Why Has Glee Forsaken Me?

What I’m about to tell you won’t be popular:

Glee’s official season 2 has not been good.  They're 0 for 2.

There, I said it. But I’m not happy about it.

I love Glee! And whether or not you watch the show (and if you don’t, really, what’s wrong with you? Do you also hate rainbows and chocolate bunnies?), you can’t escape the hype. Or the praise, which has been 100% well-deserved.

SUPER talented cast, awesome 1-liners, and just an all-around entertaining hour of television. The bar is, admittedly, set quite high.

So it was with great anticipation that I tuned in last week -- eager to go back to school with the crazy kids from McKinley High. And while Empire State of Mind out in the courtyard and the Telephone showdown in the bathroom were both great, there were 3 things that missed the mark for me, big-time:

1. Replacing Coach Ken Tanaka. The jury is still out the new female football coach named Beiste, but I hope she's not a joke. That would be just plain mean.
2. Speaking of mean, having good guy Mr. Schuester join forces with awesomely evil Sue Sylvester to torment the new coach was ridiculously out of character.
3. Making Kurt and Puck practically invisible was a mistake. Kurt is hilarious, and Puck is just plain hot. A miss on both counts.

The whole thing left me feeling… unsatisfied. But what kept me hanging on was knowing an episode devoted to Britney Spears was right around the corner. I was SUPER psyched for it.

And yes, I’m aware of all the things that are wrong with that statement.

So I watched. And I listened. And I waited. And, ugh! Not good. Again! Here’s why:

1. Totally bizarre choice of songs (exception being Artie’s Stronger, which was all kinds of terrific), with the horror of all horrors -- an awkward Baby One More Time by the never-disappointing Rachel.
2. Stupid premise of anesthesia-induced Britney hallucinations. We get it. She’s a guilty pleasure. But is that the best they could do?
3. Too many video reenactments, not enough weaving the songs into the storyline. It worked so well with Madonna/Vogue from last season, and even Olivia Newton John/Physical, but here it was overkill. Forced.

I hate to hate on a show I totally adore. So I should point out the 2 things from last night’s episode that were standouts. First, it showed everyone what a fierce dancer Brittany S. Pierce could be. I had an idea, but wow! And second, it reminded me you can never have enough Uncle Jesse. Ever. John Stamos is like human bacon. He makes everything better. And he’s probably just as tasty…

Hmm. Did that cross the line? Eh. It’s been a long, lonely summer.

Anyhoo, if it were up to me, I would keep Stronger and Toxic (but with a better premise, that pep rally was lame). Then I’d add these 3 numbers that would have been more up to Glee’s standards:

1. Suppose Puck’s had a busy summer, bouncing between all his season 1 love interests, then school’s back in session and the girls compare notes (or sexts, as the case may be). Surely Santana, Quinn, Mercedes, and Rachel could do a killer rendition of Womanizer, with Noah Puckerman in their cross-hairs.
2. Imagine Kurt, still pining football hero Finn, doing an acapella (You Drive Me) Crazy, while looking all mooney-eyed at his locker.
3. Playing off this new Miss Pillsbury love triangle, you could see a Will Schuester and dreamy Doc Stamos duet -- vying for her attention in a pop/easy listening mash-up.  They'd sing Gimme More and she'd sing Arthur's Theme and obsessively pump hand santitizer.
4. BONUS: Let’s say Sue Sylvester was named Coach of the Decade in Splits Magazine. Again. No doubt this would inspire her to belt out Piece of Me while shoving unsuspecting students in the hallway like they were paparazzi.

Either way we should all thank our lucky stars nobody sang, I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman, featured in Miss Britney’s addictively awful cinematic debut, Crossroads.

So in my next life, when I’m a television writer, I’ll set things straight. Until then, if Glee keeps on this downward trend, it’s only a matter of time before an ill-conceived FOX cross-over episode airs that puts the kids at American Idol tryouts. Think Puck singing Daughtry singing Nickelback. Or Kurt singing Adam Lambert singing Queen.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

So, fellow Gleeks, what do you think? Do I deserve a grape slushie facial for this blasphemy? Or one of Rachel’s gold stars? Has all this TV finally fried my brain? Tell me why or why not below…

(PS: John Stamos… call me. Seriously.)


tags: entertainment, music