Crystal Light Flavor Faceoff

Absurd NYC ban aside, I’m trying to drink less soda -- though someone should really tell that to the 20oz Coke Zero that magically appears in my hand around noon each day.  (I don't have the heart.)

Clearly, at work, I have the willpower of a banana slug. 

But at home, I try not to buy soda because I know if I don’t have it, I won’t drink it. Yes, yes, I’m thisclose to buying a Sodastream – but honestly that’s driven more by my addiction to kitchen gadgets than my love of sugary carbonated beverages that rot my teeth and cause obesity.

So, I bought a pitcher (SEE? Another gadget!) to brew my very own healthy H2O. I went with Zerowater, which I prefer over its more famous cousin, the Britta Water Pitcher Filtration System because that one leaves nasty little charcoal bits floating around in your drink. Ick.

I like my water flat or fizzy, but sometimes I thirst for something… more.

Enter Crystal Light (full disclosure: my awesome brother works on this tasty brand, but this test was MY idea -- as most good things are).

I’ve loved this line of diet lady-drinks for a long time. I have my go-to iced teas that I guzzle by the gallon. Who doesn’t? But I feel like I blinked and the number of flavor varieties in my local dirty Gristedes has quadrupled in the past year. Mocktails, Energy, and Fiber! These newcomers not only keep you hydrated for a raging all-nite sober dance party, they’ll keep you regular too.

Obviously, I needed to try them all.

Fresh off my solo ice cream taste test, with the bellyache to prove it, I decided to recruit a few new members this time – my trusty parents.  Luckily, they humored me.  Thanks Mom & Dad!

Incidentally, if you’re ever hosting a powdered beverage smackdown with your AARP-aged parents, you’ll need: 30 different flavors to keep things interesting, a spoon, a box of disposable bathroom cups, a case of your favorite bottled water, and a trip (or five) to the restroom. Each.

It was a hot night in Del Boca Vista when I commandeered their roomy kitchen island and set up this ridiculous non-alcoholic drinking game. Then we drank, and drank, and DRANK. And something odd happened... 

We 3 people who might not agree on the time of day (it’s 4:45 -- NO it’s quarter to 5 -- NO it’s dinner time!), were all remarkably in sync about the tastes we didn’t care for.  Who knew?

Anyway, enough sweet talk, let's get down to business.  I divvied the flavors into 5 main categories for a faceoff. Here’s how it went down the hatch:

MOCKTAILS:
THE CONTENDERS: Mojito, Peach Bellini, Pomtini, Margarita, and Appletini

SIP: Peach Bellini, Margarita, and Appletini
SKIP: Pomtini

ENERGY:
THE CONTENDERS: Peach Mango, Grape, Citrus, and Wild Strawberry

SIP: Peach Mango and Strawberry
SKIP: Grape

FRUIT:
THE CONTENDERS: Sunrise Ruby Red Grapefruit, Cranberry Apple, Strawberry Kiwi, Cherry Pomegranate, Strawberry Orange Banana, Sunrise Classic Orange, Fruit Punch, Raspberry Peach, White Grape, Raspberry Ice, and Citrus Splash

SIP: Strawberry Kiwi, Cherry Pomegranate, and White Grape
SKIP: Strawberry Orange Banana and Raspberry Peach

LEMONADE:
THE CONTENDERS: Pink Lemonade, Lemonade, Pomegranate Lemonade, and Raspberry Lemonade

SIP: Pink Lemonade, Lemonade, and Raspberry Lemonade
SKIP: Pomegranate Lemonade

ICED TEA:
THE CONTENDERS: Lemon Iced Tea, Peach Mango Green Tea, Raspberry Iced Tea, Peach Iced Tea, Honey Lemon Green Tea, and Raspberry Green Tea

SIP: Lemon Iced Tea and Raspberry Iced Tea
SKIP: Honey Lemon Green Tea





So next time you’re in Stop & Shop or Shoprite, Foodtown or Fairway, Publix or Piggly Wiggly, remember our family taste test and load up on the good stuff.

And Crystal Light Powers That Be -- if you are listening -- here are a few more flavor concoctions I’d like to see ASAP:

• Lemonade + Lemon Iced Tea = Arnold Palmer
• Cherry Pomegranate + Margarita = Cherry Limeade
• White Grape + Raspberry Peach = White Wine Sangria
• Grape + Fruit Punch = Red Wine Sangria
• Wild Strawberry + Pomtini = Strawberry Daiquiri

So, do YOU prefer your water pure, or with a little pizazz? What’s your favorite Crystal Light flavor?

And what the heck do you do with all those empty plastic containers? Mix it up below…


tags:  food, taste tests

I Scream

YOU scream, we ALL scream for ICE CREEEEEAM!

Since I work for a food site, it’s not unusual for us to have fun treats in meetings.  (Tough life, I know.) 

The other day, we had tons of ice cream that I’d never seen before with exotic flavors like Sea Salt Caramel, Banana Chocolate Swirl, Blood Orange, and Sicilian Pistachio.

You had me at Caramel.

Since it’s about 1,000 degrees outside, after work that day I shamefully slipped into the Dirty Gristedes across the street from my apt on a mission to cool off.  It is gross, but it is also close and I feared melting into the pavement if I walked one. More. Block.

I was in search of this mysterious brand we ate, and lo and behold, Dirty Gristedes had a whole mess of this fancy stuff, slumming it next to what looked like a half-eaten Chubby Hubby.

Bingo.

While I was shoulder-deep in the freezer case, I had an idea. What if I did an ice cream blind taste test? Genius! Until I realized it would cost me about $50 AND I would be left alone in my apt with a fridge-full of ice cream. 

What if I ate it all and then I couldn't fit through the door?

Whatever.  I was delirious from the heat and there's a fire department around the corner, so I grabbed a basket and went to town.

Now, I’m not a 365-day-a-year ice cream person. I don’t like cold teeth. But I like it in the summertime! And up until about 7 years ago, I was a flavor purist.  Only Vanilla for me. Then I went to a meeting at work (different company, same idea). Some geeky tech guy was droning on and on and ON about a server migration and database integration and oh, I don't know. Zzzzzzz...

I had no business being in that meeting, but they said there would be ice cream. So I went and I was introduced to Heaven on a Spoon: aka Dulce de Leche.

Salty, sweetie, rich'n'creamy goodness! Since then, plain Vanilla just won’t do.

Anyway, back to the taste test…

It’s a little difficult to do a BLIND test when you’ve bought the ice cream, and you’ve scooped the ice cream, and you’re the only one tasting the ice cream. I was in a pickle. So right after assembling my plate of “mystery” flavors (plus a palette cleanser of -- you guessed it -- plain Vanilla), I emptied the dishwasher.

I hope I also symbolically emptied my mind of the order I scooped in. 

Grab a spoon and let's dig into the rankings:

RANKED #1: Talenti Sea Salt Caramel Gelato
     Texture: Rich
     Ice Cream: Bold caramel-flavored with a hint of salt
     Caramel: Chocolate-covered caramel chunks
     Calories: 240
     Total Fat: 11g
Why?: Oh wow.  This guy had BIG caramel taste with a good amount of chocolate-covered caramel candies sprinkled in. Salty.  Yummy.  It didn't last the night.  (And this is the brand we ate in the meeting, btw -- our editors sure can pick 'em!)

RANKED #2: Edy’s Slow Churned Caramel Delight Low Fat Ice Cream
     Texture: Easy to scoop, right out of the freezer
     Ice Cream: Vanilla
     Caramel: Lots of blobs throughout
     Calories: 110
     Total Fat: 2g
Why?: Try not to lick the screen.  Lots of caramel blobs, obviously, easy on the wrist -- and the waist.  Did you SEE the calories and fat?  I might eat the whole tub, then wear it as a hat.

RANKED #3: Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra Ice Cream
     Texture: Hard
     Ice Cream: Vanilla and chocolate with dark chocolate chunks
     Caramel: Tunnel in the middle
     Calories: 260
     Total Fat: 14g
Why?: This one's annoying.  There is a fat caramel tunnel in the middle.  Excellent.  It is surrounded by chocolate and vanilla ice creams, which is fine if you like chocolate ice cream. Which I do not. (Oh relax.)

RANKED #4: Breyers Dulce de Leche Frozen Dairy Dessert
     Texture: Creamy
     Ice Cream: Vanilla
     Caramel: Small swirls
     Calories: 130
     Total Fat: 3g
Why: Isn't that a lovely scoop?  This one had caramel flavor throughout but skimped on the caramel swirls. That's the best part!  It also weirds me out that this is called a "frozen dairy dessert."  What the eff is that?

RANKED #5: Haagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche All Natural Ice Cream
     Texture: Smooth
     Ice Cream: Mild caramel flavor
     Caramel: Microscopic swirls
     Calories: 270
     Total Fat: 16g
Why: The one that started my love affair with this flavor was disappointing by comparison.  I remember this being so much better!  They totally phoned it in.  Not worth the fat.  PS: Did you know this name is fake?


So, hopefully I have spared you the shame of having the check-out clerk at your local grocery store give you the stink eye when she sees a basket filled with FIVE ice creams of the same flavor.

Go with #1 (or #2) on this list and simply say, “I’ll have what SHE’S having.” (RIP Nora Ephron)

Wait… can you hear that?

It’s the Ice Cream Man, ding-a-ling! Run over to the comments and shout out YOUR favorite flavor below.


tags: food, work

You Just Got Pringled!

What’s that? You say it’s about time for a new taste test?  I couldn’t agree more!

Rather than go for sweets like this time, or this time, I dug deep into the salty category. Think crunchy. Think crispy. Think potato(ish) chips.

I’m speaking, of course, of Pringles.

Now, I can already see you turning your nose up at the crisp that isn’t legally allowed to call itself a chip because it’s only 42% potato. Oh, what a misunderstood snack!

I think there’s something beautifully precise about their uniform shape and the way they line up in a stack. I like the irony of organized junk food.

Plus, Pringles don’t fraternize with your average low-rent bag of chips, all hap-hazard and broken with that weird stubby green one that you're never sure whether to eat or whether to write a letter to the company's CEO and report a tainted bag (or is that just me?).

NO!  Pringles are too good for that. Which is why they stand tall on the shelf in the high-priced nuts neighborhood.  Fancy.

Here’s my top 3 reasons to give them a pop:

• You have to love Mr. Julius Pringle in all his olden-timey barbershop mustache glory.
• The guy who invented the Pringle asked to be buried in a can, and he got his wish in 2008.
• The brand recently sold for $2.35B – that’s a lot of chips (or crisps, as it were)!

So, as I was saying, we tried a TON of Pringles. And by a ton, I mean 18 canisters. Didn’t know there were that many flavors? Neither did we. So, obviously, a blind test was in order to see who’s taste buds could tell the difference between BBQ, Sweet BBQ, and Cheddar BBQ.

Not as easy as it sounds.

My sister-in-law had the good sense to stay out of this one, but my brother and I went head-to-head, armed with nothing but our wits and a gallon of water...

Here’s how the 18 flavors tasted (we could have had 20 -- if not for the elusive Bacon Ranch and Mozzarella Stick!):

1. Original: 2 correct guesses (if we didn’t get this layup, we would have quit)
2. Sour Cream & Onion: 2 correct
3. Cheddar Cheese: 2 correct (helps that these are bright orange)
4. BBQ: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for Pizza
5. Jalapeno: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for Mexican Layered Dip
6. Pizza: 1 mistaken for Buffalo Wing, 1 mistaken for Cajun
7. Ranch: 2 correct
8. Loaded Baked Potato: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for Cheddar BBQ
9. Salt & Vinegar: 2 correct
10. Honey Mustard: 2 correct (and can I just say, yum?)
11. Buffalo Wing: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for Cajun
12. Dill Pickle: 2 correct (and tastes like your sneaker would after a long run)
13. Cajun: 1 mistaken for Sweet BBQ, 1 mistaken for Onion Blossom
14. Sweet BBQ: 1 mistaken for Pizza, 1 mistaken for Mexican Layered Dip
15. White Cheddar Popcorn: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for Loaded Baked Potato
16. Mexican Layered Dip: 1 mistaken for Jalapeno, 1 mistaken for Sweet BBQ
17. Onion Blossom: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for White Cheddar Popcorn
18. Cheddar BBQ: 1 correct, 1 mistaken for plain BBQ

By the end, we had a thirst that a thousand gallons of waters could not quench, and we had Pringles Claw from stuffing our hands in the tube. And I’m not sure who they think they’re fooling with that cap.

Let’s be honest: 1 can = 1 serving.

So who’s palate was the most particular? I'm only semi-ashamed it admit it was mine -- with 13 correct guesses. My brother got 8.  I think he was congested.  But the real winner here is Julius Pringle. I spent like $45 bucks on chips that are only 42% potato!

While we discovered a few new favorites (I'm talking to YOU Honey Mustard and White Cheddar Popcorn), I’m rather thankful we didn’t have access to the international flavors. The Prawn Cocktail and meaty Roast Turkey flavors popular in the UK, or Seaweed with its “natural ocean flavor” and Old American Circus (aka Funky Mustard) eaten in Asia just sound plain gross.

But if old Julius feels like taking a dip in a pot of chocolate, I’d be all over that!  Just sayin.

poll by twiigs.com

 
tags: food, polls

The Great Pop-Tart Pop Off

As I type this, I’m eating a Hot Fudge Sundae-flavored Pop-Tart. Raw.

Didn’t know that flavor existed, huh? Me neither. Admittedly, this snack is randomo under normal circumstances. But these aren’t normal circumstances because I recently purchased 19 different varieties of these sugary breakfast treats.

Yep, you read that right.

I bought 19 boxes of Pop-Tarts from about 5 different stores. I would have bought 20, if I could have found the last one I was looking for (Apple Strudel, you are an elusive and mysterious flavor).

You’re probably asking yourself, why would someone embark on a Pop-Tart quest? Particularly someone who’s not 10 years old. Who doesn’t have kids. Or a particular affinity for breakfast. Or, for that matter, sweet snacks.

The answer is I have too much time on my hands. Simple as that.

So I headed up to Fairfield, CT with nothing but a bag of uncooked toaster pastries and a dream, and asked (begged?) my favorite taste testers to help me crown the Top of the Tarts.

Unlike our M&M challenge, it seemed impossible to evaluate each of these flavors on their own and rank them. There were just too many. So in the true spirit of competition, we assembled a March Madness-style bracket on the dining room table and laid out the Sweet 19.

Each of us went into it with a very clear favorite – the ladies for Strawberry, the guy for Cherry. (Full disclosure: my all-time fave is Strawberry Frosted followed closely by S’mores – these are the only 2 flavors I’d ever tried prior to this and to this day, I’ve NEVER eaten a toasted Tart).

There were a few rules: 1) skip all the product line extensions like 20% fiber and no frosting -- no sense eating a healthy, naked Tart, 2) similar flavors had to play eachother at the outset of the game to establish flavor family dominance, and 3) we had to cut the crusts off so we could taste the true fillings without too much cardboardy coating.

Now, if you simply can’t bear to read my play-by-play on Pop-Tarts, I understand. Just skip to the bottom and see who wins. I won’t judge you (yes I will).

For everyone else… let the Pop Off begin!

ROUND 1:

• Blueberry Muffin vs Blueberry vs Wild Grape: Plain Blubes is the first W on the board by virtue of it being “least offensive” and because it’s “blue inside" unlike "albino Blueberry Muffin” and it’s not “disgusting” like Grape.
• Cinnamon Roll vs Brown Sugar Cinnamon: Roll, with its “fancy icing,” wins because Brown Sugar’s icing “looks a lot like skin.”
• Cherry vs Strawberry: The biggest upset of the night, Cherry could only win “if there was no Strawberry in the house,” according to 2 of the 3 judges. Chalk up one for the ‘Berry.
• Chocolate Chip vs Chocolate Fudge: Even though Chip had “lame icing,” Fudge’s flavor was “not fudgy at all.” Chip was the obvious choice for anyone who "likes their chocolate to taste like chocolate.”
• Hot Fudge Sundae vs Ice Cream Sandwich: Both of these ice cream spin-offs were “pretty bland,” but in the end “vaguely marshmellowy” Sundae won out over “makes me sad” Sandwich.
• Wild Berry vs Raspberry: There was no way “funky smelling” Wild Berry could topple Raspberry. “Oh yeah,” it was unanimous on this one.
• Strawberry Milkshake vs Vanilla Milkshake vs Orange Creamsicle: In this “creamy showdown,” the now discontinued “different” Orange Creamsicle rose to the top because Strawberry gave us “a sweets headache” and Vanilla had a “horrible icing job.”
• Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough vs Cookies & Cream vs S’mores: You have to admire the "artful striped filling” of the “delicious” S’mores, which edged out “dry like sawdust” Cookie Dough and Cookies & Cream, which “took too long to get to the taste.”

ROUND 2:

• Blueberry vs Cinnamon Roll: BBerry got lucky because Roll “was never really very good in the first place,” but we were all pretty certain “nobody can eat a whole Blueberry, let alone 2.”
• Strawberry vs Chocolate Chip: A tough one since Chip was “kinda nice,” but in the end, the “Strawberry Mafia” muscled out a victory.
• Hot Fudge Sundae vs Raspberry: Another unanimous vote for Raspberry, because Sundae “kinda sucked.”
• Orange Creamsicle vs S’mores: Having a “campfire in your toaster” seemed more appealing than “melted” ice cream with an “orange-ish” taste. Chalk another up for your buddy, S’mores.

ROUND 3:

• Strawberry vs. Blueberry: This one was really “no contest” but someone cast a “spite vote” for Blueberry. Strawberry still got 2 “jammy thumbs up.”
• Raspberry vs S’mores: This loss was “painful” for S’mores because Raspberry “cheated.”

ROUND 4:

• Strawberry vs Raspberry: Do you really have to ask who won this final flavor showdown?

WINNER: Strawberry*
(*under protest – my brother thinks his wife and I rigged it for Strawberry – I cannot confirm or deny this ugly rumor)

Yes, it’s a boring outcome, but the bottom line is most of these new flavors are either gross or tasteless. Tried and true is the way to go. Strawberry is #1 in America (and in my heart) for a reason!

It just tastes good.

But if the Pop-Tart elves are ever looking for new flavors to ruin, we’d like to toss a few into the ring: Strawberry Cheesecake, Lemon Meringue, Boston Cream Pie, Peanut Butter and Jelly (only strawberry, grape is gross), Chocolate Peanut Butter, and Chocolate Mint (make sure it's green inside). Produce those, Kelloggs, and we’ll schedule a rematch.

That is, if Cherry doesn’t still hold a grudge for being eliminated in Round 1.

So did we get it right? What’s YOUR favorite flavor? Do you like ‘em raw or toasted? And please don’t tell me you’ve never tasted a Tart, because I will be forced to point at you and chant, “Liar, liar pants on fire!”

Hmmm. Maybe I am 10 years old, after all…


tags: food

M&M (&M&M&M&M&M)

I knew this week was going to be tough, with my birthday on Aug 3rd and my fake wedding day on Aug 7th (even though we never set an official date, we were getting married on the 7th according to our wedding gift registries).

But I’m TIRED of feeling awful. You know what makes me feel better?

Chocolate. And potato chips. And aerosol cheese eaten directly from the can. Kidding about that last one. I put it on a cracker first.

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to try pretzel M&Ms. I mean, I like salty-sweet just as much as the next guy! But I felt I needed to try this new combo in the context of some tried and true flavors. So I gathered 7 packages of M&Ms, and 2 of my favorite people, to put the candies that melt in your mouth (not in your hands) to the test.

In the tradition of my hard-hitting culinary investigative journalism on the subject of Giant Cheetos, I submit to you…

The Great M&M Taste-Off of 2010.

To follow along with the row of M&Ms in the picture, begin with the stinker on the right and work your way left. Oh, and the big brown blob below the row of M&Ms is a Junior Mint (we needed a palette cleanser).

#7: Coconut (white)
Nobody expected to like this one. And… no one did. While it “came in fun colors,” unfortunately, “it’s just not good.” The flavor is pretty “mild,” and it doesn’t have the texture you’d expect from something coconutty, so it feels a “bit like paste” in your mouth. It’s the only bag that went directly into the trash, with a definitive “there’s not a chance I would eat that.”

#6: Almond (orange)
This one was a disappointment (much like the over-hyped mega-M&M that came in sophisticated colors like beige -- like the world is clamoring for more BEIGE candies). Its “nutless taste” was surprising, given the size of the nut inside. Maybe it “needed salt?” Any way you bite it, it was “boring” and “not worth the extra fat.”

#5: Plain (red)
This was the most surprising. The one that started it all was “sweeter than I remember” and the “crunch was more satisfying than the taste.” The milk chocolate “isn’t rich, which is why you can eat a whole bag,” but the sweetness was “gross after a while.”

#4: Dark Chocolate (brown)
With this one, it’s important to note that nobody in the room thought they liked dark chocolate. And I’m guessing in the authentic flavor department, these are to actual dark chocolate, what Taco Bell is to Mexican food. But nevertheless, “once the taste got going, it’s not bad.” And everybody agreed, “I’d eat it before coconut.”

#3: Pretzel (red)
The reason for the taste test did not disappoint… most of us. Cries of “oooh” and “I’ll have another!” were tempered by its dismissal as a “novelty.” The perfectly round shape makes them "fun to shoot across the table." All of us were curious, “what does it look like inside?” and I wondered, “why no yellow?”

#2: Peanut Butter (blue)
A crowd-pleaser, this “cousin to Reese’s Pieces” had a “strong peanut butter taste” and was “very creamy.” We felt that while you “don’t really taste the chocolate, it’s ok.”

#1: Peanut (green)
What can you say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? You can’t deny this “lumpy classic” is “satisfying.” Its “filling, peanutty taste” is what kept us going back for "more, please!"


And there you have it. The Peanut M&M reigns supreme. For now.

After all, you never know what the folks at Mars will come up with in an attempt to keep a 70-year-old brand relevant. Remember the limited-edition Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms they introduced with the Transformers movie last summer? I never understood the connection (did Optimus Prime have a sweet tooth?), and I couldn’t really figure out if I liked them. Even after eating the whole bag.

Somebody had to.

While we’re on the topic of eating a whole bag, PLEASE BRING THE CRISPY M&M BACK. They were delicious. Maybe I should start a Facebook group to rally people around a Crispy comeback. It worked for Betty White.

So, did we get it right? Weigh in below:

poll by twiigs.com

tags: food, polls, pop culture