #1 with a bullet.

Honorable mention goes to: The Romanoffs (Amazon), All American (CW), Maniac (Netflix)

REFRIED POTATOES: Charmed (CW), Magnum PI (CBS)

DUDS: A Million Little Things (ABC), The Rookie (ABC), New Amsterdam (ABC), God Friended Me (CBS)






BEST NEW REALITY:

SPUD: Get a Room with Carson & Thom (Bravo)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: Man, I missed these two!  Arguably the best two OGs from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy -- Carson Kressley & Thom Felicia -- are together again decorating spaces in and around NYC, and I could watch them for hours. The best part is they have PERSONALITY, which is severely lacking from all the other shiplap-laiden home deco shows.  Looove!

Honorable mention goes to: Welcome to Waverly (Bravo), Unanchored (Bravo)

REFRIED POTATOES: Dancing with the Stars Juniors (ABC), Married at First Sight Honeymoon Island (Lifetime), Jersey Shore Family Vacation (MTV)

DUDS: Bravo's Play by Play with Jerry O'Connell (Bravo), How Far Is Tattoo Far? (MTV), Busy Tonight (E!)


BEST SHOW I HAVEN'T SEEN YET:

SPUD: Dirty John (Bravo)

WHY IT WILL BE A SMASH: For starters, I'll watch anything with Connie Britton in it.  This show, based on a true story and adapted from a podcast, is about a rich and lonely woman who falls for a sociopath.  Ah, a tale old as time.  Can't wait.













Disagree? See anything I missed?  Put the DVR on pause and comment below...

The Essentials

It's been awhile, huh?  I'm the WORST.  

Not sure what I've been so busy doing? (Working, eating, breathing, decking the halls, and, of course, watching TV.)  

I am kind of loving my new TV site.  I feel like a couch potato for Science. At least, that's what I tell myself mid-binge.

Anyway, for the most part, actual actors haven't noticed anything I've posted about them -- except for the crazy talented stars of Crazy Ex Girlfriend. 

They're crazy awesome.

Reality stars have been delightful. I've hit the radars of people on Below Deck, Real Housewives of the OC, Big Brother, The Challenge and most recently, Floribama Shore (which you need to watch, like, now).

I even got a like from Byrd the Bailiff on Judge Judy!  

It was life-changing.

Anyway, there's this new show on Bravo called Stripped -- is anyone watching this thing?  It's nuts. They take EVERYTHING from you -- even your clothes -- and every day for 3 weeks you can take a single item back (from a storage shed a mile away -- which you walk to naked or covered with leaves or pizza boxes from the neighbor's trash).

Once you get past the floppy pixels, it's actually an interesting social experiment and it got me thinking: If I could only have 21 items -- one per day -- what would I take and in what order would I take it?

Keep in mind, on the show, you do get your empty house as shelter, you have a sink/shower/toilet, packaged food, water, and toiler paper.

They're not monsters!

But you still have to go to work and see people.  Ok, maybe they ARE monsters.

I'd never actually be on this show, but here's my list of items I can't live without. One for each day:

1. Maxi dress -- The MVP. I just can't be naked. This will cover my whole body with a single item.
2. Sleeper sofa -- A two-in-one for sleeping and sitting - genius!
3. Toothpaste -- By day 3 my breath will peel the paint off walls. I will use my finger to brush.
4. Cell phone + charger -- iPhone is life.
5. Sneakers -- My feet will be disgusting and I've prob been using couch cushions as shoes.
6. Antibacterial soap -- To scrub my filthy feet, pits & hands. I will use it as shampoo too.
7. Blanket -- I can wear it while I air out my stinky dress AND it doubles as a towel. Comforting.
8. License -- Because I get carded at bars. Kidding. Because I'm about to get my car back.
9. Car + keys -- Will make it far easier to go back and forth to storage. And to get to work.
10. Amex card -- There's honestly nothing an Amex can't do.
11. Deodorant -- Before my coworkers are certain that garbage stench is me.
12. Sweater -- I'm probably freezing in that dress. 
13. Leggings -- Because the dress is unraveling and downright funky by now. I would burn it but... no matches.
14. Lamp -- I'm afraid of the dark. I hope it comes with a lightbulb.
15. Refrigerator -- It might be nice to have some fruit so I don't get scurvy.
16. Microwave -- Now we're cooking.  Two words: Hot. Pockets.
17. Laptop + power cord -- Mainly because I'm going cross-eyed watching Netflix on my phone.
18. Lip gloss -- This seems dumb, I know, but I REALLY love lip gloss. Might be addicted.
19. Comb -- With shiny lips, my hair will look worse.  Make it wide tooth -- knots will be v bad.
20. Fork  -- Eating like a caveman for 3 weeks was getting old. 
21. Pillow -- To silence the screams when I finally look in a mirror.

So that's my list of essentials.  Know what I didn't pick?  

No toothbrush, no razor, no socks, no undies, no bra (guard your eyes), and oddly, no TV!  (Technically.)

So what are YOUR essentials? List them below... and watch Floribama Shore.  It will not disappoint.

Refried Potatoes

Ok, so everybody knows this tater loves her TV.

Reality. Comedies. Dramas. Documentaries. Mysteries. Game shows. Talk shows. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.

Give me all of it!

I've also been busy on a side project called... Jen Loves TV.

Any clue what it's about?

Of course, I'll still be writing here about all sorts of random things.  But that other site, Twitter and Instagram will be for my totally healthy, normal and casual interest in all things televised.

You may be wondering if this new site is for you. I suggest you take this quiz to know for sure.


Ok so back to our potato.  This fall season she was ready to serve up a slew of new shows, but guess what?

The world has officially run out of ideas because a lot of new shows are really just old potatoes.

Think potato croquettes. Potato soup.  Potato salad.  Tater tots.

There were SO many leftovers that I had to add a category below -- Refried Potatoes.  Like always, I -- that is, the Loveseat Potato -- watched at least 2 episodes of each show (30 in all!) to sort the spuds from the duds.

Grab a bag of stale chips and munch on this...


BEST NEW COMEDY

SPUD: Young Sheldon (CBS)
WHY IT'S A SMASH: This is a spinoff of The Big Bang Theory, a show I don't actually watch. But I'm a sucker for a nerdy kid, and this one's pretty cute.

Honorable Mention Goes To: The Guest Book (TBS), The Mayor (ABC)

REFRIED POTATOES: Will & Grace (NBC), Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO), Kevin Can Wait (CBS -- not 100% recycled, but they killed off the wife so they could recreate the chemistry from King of Queens so it counts)

DUDS: 9JKL (CBS), Me Myself & I (CBS), Friends From College (Netflix)


BEST NEW DRAMA

SPUD: Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (ABC)
WHY IT'S A SMASH: I loved John Ritter, and I love Jason Ritter too -- he's cute and likable, just like his dad. Seems like a sweet show.

Honorable Mention Goes To: The Deuce (HBO), The Sinner (USA), Ozark (Netflix), Glow (Netflix)

REFRIED POTATOES: Dynasty (CW)

DUDS: Ten Days in the Valley (ABC), Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders (NBC), I'm Dying Up Here (HBO), Wisdom of the Crowd (CBS)



BEST NEW REALITY

SPUD: Celebrity Big Brother (CBS)
WHY IT'S A SMASH: It hasn't even aired yet, but the rest of the new reality lineup is crap. This UK hit is coming to the US this winter and I can't wait.

Honorable Mention Goes To: Siesta Key (MTV), Beat Shazam (FOX -- it's basically Name That Tune, but I like it)

REFRIED POTATOES: Battle of the Network Stars (ABC), Love Connection (FOX), Joker's Wild (TBS), TRL (MTV), My Super Sweet 16 (MTV)

DUDS: 90's House (MTV), American Beauty Star (Lifetime), A Night With My Ex (Bravo), Real Estate Wars (Bravo)


Disagree? See anything I missed?  Pass the onion dip, put the DVR on pause and comment below...

PS: I gave the blog a facelift -- what do you think?

The (Not So) New Gilmore Girls Stunk and I Still Can't Get Over It

I know Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life aired over Thanksgiving and today is Valentine's Day.

But I waited to post about it until now, in part because I didn't want to spoil it for anybody. And because I still can't believe they screwed it up so badly.

Also because I am lazy.

Man, I wanted to love it, but it broke my heart.

In all this time, I've thought about WHY I hated it (and my mom hated it, and my friends at work hated it).  Mainly, I think it's because the plot, the people, and the dialogue were SO ridiculous and out of character from the SEVEN seasons we all watched and loved, I honestly don't know why they bothered to do it at all.

You know the old saying, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?

Not tonight.

Given that this is such a mother-daughter show, and I watched this whole series several times with my own mom, we couldn't wait to binge our way through the seasons. But we knew we entered an alternate universe when Winter started without even one note from Carole King, and it was downhill from there.

Here's why we want NO more Gilmore:

LORELAI, The Cool Mom

MOM: Lorelai was very dull. She wasn't chipper. She didn't have any spunk. Her dialogue wasn't cute or funny. She was dull dull dull.

ME: She dressed like a grandma. She stopped talking fast. She was depressed. She's in therapy. With her MOM. She read a book instead of watching a movie. She went H-I-K-I-N-G. In nature! Who the eff is this woman?

RORY, The Pride of Stars Hollow

MOM: OMG Rory,  What a hopeful, beautiful, smart, young lady she was. She knew exactly what she wanted.  She had her eye on being a journalist.  What happened to that girl?  She was a loser!  She didn't have the joy.  She couldn't do anything right. Just blew my mind.

ME: I get why she's trans-Atlantic friends with benefits with Logan. I might see how she went from following then president-elect Obama on the campaign trail to running the snoozy Stars Hollow Gazette. I can even live with the infamous "last four words" that brings the story full circle --  Logan is her Christopher. I'm NOT on board that a girl with so much potential is basically a failure. But what really I can't abide by is how Rory Gilmore had a one night stand (her first!) with a Wookie from ComiCon.  Unacceptable on a thousand levels.

EMILY, The Stuffy Grandmother

MOM: I like the mother. She was right getting mad at Lorelai. But it was like she had a lobotomy! The husband dies and she's like a nomad. Wearing rag tag jeans. She quits the DAR? Nobody checks on her -- nobody bothered?  It's like they didn't care about her any more since the father died.

ME: The JEANS! Were Emily's tweed Chanel suits burned in a fire? When did she start sleeping until noon?  Why is she living in Martha's Vineyard with the creepy dude from Twin Peaks? She works at a WHALE museum? She works?!?! Did she hit her head? Was Richard holding her captive for 50 years, and now she's letting her freak flag fly?  I need answers.

RICHARD, The Stuffy (and Dead) Grandfather

MOM: They didn't give the father the respect he should have gotten.  Especially with Lorelai, not even able to think of one wonderful memory and just made a joke out of a serious matter.  Absolutely disgraceful.

ME: Shameful! She couldn't tell a single nice story about her dad, who she actually had a good relationship with when he was living, and who made it possible for her daughter to go to private school and an ivy league college? The pretzel story was too little, too late. A shitty ending. Richard and his bowties deserved more.

LUKE, The Safe Choice

MOM: Luke's like a puppy dog.  He always there.  He's always loyal.  And he's always getting used. At least he had some spunk in the first series.  He stood up for himself as a man.  Now he just serves her.

ME: He's always been a devoted doormat. He was even an afterthought in his own wedding scene! And they clearly ran out of budget on pricey cameos (I see you Peter Krause), so they had to pull Luke's wardrobe out of mothballs. I'll bet you a donut that hat never left his head because his hair most certainly did.

LOGAN, The Rich Ex-Boyfriend Who Can't Grow Up

MOM: I thought that was ridiculous with Logan.  He asks her to marry him and she says no, that's not her focus.  Then you find out they're together on the sly while he's engaged to someone else?  Trashy. That's not Rory.

ME: Oh, Logan. He is trouble! I have to say, though, I def see the appeal there. But he's got to ditch the Peter Pan clan and rich kid antics with the Life & Death Brigade. It's called growth, people! And did we all forget that he already proposed to Rory, or did we wipe that memory clean because Amy Sherman Palladino didn't write it?

JESS, The Moody Ex-Boyfriend Who Can't Settle Down

MOM: I love the men in Rory's life but they were only there for a second -- especially Jess.  I couldn't understand why they didn't spend more time.  What was he doing with his life?  What happened to him?  I loved that character and he was there for 5 seconds.

ME: She hasn't seen him in years! Why is she so unfazed? Maybe she's been cyberstalking him and is trying to play it cool. Or maybe it's because they dated in real life and it didn't end so great. I'm going with the latter.

DEAN, The Dopey First Love

MOM: The other guy! Did he go to college?  Did he get married again?  He saw Rory for 2 minutes in a grocery store.  What a disaster!  Who wrote this? I loved this show!  You had such a good feeling.  It made you laugh. And cry. Some belly laughs even.  It was a such good story. I guess you can't improve perfection.

ME: He bored me then and he bores me now. So nothing's changed here. Adios, macaroni hair!

PARIS, The Frenemy Turned Fertility Doctor

MOM: Yes, that one makes sense. I like her now on How to Get Away with Murder.

ME: Yeah, she's intense. But how is she still hung up on Chad Michael Murray?!  He didn't even show up. C'mon!

LANE, The Sheltered Best Friend

MOM: Lane had a dad?

ME: Where the eff has Mr. Kim been all this time?  Never popped his head out of the antique shop.  Missed her wedding and her babies, and when she dyed her hair purple? And she's still in Hep Alien? No. Just no.

CHRISTOPHER, The Irresponsible Dad

MOM: The talk with her father went so fast.  He FINALLY got his act together and is no longer a failure.  It seemed like they haven't talked in a long time.  He didn't want to talk to her mother at all?  Who wrote this?  Seems like an alien wrote this!

ME: This made me angry! Not a single scene with "Lor"? Oh, no you didn't. It's the final straw. I. Literally. Cannot.



Now I'm all riled up again. Before we go, let's say something nice about the revival...

MOM: I can't say anything good about it.  The anticipation of watching it was fun.  But it was a letdown. That's it. The town is great -- I love the town.  It was the hope.  The same quaintness and light.  But then it seemed like the people weren't the same.  They have to grow but they were totally different.

ME: Samesies.


So how do you rate it?

MOM: I give it a C.  They made an effort.  I just didn't agree with it.

ME: You're grading on a curve.  I give it a ZERO.  I want those 6 hours back!


SO what do YOU think?  Do you agree?  Do you smell snow?  Write me a loveletter below...


tags: entertainment, family, pop culture, rants

Dip into Fall TV with the Loveseat Potato

The tater and I have been waiting a looooong time to post about fall TV because she wanted to see EVERYTHING.  But mainly, Gilmore Girls, which premiered on Netflix over Thanksgiving weekend.

She wanted to see that show more than she wanted pie!

So she watched, and I waited.

Grab the chips -- here goes...



MOST DISAPPOINTING NEW SHOW:

DUD: Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life (Netflix)

WHY IT'S A ROTTEN POTATO:
Oy. Where to begin? Let's start here: HATED IT. It pains me to say, but it's true.

I'm not even sure there's enough space here to explain why this was such a massive letdown so I'll have to do it in another post.  In a nutshell, errr... potato skin: It was depressing, the storylines were totally out of character for Lorelai, Rory & Emily, there were too many silly cameos with no real substance, the musical was sooo effing stupid, and the last 4 words were a cheap gimmick to trick you into wanting to see more of this dreck.

If you haven't already wasted 6 hrs on this, don't. Pack your bags, Stars Hollow. You really can't go home again.


Ok, now that rotten potato is out of the way, there's a LOT of TV out there.  And every year, it's time to rotate the crop, so the Loveseat Potato watched 32 new Fall TV shows for you, at least 2 episodes per show.  As always, there were spuds, and there were duds (I'm talking to YOU, Amy Sherman Palladino).

But one thing I noticed is that the best new shows have really awesome parts for women.

Tiny victories.

So, now it's about that time... chew on this:


BEST NEW DRAMA:

SPUD: Pitch (FOX)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This seriously might be my favorite new show. They had me at Zach Morris, but I love the concept of the first female MLB player.  And this storyline has action, and friendships, and rivalries, and romance, and mystery, and all the things that make a show good.  Baseball's a pretty boring sport to watch on TV but I will watch this game any day.

Honorable Mention Goes To: This Is Us (NBC), Bull (CBS), Designated Survivor (ABC), Queen Sugar (OWN), Atlanta (FX)

DUDS: Notorious (ABC), Pure Genius (CBS)



BEST NEW COMEDY:

SPUD: No Tomorrow (CW)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
A show about the apocalypse. Sounds adorable! But it is.  It starts with a chance meeting over a mis-delivered package.  Soon, this new couple realizes fate and some insane chemistry brought them together as they check off experiences on their bucket list before the world ends. Which btw, is in 8 months. Unless the show does well.  Then... um... apocalypse averted!

Honorable Mention Goes To: The Great Indoors (CBS), Divorce (HBO), American Housewife (ABC), The Good Place (NBC), Better Things (FX), Search Party (TBS)

DUDS: Insecure (HBO), Man With a Plan (CBS), Kevin Can Wait (CBS), Speechless (ABC)



BEST NEW FANTASY/ADVENTURE/MYSTERY:

SPUD: Good Behavior (TNT)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
She's an American, a criminal and a meth addict. She even cleans toilets! It's Lady Mary behaving badly. Michelle Dockery is a long way from Downton but this show is pretty addictive. She has a Bonnie & Clyde type-relationship with a hitman named Javier (don't we all?) and wears more wigs than Mary wore corsets. I'm not sure where this is headed, but I'm along for the ride...

Honorable Mention Goes To: Lethal Weapon (FOX), Westworld (HBO)

DUDS: Eyewitness (USA), Dead of Summer (Freeform), MacGyver (CBS)



BEST NEW REALITY:

SPUD: Martha & Snoop's Pot Luck Dinner Party (VH1)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This is a total shitshow in the BEST way. Martha & Snoop stand at dueling kitchens, putting their own spins on a main ingredient like chicken or lobster. They start with a cocktail then invite a couple of random celebs over to cook and play a party game.  You never know when a bedazzled chalice (filled with gin & juice) or a cheese grater on a chunky gold chain will appear.  Oh, and Snoop says grace before they eat.  Did I mention each fridge plays a song when you open it? Bon Appetizzle!

Honorable Mention Goes To: Finding Prince Charming (Logo)

DUDS: Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After? (Freeform)


BEST NEW SHOW THAT'S NOT ON TV:

SPUD: Good Girls Revolt (Amazon)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
I was skeptical of this one at first because the trailer made it feel like Mad Men on estrogen. While we all know sexism was alive and well in the 1960s at ad agencies, turns out it was also thriving in newsrooms -- and probably still is today. Based on a true story about Newsweek, News of the Week employees Anna Camp (of True Blood) and Hunter Parrish (of Weeds) are my faves here.  The show is more fluff than feminism at times -- and you can fast forward through every scene with a hand mirror -- but it's still worth a watch.

Honorable Mention Goes To: Fleabag (Amazon), Easy (Netflix)

DUDS: One Mississippi (Amazon)


Disagree? See anything I missed?  Pass the onion dip, put the DVR on pause and comment below...


tags: entertainment

Farewell, Crawleys

The Downton Abbey finale airs tonight.

You watch, right?  Don't tell me if you don't.

It has only been the most popular PBS drama of all time. When the finale aired across the pond at Christmas, it broke all records there too. It also has more Emmy nominations than any other international TV series ever. Show merchandise has made more than a quarter BILLION dollars.  They even sell Downton Abbey tea in the grocery store in my building.

Golly!

Eventually, we'll find another show to obsess over. After all, I'm totally over MadMen. But I'm certain there will never again be anything like a sisterly smackdown from Lady Mary Crawley.

It was fun to be fancy on Sunday nights! I was on the edge of my seat for the dangerous liasons of poor, dead Mr. Pamuk, and I swooned over Cousin Matthew's snowy proposal to Lady Mary, and I cried when Lady Edith (the original Jan Brady) was left at the altar and was psyched to see her become an accidental feminist, and I stood in solidarity with the downstairs staff to #FreeJohnBates.

But there's nothing I've enjoyed more than a zinger from the Dowager Countess.

So, for the finale, I'd like to pay tribute to Dame Maggie Smith (and Julian Fellowes who wrote EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) and thank them for a witty and wonderful 6 seasons:

Violet Crawley on the invention of electricity:
“I couldn’t have electricity in the house. I couldn’t sleep a wink. All those vapors seeping about.” (Season 1)

On the telephone:
“Is this an instrument of communication or torture?” (Season 1)

On the Industrial Revolution:
"First electricity, now telephones. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel." (Season 1)

On the joys of being a mother:
"One forgets about parenthood. The on-and-on-ness of it." (Season 3)

On love:
"I'm not a romantic, but even I concede that the heart does not exist solely for the purpose to pump blood." (Season 2)

On friendships:
"There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like. Avoiding one's friends, that's the real test." (Season 5)

On houseguests:
”No guest should be admitted without the date of their departure settled.” (Season 3)

On the general public:
"The presence of strangers is the only guarantee of good behavior." (Season 5)

On deep thoughts:
"All this endless thinking. It's very overrated... I blame the war. Before 1914 nobody thought about anything at all." (Season 5)

On the great outdoors:
"That is the thing about nature, there's so *much* of it." (Season 3)

On hearing jazz for the first time:
"Do you think that any of them know what the others are playing?" (Season 4)

On her granddaughter Lady Mary's new haircut:
"Oh, it is you! I thought it was a man in your clothes." (Season 5)

On her granddaughter Lady Edith's engagement to Sir Anthony Strallan:
”At my age, one must ration one’s excitement.” (Season 3)

On her granddaughter Lady Sybil's rebellious nature:
"Vulgarity is no substitute for wit." (Season 3)

On her son Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham, wearing a tuxedo to dinner:
“Do you think I might have a drink? Oh, I’m so sorry – I thought you were a waiter.” (Season 3)

On her daughter-in-law Cora's American mother, Martha Levinson:
“I’m so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I’m with her, I’m reminded of the virtues of the English.”  (Season 3)

On her grandson-in-law Matthew Crawley looking for a break from his job:
"What is a weekend?" (Season 1)

On her grandson-in-law Tom Branson's transition to the upstairs world:
"I'm afraid Tom's small talk is very small indeed!" (Season 4)

On her cousin Isobel Crawley's moral highground:
“I wonder your halo doesn’t grow heavy. It must be like wearing a tiara around the clock.” (Season 4)

On discussing financing a hospital with Cousin Isobel:
"Oh good, let's talk about money." (Season 1)

On servants being human beings too:
"Preferably only on their days off." (Season 5)

On her fellow countrymen:
"What makes the English the way we are? Some say our history, but I blame the weather." (Season 6)

On Sir Anthony Strallan's look at the altar before jilting Lady Edith:
"He looks as though he's waiting for a beating from the headmaster." (Season 3)

On whether a fire in a neighboring castle was a tragedy:
"Well, rather yes and no, that house *was* hideous... of course that is no excuse." (Season 3)

On a heated exchange between Robert and rabble-rouser/dinner guest, Miss Sarah Bunting:
"Principles are like prayers; noble, of course, but awkward at a party." (Season 5)

On the untimely death of Turkish diplomat Kemal Pamuk in a bedroom of Downton Abbey:
“Last night, he looked so well. Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s house.” (Season 1)


How fitting for the British to quit while they're ahead.  No growing long in the tooth for the upstairs and downstairs of Downton.  It would be bad form.

Farewell, my stuffy old friends!

PS: If you've very sad when the show ends, check this out.  It will cheer you up. Here's a peek:

tags: entertainment, pop culture

Grease Is the Word

I know I'm superlate with my first post of 2016.

A bunch of stuff happened since my last one --  I stuck my toes in the sand at Clearwater Beach, I binged on Making a Murderer like the rest of America, I went to Google's offices, and I got stuck in LA thanks to snowstorm Jonas. But tonight, I'm finally feeling inspired by the most amazing thing to happen all year.

I'm speaking, of course, of Grease Live.

Is there anything better on the planet than Grease?  If there is, I don't know it.  My love affair with the gang from Rydell High started at the ripe age of 5.  I had a red record player and Grease (double album set) was on repeat.

Sure, I didn't understand most of it.  When Kenickie talked about his 25 cent insurance policy, I fully thought he was talking about his car.  And the hickie he gave Rizzo, I heard it as "pinkie" -- as in pinkie swear.  I also thought Danny Zuko had "shoes" that were multiplying.

It wasn't until I was in college that I understood how suggestive the lyrics actually are.

And now the kids will be all confused again because they scrubbed Greased Lightnin' up for TV so the chicks will "scream." And they're building a "dream" wagon.

Yeah, that's it.

Oddly, they left, "Did she put up a fight?" in Summer Nights. Eh, whatevs, I always thought it was, "Did she tell me I'm right?" anyway.

Fitting...

So, I've seen this movie at least 100 times. Every time it's on, I get sucked in. Every. Single. Time. I even own Grease 2 without a trace of irony.  Cool Rider is the shit.

(FOX, you listening?  You're waaaay better at these live musicals than NBC. G2 next, mkay?)

As I type this, my mom and I are watching this extravaganza together on the phone -- she's in FL and I'm in NJ.  I've been waiting for MONTHS to see this -- I even Greased Myself.  I might be the most annoying person in the world to watch Grease with because I play along with every line, song, and move.

I was born to hand jive.

Incidentally, I may never recover that the sound went out while Joe Jonas was doing his best Sha-Na-Na doing their best Johnny Casino & the Gamblers.  But Jan Brady in here as Mrs. Murdock makes it all better.

And here's a tasty bit of trivia: You know that Danny Meyer burger chain we all go crazy for?  Shake Shack?  Named after the ride in Grease.

True story.

So, Beauty School Dropouts, I can't be the only superfan. Channel your inner Pink Lady or T-Bird below!



tags: entertainment, pop culture, polls

The Loveseat Potato Fries Up Fall TV, 2015 Style

We all know that DVRs, on-demand, and online streaming shows have forever changed the way we watch television -- to the point that we don't even watch it on a television anymore.

The Jetsons would be super jealous.

Obviously, I have a cable package fit for a queen with every movie channel under the sun. And I already had Netflix and Amazon Prime, but I recently caved in and got Hulu too, thanks to a little Mindy Kaling show I love.

But some things never change. Hold on to your taters, friends -- fall 2015 TV shows are here!

I started these reviews in 2009 and followed up in 2010 with a fascinating (ahem) account of my DVR schedule juggling act. Mrs. Potato Head made a guest appearance in 2011.  The Loveseat Potato was born (picked? harvested?) in 2012.  In 2013, she found a spuddy buddy to watch alongside and in 2014 she was surrounded by a scary herd of cats.

Sounds about right.

You'll recall that I... err, the Loveseat Potato... likes to bag a few episodes of each new show before passing judgment.  This year, she watched 44 different shows for you and invited some fry guys along for the fun.

They are in a hot tub, like on The Bachelorette.

So, without further delay, pass the ketchup and chew on this...


BEST NEW DRAMA:

SPUD: Wicked City (ABC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
1980s. LA. Serial killers. Chuck Bass. This show makes me want to snort some baby aspirin and go kill a drifter! Jeremy Sisto's also in it. And while he looks like he brushed his hair with a fork, I think he's handling 40 just fine.

Honorable mention goes to: Public Morals (TNT -- Ed Burns, you can do no wrong), Limitless (CBS -- interesting because I didn't like the movie at all), Flesh & Bone (Starz), Narcos (Netflix), Sneaky Pete (Amazon)

DUDS: Blindspot (NBC), Quantico (ABC), Code Black (CBS), Rosewood (FOX), The Player (NBC)



BEST NEW COMEDY:

SPUD: The Grinder (FOX)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Rob Lowe is beautiful and funny. Here, he's not a lawyer, but he played one on TV. Fred Savage really steals the show as an actual lawyer. The writing is snappy and it's fun to see that Kevin Arnold's all growns up. The only strange thing is the name, given that Grindr is a gay men's dating site (not like Tinder, which is just meant for straight men and whores).

Honorable mention goes to: Crazy Ex Girlfriend (CW), The Muppets (ABC), Life in Pieces (CBS), Blunt Talk (Starz), Ballers (HBO), Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp (Netflix), Casual (Hulu), Difficult People (Hulu), Catastrophe (Amazon), Grandfathered (FOX -- this isn't that good, but I love me some Stamos -- sue me)

DUDS: Dr. Ken (ABC), Truth Be Told (NBC -- Zack Morris, quit it), Grace & Frankie (Netflix)


BEST NEW SUPERNATURAL:

SPUD: Scream Queens (FOX)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
Ryan Murphy. If Glee and American Horror Story had a baby, it would be this show. Jamie Lee Curtis is the original scream queen and Emma Roberts was born to play Chanel No. 1. It's totally hilarious, the music is amazing, and Oliver Hudson is much better on this show than he is on Nashville.

Honorable mention goes to: American Horror Story: Hotel (FX), Supergirl (CBS)

DUDS: The Bastard Executioner (FX), Minority Report (FOX)




BEST NEW REALITY:

SPUD: Project Greenlight (HBO)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: Ok okaaaay.  I know it's not new, but it hasn't been on for like a decade so it counts. This director is the most delusional yet, and I might actually watch The Leisure Class (unlike the other movies made -- The Battle of Shaker Heights, Stolen Summer, and another stinker I can't remember).

Honorable mention goes to: The Comment Section (E!), Apres Ski (Bravo), Chef's Table (Netflix)

DUDS: Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (NBC -- love you NPH but I just don't know what to do with all this craziness), The Jacksons: The Next Generation (Lifetime), Sex in Public (TLC), Real Housewives of NJ: Teresa Checks In (Bravo -- shame on you!)


BEST CURRENT SHOW THAT'S NEW AGAIN:

SPUD: Undateable (NBC)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This was a mediocre one-note sitcom about relationships. Then, last season they did a live episode and it was AMAZING. Now the whole show is live. Every week. Which makes it 1000x more watchable. I love when they break character, and the celeb cameos (TV's Scott Foley, I'm talking to YOU), and the new credits each week, and the band, and the references to stuff actually happening in the world. Take it to church!






BEST SHOW THAT'S NOT ON TV:

SPUD: Red Oaks (Amazon)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
It takes place in the 1980s in Jersey and I swear when I was 14 I took tennis lessons at the same country club it's based on. So I loved it instantly. I'm even finally getting used to Jennifer Grey's new face. Easy to binge on the whole season in a day.









Lastly, it's time to roast a show I wanted to love (really, I did!), but I didn't:

MOST DISAPPOINTING SHOW OF THE FALL SEASON:

DUD: Blood & Oil (ABC)

WHY IT'S A ROTTEN POTATO:
Oh man, I really was looking forward to this one. It seemed like a Dallas and Revenge mashup, with a splash of Miami Vice and a Gossip Girl cherry on top. Oil tycoons doing what they do best -- double-crossing each other. So, what could be bad? Well, the acting for one. The writing for another. And don't even get me started on the plot. So... no bueno. I'll hang in for a bit longer. Maybe they'll hit a gusher. But more than likely, it will just get drilled.






Disagree?  See anything I missed?  Put the DVR on pause and comment below...


tags: entertainment

The End of an Era

The ashtrays are empty.  The ice cubes have melted.

Mad Men is over.

I still remember bingeing on the first season. I had a DVD set that was packaged like a metal Zippo flip-top lighter. I lost that in a breakup. How fitting...

For better or worse, this has always been Don Draper's story -- it's his world and everyone else was just living in it. Quick to turn a phrase. A chameleon. Ageless. Timeless. Shameless. Suave. Unpredictable. Addicted. A lady-killer. 

Dangerous. 

I've long thought that they've always told us how this would end.  That free-fall through Madison Ave in the opening credits is symbolic, I think, of how the show started with Don at the ultimate high.  He had it all.  On the surface, anyway.  Then season by season, show by show, they chipped away at his perfect exterior.

His career, relationships, and sanity unraveled amidst the pretty pictures.

Would he kill himself? Or put an end to the larger-than-life Don Draper and become someone new? Or go back to being insignificant Dick Whitman?

Now that I've seen the finale, I think I wasn't totally off base. He's definitely having a massive identity crisis and the Don Draper we've known for 7 seasons ceases to exist.  Though, a big part of me wishes that he was inspired by that hippie retreat, went back to the ad game, and made that iconic multi-culti mountaintop "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" commercial for McCann.

I guess the truth lies somewhere inbetween.

But one thing is crystal clear: Tonight proved that the show has been as much about Peggy as it has been about Don. It's his healthiest (only?) relationship.

I loved her getting together with Stan too, but if you think about it, Peggy & Don are the central couple here. They had many special moments together, from the time he visited her in the hospital after she gave her baby away ("It will shock you how much it never happened"), to the day when they slow-danced to Sinatra in the office ("I worry about a lot of things, but I don't worry about you"), to tonight with that heartbreaking collect call ("I messed everything up, I'm not the man you think I am").

He never put the moves on her. He's been a confidant. A mentor. A truth-cannon. She makes him... human.  

Maybe the only other person he ever felt loyal to was Roger Sterling.  He's hands-down my favorite character. He was the coolest. He stole every scene. Roger never disappoints.

John Slattery isn't bad either.

I feel satisfied -- mostly -- with this finale (NOT like the Sopranos, I'm still bitter about that).  Since this has always been a show about the power of words, I'll end with a tribute to the 6 main characters using the lines written for them.

Here are my favorite quotes:

• Roger "Not One For Subtlety" Sterling: "I gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them." (from: Long Weekend, Season 4)

• Peggy "The Accidental Feminist" Olson: "The University Club said the only way I could eat dinner there is if I arrived in a cake." (from: The Beautiful Girls, Season 4)

• Joan "Smarter Than Her Boobs Look" Holloway Harris: "One minute you're on the top of the world, the next minute some secretary's running you over with a lawnmower." (from: My Old Kentucky Home, Season 3)

• Pete "The Charlie Brown of Madison Ave" Campbell: "Don't act like you had a plan. You're Tarzan, swinging from vine to vine." (from: Basket of Kisses, Season 6)

• Betty "Denial Isn't Just a River in Egypt" Draper Francis: "That poor girl. She doesn't know that loving you is the worst way to get to you." (from: The Better Half, Season 6)

• Don "A Marketer After My Own Heart" Draper: "What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons." (from: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Season 1) and "People tell you who they are, but we ignore it -- because we want them to be who we want them to be." (from: The Summer Man, Season 4)

Anybody need a hug?

And anybody hope for a spinoff Three's Company-style with Peggy, Stan, and Joan?  I can see the shag carpet now.  Plus, his hair toss is EVERYTHING.

Or maybe that's just me.

What did YOU think of the finale?  Pitch me your ideas below... bonus points if you do it in Pig Latin.


tags: entertainment, pop culture

The Loveseat Potato Is Back

Fall TV is in full swing but I... I mean, the Loveseat Potato... likes to bag a few episodes of each new show before passing judgment.

It's takes a while for this potato to really cook!

Of course, that means that by the time you read this, some of these shows have been cancelled and others are ready for their winter break. It also means that if you aren't already watching the spuds below, you should fire up your on-demand and catch up!

I started these reviews in 2009 and followed up in 2010 with a fascinating (ahem) account of my DVR schedule juggling act. Mrs. Potato Head made a guest appearance in 2011.  The Loveseat Potato was born (picked? harvested?) in 2012.  In 2013, she found a spuddy buddy to watch along.

Now, she's got 7 potato pets that look suspiciously like cats. (This isn't a glimpse into my future...right?)

This year, she watched 35 different shows for you.  So without further delay, chew on this...

BEST NEW COMEDY
SPUD: Jane the Virgin (CW)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:  It's the classic story of a girl (Jane) who's gyno accidentally pops a fertilized egg into her uterus, so she gets knocked up.  That's a bit of a wrinkle because she's still got her V-card, and has been saving it for her marriage to a cop, who, as luck would have it, is investigating the baby daddy & mommy.  If Ugly Betty, Gilmore Girls and Melrose Place had a baby it would be this show.

Honorable mention goes to: Manhattan Love Story (ABC -- CANCELLED), Black-ish (ABC), Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce (Bravo -- premieres on 12/2)

DUDS: Marry Me (NBC -- I want so badly to like this one, but I don't), Selfie (ABC -- CANCELLED -- John Cho: take heart, this was a mercy killing), Bad Judge (NBC -- CANCELLED), A to Z (NBC -- CANCELLED), The McCarthy's (CBS)

BEST NEW DRAMA:
SPUD: The Affair (Showtime)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: A much-needed escape after the intensity of Homeland on Sunday nights.  Sure, it centers on a steamy affair between 2 married cheaters, but what's cool is that each episode tells the same story first from his POV, then from hers. There's also a mystery woven in.  Plus, the theme song from Fiona Apple is pretty great.  Only thing that bugs me is that this is set in Montauk & Brooklyn but there's not a single NY accent to be found.  Then, I remember Pacey is in this too and all is forgiven.

Honorable mention goes to: Gracepoint (FOX), Stalker (CBS  -- Joss Whedon + creepy 80s songs at the end of every episode + Dylan McDermott = good TV), Scorpion (CBS)

DUDS: Madam Secretary (CBS -- nobody can possibly believe this premise and Tea Leoni is woefully mis-cast), Gotham (FOX -- I think I just don't like Batman), Constantine (NBC), Forever (ABC), The Mysteries of Laura (NBC -- Debra Messing is the least believable lady cop in history), How to Get Away With Murder (ABC -- see below for more)

BEST NEW REALITY:
SPUD: My Crazy Love (Oxygen)

WHY IT'S A SMASH: This show is totally ridiculous, and that's why I like it. A seemingly sane person (who may or may not be an actor) speaks to us via a webcam about the crazy things they've done for love while actual bad actors re-enact the story. So far, somebody pretended to be deaf for 7 months, lied about moving to LA to get her boyfriend to propose and instead went to live with her parents, killed a possum on a first date, got a tooth knocked out while pretending to be a basketball star to impress a colleague, and got arrested for stalking (they later married).  How can you not watch this?

Honorable mention goes to: The Jenni Garth Project (HGTV), Love Prison (A&E -- CANCELLED -- it was like an accident, can't look, can't look away), Married at First Sight (FYI)

DUDS: Manzo'd with Children (Bravo -- the whole premise is off because the sons live in my apt building not at home with mama), Slednecks (MTV), Euros of Hollywood (Bravo), Utopia (FOX -- CANCELLED)

BEST NEW COOKING OR COMPETITION:
SPUD: Hungry Games (Food Network)

WHY IT'S A SMASH:
This show is all about the connection your brain has with your tastebuds. Richard Blais is like a hipper Alton Brown.  He's relaxed a bit since his days as a contestant on Top Chef, and is pretty entertaining to watch.  So far, they've investigated and experimented with ice cream, pizza, burgers, diners, bar food, and BBQ.  Plus, the cherry on top is that I feel smarter afterwards because it's chock-filled with fun facts.

Honorable mention goes to: Nail'd It (Oxygen -- for obvious reasons)

DUDS: Food Truck Face Off (Food Network -- I've fallen asleep 3x during this show -- sorry Jesse Palmer, but zzzzzzzz.....), Fix My Choir (Oxygen), Project Runway: Threads (Lifetime), Kitchen Inferno (Food Network), Holiday Baking Championship (Food Network)

MOST DISAPPOINTING SHOW OF THE FALL SEASON:
DUD: How to Get Away with Murder (ABC)

WHY IT'S A ROTTEN POTATO: Of all the new shows, this was the one that looked the best. Shonda Rimes?  Viola Davis?  Murder?  Hellooooo...sign me up!  The premise is simple enough.  A lawyer/law professor's husband is killed -- did she do it and if so, can she get away with it?  Here's the thing: My head must be filled with mashed potatoes because I can't seem to follow this dumb show. It flips around in time with no warning so I never know what day it is or who knows what.  She makes no sense either -- how can someone be a ruthless barracuda in the courtroom and SUCH a complete basketcase in her life? And I'm totally distracted by one of the students who looks exactly like C. Thomas Howell in the ill-conceived 80's embarassment: Soul Man.  Every week I vow I'm going to stop watching and every week the promo for next week's episode pulls me in -- the commercials I understand. But I'm honestly at the point where I don't care who killed her husband.  I hope it was her and she goes to jail.  The End.


Agree?  Disagree?  See something I missed?  Put the DVR on pause and comment below...


tags: entertainment